Longevity Hotel — Hotel in Portimão

I excitedly booked our stay at the Longevity Hotel after a very well-known biohacker + personal friend recommended it. And, leaving bad reviews isn’t something I enjoy, but I was provoked to do so.

I was a lil apprehensive when booking given the mediocre reviews, but I gave it the benefit of the doubt. I should’ve trusted my gut + the reviews. The entire experience couldn’t have been more lackluster.

We’re full-time global nomads, + we do things like this regularly.

Pros | The view is amazing Parts of the property look really nice They let us check in 1 hour early The spa area is aesthetically gorgeous

Cons | They didn’t coordinate with us to book our sessions, so we had to move them all The room has a huge open space with a single chair and no couch [aka no hanging out] The TV is super small + not in a great place Body wash was watered down vs. refilled There are stains all over the hallway carpet on the 2nd floor There’s water damage throughout Weather stripping is exposed along with free glass panels laying up against the walls outside The only treadmill is broken The food is okay, but I wouldn’t consider it longevity focused [yam fries [fried], traditional bread, deli meats, regular cheese, cereals, no berries, etc.]. It also has a ton of weird spices + flavors. The dinner menu selection is super small The latte machine makes luke warm lattes at best The vibe here didn’t make me want to spend thousands of dollars on tests when the foundation/basics are missing You have to call to use the sauna, salt room, + spa area when it’s massive + has capacity for a lot of guests Wearing a swim cap in the pools just to relax is absurd They don’t provide towels in the spa area, instead you have to remember to bring it from the room which is inconvenient There aren’t any hooks for robes outside the sauna or salt rooms The manager didn’t know what a cold plunge was, nor do they have one The dry sauna isn’t infrared There isn’t any red light therapy What longevity spa closes at 6PM? Guests want the option to sauna or relax right before bed. The employee came down right at 6PM to kick me out, + I could tell she was on her way out and I was inconveniencing her. The Circuit Training was more of a HIIT class with hard rock instead of fun, upbeat music The relaxing massage consisted of dumping a bowl of oil all over my back + moving the oil around. I know it wasn’t going to be deep but some pressure can be applied and still be relaxing. We had to ask them to come clean the room at 3PM The WiFi was super wonky for the first 1.75 days. It kept kicking us off randomly + wouldn’t let us rejoin. We finally fixed it ourselves by rebooting.

A technician swung by in the morning, + we told him it was sorted. The manager approached me before my workout with an attitude + asked about the WiFi. I told her we resolved the issue. She then told me we should’ve come to them vs. putting something on Google. First, I didn’t write the review, + I didn’t know my husband did. Second, customer service 101 is rectifying the situation and making us happy, not telling us how we should or shouldn’t express our discontent. Third, snarkiness + being unapologetic didn’t help. Fourth, after my workout she passed me in the hall with a scowl on her face. If this woman ever worked for either of us she’d be fired immediately without a reference.

In ways, it feels like this place is on its last legs and is trying to cut overhead by diminishing the guest experience vs. crushing customer service + marketing. We heard the owners have deep pockets but it doesn’t feel that way.

I DON’T recommend this place AT ALL. Save your money + go to a true longevity facility that truly embodies the ethos. Huge disappointment. Guests shouldn’t shoulder the hotel’s burdens/problems.

Here’s a message for the actual leadership team…feel free to reach out to me if you’d like to discuss this in more detail. You have a huge area of...

I'll start this review by saying that you should in general trust the 3 star reviews on this hotel as they are mostly accurate and I myself should have heeded their advice.

Breakfast 🥐

One of the reasons we chose this hotel was the healthy looking breakfast. Have to say the breakfast was great with choices of toast, yogurts, small pastries, various cheese and hams and even gluten free cakes and bread.

Every day they had different "to order" foods, for example omlete or pancakes, but always only 2 choices.

Coffee was available from 2 machines located in a corner and the coffee was OK, similar to vending machine coffee I suppose.

Overall breakfast was a highlight but there were still slight issues: one day the options was a bao bun with salmon. The bun we got had freezer burn and was pretty much inedible. Another day they had pancakes, but again these were not fresh but essentially lidl or store bought pre-made packages which then they heat up so they taste like lidl bought pancakes 🤷‍♂️. The only positive was that the presentation was very on point but the taste pretty awful.

Another problem is the breakfast is 8 am to 10 am but the so is only from 10 am to 7 PM, which means you will be in the unconformable position of either eating breakfast then going to the spa full of food or forsake breakfast and go to the spa at 10.

THE SPA ♨️

This is the second major reason why we chose this hotel. Now the SPA offers a sauna, steam room, meditation room and salt room. They have also an ice machine and a heated "walk" stone relaxation thing from hot to cold but it was under maintenance when we were there.

The SPA area has also a nice "nature" shower with 3 types of jets and 3 types of "perfume" experience.

You'll also find 2 small pools with hydro jets. You cannot swim in these but only dip realistically as they are very small.

Overall the spa facilities were ok and we had fun.

Now, the major problems with the SPA which we did not expect were

1. the fact that you have to book a slot in advance at least 1.5 hours,

2. the fact that you need to pay for their overpriced mandatory swimming cap and slippers (though you can bring your own if you have),

3. some days they are strict you need the "token" to get the spa towels and you can't get towels without token, but then on certain times after 3 pm when they clearly clean towels they won't take them back to give you your token but say to "bring them to your room" so then next day you have to have an ackward conversation on why you have no token since staff changes in the mornings 🥲.

the weird and bad SPA timings: they start you at 10am and end way too early at 7 PM. Basically the SPA is open when you're out and about in the city, then you come back and want to relax but can't as they already closed 🙃.

The hotel itself and room 🏨🛏️

Where to start?

⛔The entrance has no sign, it's actually to the back of the hospital but nobody will bother telling you so good luck finding it especially if you're coming in the night.

⛔ The hotel bed sheets were nowhere near 5 star quality - simple satin low thread cotton. They were never changed even though we stayed 5 nights - other hotels would change every 2 or 3 days.

⛔ As others have said, bathroom is completely enclosed in glass so you see everything and hear everything. I knew this going in and my wife and I simply took a step outside on the balcony while doing business so we were ok.

⛔ They won't provide 2 room keys so you'll be stuck with no electricity when you're out to charge your ipads or laptops etc. The key is also a bamboo / wood key which will break if you're not careful.

⛔ The hotel infinity pool on 3rd floor is not heated so freezing cold most times. Its also not minded at all and plenty of birds clean themselves freely all during our breakfast time.

✅ The room had an empty minibar where we could put our own drinks like beer and coke which was...

I was very excited to stay in this hotel, the photos and online reviews where great, however, after a 10 day stay I left feeling quite disappointed and dissatisfied and wouldn’t return.

The hotel really is beautiful, well finished, and has the best bed I’ve ever slept in abroad, great views and the gym facilities are excellent

All the yoga and relaxation classes are brilliant too, I really enjoyed these and the walk to to the town with the American instructor and the Portuguese lady was also amazing. I would give this 5* on its own.

The spa is also good, although it’s got issues. The hamam is lovely but gets far too warm, the salt infusion room is great but the beds are too hot, pools are great, sauna is great, relaxation room was “closed” but clearly just not being used anymore. Outdoor space wasn’t being used and would benifit from some beds out there.

Massage was unlike any I have had before but was also excellent, can’t fault the staff really, although a bit overpriced.

Bedrooms are lovely, although the glass bathroom is a bit wierd, I hope you like seeing your partner sitting on the toilet as it’s impossible not to, there’s a blind on one side but not the main window. Great bed, great shower.

All the common areas are nicely done and very clean. The restaurant area on the roof is nice and has some nice outside seats

The food at breakfast is pretty limited but what is on offer is good and healthy.

Sadly, this is where the good stuff stops and I became disappointed.

On the ground floor there is a restaurant and a tea lounge, both are closed and not used, this is a real shame as the tea lounge especially is a lovely looking space and would be a nice place to relax.

The food on offer in the roof top restaurant is limited at dinner, we ate there the first night and the food was ok, but not worth the money, every other day we went into the town, where the food is better (so many good places for Fish)

Breakfast the staff are painfully slow and you’ll only get 2 choices for food off the menu, usually scrambled eggs or fried eggs, very disappointing for a 5* place.

The pool area is also well below what it should be, there is 8 sun beds, sometimes 12, for the whole hotel, and beware there is NO umbrellas, so no shade at all, and you’ll be lucky to get s bed, people are up at the crack of dawn to reserve them with their towels, which the staff don’t remove, and then go off about their day so You’ll be lucky to get a bed, we ended up going to the beach everyday (where you’ll have to pay for a sun bed), the staff also hardly ever clear the area up, so there’s old cups sitting around for hours attracting flies

There are a few nice sofas under the veranda but still not enough.

There’s a large terrace area on the ground floor which I assume would be used for the restaurant but now it’s just not used, again , this space would be good for some beds or cabanas and a above ground pool instead of just a vast area of nothing, the whole ground floor just feels a bit like the place is on the verge of closing down.

In the room you don’t get a bottle of water each day which is well below the standard I expect

There is no shuttle bus to the town, meaning you either have to walk, or get a taxi which becomes a bit tedious since the food in the hotel is poor. Even the cheapest hotels in Benidorm can cater to this.

There is no bar area downstairs and the top one shuts at 10pm, you can’t even order a g&t only a cocktail version which is €10!

It’s a real shame, hopefully the Management will take on some of these ideas and make this hotel as good as it could be, they aren’t high cost, personally to use as a base it’s a good hotel, but not really a luxury resort. I wouldn’t stay...