Cliveden House — Hotel in Beeches Community Board

It’s no wonder that Cliveden House—a masterpiece of architecture and landscape design with a rich, captivating history—has given rise to a toxic mix of arrogance and ignorance. This unfortunate blend makes the hotel portion of the estate a miserable experience for anyone expecting luxury service worthy of the estate itself, the price tag, or the two Michelin Keys it somehow holds.||||It seems that the personnel (especially management) believe they are descendants of the Astors themselves and are doing your poor mortal soul a favor by hosting you in such a grand establishment. Perhaps the place makes everyone feel so small and insignificant that they seize any opportunity to exercise their own inferiority complexes—often on guests, and perhaps even more junior staff.||||To make matters worse, the constant flow of tourists who flock to Cliveden for its fame contributes to a complete dismissal of feedback and a lack of motivation for improvement.||||Let’s get into the details of our experience to understand why we arrived at what may seem like a controversial conclusion.||||⸻||||The Estate||||The estate itself is truly breathtaking—from the grand fountain at the entrance, to the immaculately landscaped gardens, the views of the forest and River Thames, and the various pieces of art collected from around the world. The gold clock tower, fireplaces, painted ceilings, and sculptures make for a stunning and unforgettable atmosphere. Sadly, for the most part, this is where the spectacular experience ends, and the reality of incompetent and arrogant hotel management sets in.||||⸻||||The Good|||| • The doormen were exceptional. Along with the maids and a few staff members in the restaurants, they were the only personnel who made us feel welcome. They weren’t pretentious, were extremely helpful, and genuinely seemed to want us to enjoy a carefree, luxurious stay.|| • The maids were also excellent—discreet and efficient in both morning and evening services. The only issue we had was discovering a dirty nappy bin upon arrival.|| • The house tour on Day 3 was pleasant, informative, and well-conducted.|| • Breakfast was acceptable. While it lacked any luxury items or advanced cooking techniques, the essentials were there and the staff were friendly and attentive.||||⸻||||The Bad|||| • Receptionists were either utterly incompetent or unbelievably arrogant. They would routinely pick up the phone and ignore us when we approached. When we did manage to speak to someone, the responses were often nonsensical—for example, when asked about live music, we were told that “sometimes there are weddings with live music.”|| • Despite informing them in advance that we had a newborn and a pushchair, we were given a room on the first floor in the only wing without a lift. When we raised this, we were brushed off with a dismissive, “It is what it is.” No introduction to the grounds, the room, or facilities. Nothing.|| • We had booked a tennis court for four different days via email and even confirmed it in person at the spa. No one mentioned that the courts are a 10-minute drive away and often require waiting for a car to take you.|| • We pre-ordered a picnic (£178) for a boat outing and specifically requested pescatarian options. Instead, we received all meat and a few vegetarian items—nothing pescatarian.|| • The unused crib we asked to be removed stayed outside our room for two days despite three separate requests.|| • Upon checkout, I expressed that the service was not up to luxury standards and asked for the service charge to be removed. While they agreed without resistance, they entirely ignored my feedback and offer to discuss our experience. In over a decade of travel, we’ve never encountered such indifference.|| • The billing was incorrect. The nightly rate charged was different from what I prepaid, and I’m now disputing the discrepancy. They also charged £12.50 for a hash brown at breakfast—without informing us that it was an extra charge or providing a bill at the time.|| • The worst moment was during our second dinner at the Cliveden Dining Room. We arrived with two children (one a newborn). About 30–40 minutes in, just as our mains arrived, the baby became mildly fussy. We tried to soothe her discreetly for two minutes. Before we could leave or calm her down, a waitress asked my wife to leave the dining room to avoid disturbing other guests. My wife was understandably upset, and I left left shortly after her. The dining room manager came out and argued that it’s acceptable to ask guests to leave, comparing it to telling loud adult groups to quiet down. This is an absurd comparison—children are allowed in the dining room, and newborns can’t always be instantly calmed. Mid-conversation, a senior staff member walked up and, without acknowledging us, started to have a conversion with the manager and told her that he needed her elsewhere when she’s done with us. Unbelievable. Though they did comp the dinner, there was no follow-up or apology for the disruption it caused—particularly for my wife.||||⸻||||The Ugly||||The Spa deserves its own section under “ugly.”|| • Upon arrival, we were told, “The pool is that way”—with a vague wave down a long corridor. No tour, no towels, no sunbed setup, no menu, and absolutely no service. Yet, the moment my six-year-old and I entered the outdoor jacuzzi (with no one else around), a staff member instantly appeared to tell us children weren’t allowed. Similarly, five minutes before children’s swim time ended, someone showed up to remind us. This happened every single visit. One time we weren’t even greeted at all. Should I mention that no one brought up that there is disabled access which would help us avoid stairs with the push chair? It was, however, open for private event guests…|| • On our second day, we were greeted by an older lady who immediately informed us—grim-faced and channeling Tim Curry’s concierge in Home Alone 2 after he found out that Kevin’s credit card was stolen—that it was 17:27 and kids’ pool time was almost over. Fortunately for her, she didn’t get the satisfaction of turning us away, as I pointed out children are allowed in the outdoor pool until 18:00. Naturally, five minutes before six, we were reminded again that our time was up.||||⸻||||Conclusion||||While some individual issues might seem minor in isolation, taken together—and in the context of a supposed “luxury” hotel charging £1,000+ per night and bearing two Michelin Keys—they paint a clear picture of systemic incompetence, arrogance, and a lack of accountability. It’s such a shame as this place can be truly magnificent in the right hands.||||⸻||||Next Steps|||| 1. Contact Relais & Châteaux to inform them of the appalling service at Cliveden and urge them to investigate. We previously had a great experience at one of their properties in Italy, so we hope this is an isolated case. If the situation is rectified, we’d be open to returning.|| 2. Reach out to the Michelin Guide, suggesting that their next inspection be anonymous—and ideally include children. It’s clear the hotel put on a show during inspection to earn their keys. We’ve stayed at six other 2-Key Michelin properties in the UK, and all but Cliveden delivered service that matched expectations.|| 3. Request that Google separate reviews for the hotel and the estate. The hotel benefits unfairly from positive reviews left by day visitors who didn’t stay...

A Return Visit That Sadly Fell Short

Update (August 2025): After posting my review, the General Manager personally reached out with a sincere and detailed response, thoroughly investigated the matter, and offered a generous gesture to restore my confidence in Cliveden. I truly appreciate the time, professionalism, and care shown, which reflects the high standards I had always associated with the property in the past.

I have stayed at Cliveden House on multiple occasions, including two overnight visits, and unfortunately, I must say that the level of service and attention to detail has noticeably declined.

For this recent stay, I had specifically requested a memorable experience for my elderly parents, highlighting in two separate emails that they have limited mobility. Despite this, our room was allocated on the first floor, requiring a flight of stairs to access. While I chose not to complain at the time, I was disappointed—particularly given the effort I made to communicate our needs in advance.

Additionally, I inquired about the possibility of an upgrade upon arrival—something I had been graciously offered on both previous stays. I reiterated this request in my emails as well. At check-in, I was informed that while larger rooms were available, I would have to pay the difference. I fully understand that upgrades are not guaranteed, but as a returning guest—not only to Cliveden but also to the company, having stayed at Chewton Glen, a sister property—I had hoped for a more thoughtful gesture and a greater level of recognition.

To add to the disappointment, I was assigned the exact same room as during my first stay. Given the size and grandeur of the property, it was disheartening to find myself back in the same space. I would have expected guest history to be taken into account when preparing for my visit.

On arrival, the bathroom was not in an acceptable condition: there were multiple hairs on the bathtub and the toilet seat was loose and unstable. I immediately requested maintenance assistance. While someone did attend, the fix was superficial at best, and the issue persisted throughout our stay. With two elderly parents, this made it difficult to ensure they felt safe and comfortable using the facilities.

We later went for cocktails at the bar. One of the servers was clearly irritated when I asked whether they could prepare a Clover Club. His tone was abrupt and unwelcoming, which fell short of the standard expected at a five-star establishment. That said, the cocktail he prepared was excellent, and I commend his skill as a mixologist, even if his manner left something to be desired. The waitress who served the drinks, on the other hand, was entirely lacking in both polish and professionalism. It was surprising to encounter such a lack of grace in such an iconic setting.

On a more positive note, dinner was a highlight. The food was outstanding, and the service was attentive and pleasant. Particular praise is due to the lovely sommelier and the Egyptian server, who noted that my mother enjoyed the bread and kindly offered a second round. These small, thoughtful touches are precisely what define true five-star service.

The spa remains well-maintained, clean, and efficiently run, just as I remembered from previous visits. Staff there were polite and welcoming. Breakfast was also enjoyable, with the dining room team offering attentive and accommodating service.

I feel compelled to share this feedback because Cliveden House has always held a special place in my heart as one of the finest luxury hotels I’ve experienced. Sadly, the lack of warmth, diminished attentiveness, and absence of those exceptional touches that once set it apart have left me disillusioned.

In the past, I would have returned without hesitation. Now, I’m no longer so sure. It’s...

If you can afford it, I implore anyone to stay at Cliveden House for at least one night. We booked a two night stay, and we're pleasantly surprised when we turned up to be told we had been given a room upgrade. We stayed in Prince Albert, which is above the spa, and has a view over the only grade one listed pool in the country. The room was lovely with a very comfortable king-size bed. The room decor was luxurious with silk wallpaper and antique furniture. We certainly took advantage of the spa facilities, which consist of two swimming pools, one inside and the aforementioned grade one listed pool being outside. Both heated so usable all year round. Also in the spa were two outside jacuzzis and one inside, a steam room and a sauna. My wife also attended two yoga sessions, which she loved. We dined in the main restaurant the first night. There were only two other tables of two couples in the restaurant that night, so despite the undeniable beauty of the room, it did lack a bit of atmosphere. The menu wasn't really to our liking and struggled to find dishes to get excited about. The wine list, however, is extensive, and we chose a brilliant New Zealand Sauvignon Blanc. The highlight of the evening was our waitress, and here I hope I spell her name correctly, Indy. She was a pleasure full of good humour and even laughed at my jokes! Breakfast at Cliveden is amazing. I have included a picture of the table of the cold breakfast items. It really is a sight to behold. You order your hot items from a menu. We had the best afternoon tea we have ever had that afternoon. Again, I have included pictures. The sandwiches were as fresh as could be and a perfect selection of fillings. Then, the bonus of a savoury selection makes this afternoon tea stand out even more. The warm scones were brought out only when we were ready for them but not before we were offered more sandwiches. We only declined more sandwiches for fear of turning into Mr Creosote. The cake selection rounded off a perfect tea. Anna deserves a mention here as she looked after us for two breakfasts and the afternoon tea. She always had a smile on her face and was very attentive. After a late afternoon of a lot more swimming to try and work off the afternoon tea, we ate at The Astor Grill. I say we ate, but we only had a couple of starters of calamari and the meze plate. Both were lovely and plentiful for a light meal. We were served by Davy, who was an absolute pleasure. He spent time chatting with us and gave us the history of The Astor Grill and that it used to be the holding stables for the horses. The Astor Grill is a lovely place to eat, and there is a lovely outside area for when the months heat up. We visited in March, and although there were heaters and blankets outside, we weren't brave enough to sit out there. Finally, I would like to thank Caroline, who answered many questions from me on the front desk, including a question about the cushions in our room! Caroline made sure we had everything we needed and is an asset to the House. All the staff were friendly and attentive, and you had the feeling that nothing was too much for them. I hope this review helps people if they are thinking of staying at Cliveden House, we definitely hope to return soon. The grounds around the house are amazing so make sure you take your walking boots. A walk down to the river is a must. I almost forgot to say, look out for the two ducks who return year after year and can be seen most mornings in the outside pool. At least for the...