Figtree Lane Lodge — Hotel in uMhlathuze Local Municipality

Cottage 3||The windows have not been cleaned in years. While the outside of the windows are caked in dirt that would take a week of effort with a Brillo pad to clean, the inside is heavily layered with black soot easily discernible by gently wiping a finger over the panes.||The front door is difficult to open and close and much effort is needed to lock or unlock the door.||The bedroom overhead light does not work.||The bedroom bedside lamps are a thousand years old and perhaps were once white and actually attached to the lampshade frame. ||The right hand side bedside cabinet holds an aged and mouldy facecloth in a plastic bag obviously from a long-ago departed forgetful guest. ||The bedroom cupboard doors are partly unhinged and I was frightened to use the cupboard in case the doors fell off in my hands.||The floor under the bed has not seen a cleaning in years.||The cupboard wall safe has no key.||The dining room overhead lampshade is so full of dead insects as to render it a fire hazard.||The curtains have a musty/mouldy odour.||The breakfast-nook table is unstable.||The couch in front of the TV is boldly sprung and cannot be considered comfortable in any sense. ||The toaster does not work.||The geyser was switched off on my arrival. I found this out waiting on hot water from the shower the next morning.||The mini-fridge was open and switched off. (No ice trays.)||An empty can of mosquito repellent.||No complimentary bathroom accoutrements.||Half-used toilet roll and never replaced throughout three nights of stay.||A pile of dirt/soil grains in the shower.||Stains and dirt on the bathroom walls.||A broken and loose cold water tap in the shower. Yes, the knob comes off in your hand!||A shower unbecoming of the term “shower”. It is a deplorable dribble and not more.||The cold water tap over the bathroom basin is stiff and leaks unless you squeeze the death out of it.||There is no shaving mirror at or near the basin.||The towels are old, thin and not by any imagination “4 STAR”.||A thin and destitutely threadbare bath towel was left on the couch on my first morning. It was torn at the seams with threads dangling from all sides and ends. When the cleaner returned, I asked the cleaner to replace the floor-wiping cloth with a proper bath towel. This took seven hours to replace as she was waiting for my previous towel to dry.||The cottage is entrenched with a thriving colony of mosquitoes.||I ask: When last did you holiday in Cottage 3? When last did you visit Cottage 3 nevermind inspect? When last did you give a damn about your guest’s comfort?||Four...

This is the worst place possible to stay at, I wouldn't wish this accommodation on my worse enemy. This is a self catering lodge with zero self catering facilities. The owner lacks the most basic understanding of customer service, telling us, lodge guests - to hurry as he has people to attend to and speaks rudely to his customers. How this establishment received a 4 star grading...

Place is well run and rooms are adequate for holiday purposes, helped massively that wifi was included and very gratefull for aircon in the rooms. overall the experience was good, could maybe do with a bit of touchups - paint etc. and fixing some broken items, maybe adding a better braai area for the units at the entrance, but all in all it was great...