Chilli India — Restaurant in Melbourne

Ah, Chilli India, a name that evokes the promise of piquant flavors, aromatic spices, and a culinary voyage reminiscent of the bustling streets of Mumbai or the royal kitchens of Lucknow. Alas, this establishment delivers none of the above and instead commits the gastronomic equivalent of first-degree culinary malpractice.

Let us commence with the egregiously ludicrous pricing structure, which, I surmise, was conceived by a committee of mathematically illiterate individuals with an active disdain for logic. A single curry and rice costs $15, yet two curries with rice cost $20 a mere $5 increase for double the food. Pray, what economic wizardry dictates such an absurd discrepancy? If two curries can be offered for only five dollars more, then by that same logic, the marginal cost of the second curry is approximately free. And if that is the case, why, dear culinary charlatans, is a single curry priced at a preposterous fifteen dollars?

But wait, the sheer irrationality of their pricing strategy pales in comparison to the egregious insult that is their $6.50 Gulab Jamun. A dessert that, in any self-respecting Indian establishment, would be priced at half this amount, was not only daylight robbery but also a hygienic catastrophe. One of the jamuns had an ominous black spot, a defect that no competent chef or ethical business would dare serve to a paying customer. The second one? Mutilated. Cut, desecrated, and presented in a state that suggests either wanton negligence or outright apathy toward quality control. If I desired adulterated sweets, I would have simply abandoned reason altogether and purchased discount candy from a gas station.

In conclusion, two stars—one for the mere fact that I did not succumb to food poisoning (a miracle, given the evident lack of quality control), and the second because I am feeling unusually charitable today. But rest assured, this establishment shall never again receive a single cent of my hard-earned currency. To the proprietors of Chilli India, I implore you , either rectify your egregious failings or accept that you have no place in the realm of...

The Indian is back at Chaddy!

It’s been more than a decade since the last Indian food place was found operating at the shopping centre. Why it took so long for a new one to open is a mystery.

So we now have Chilli India, more appropriate tag name should be Indian Oil.

The curries are super rich in cream and oil, enough to clog up your insides the way the Monash M1 clogs up during peak hour traffic.

We had two curries with rice deal with roti purchased separately on the side. Roti is not from the tandoor, more on this later.

Curries were Butter Chicken, Paneer Butter Masala and Chilli Chicken served with Basmati Rice.

The Good… Serving size is large, enough to fill up any hungry adult. Rice was cooked well. Roti taste was great. Value for money. That’s it.

The not so good… Why do they put so much cream and oil to make them curry taste so rich, would be good to actually taste the ingredients for once, have anyone checked Thai place in the food court? Chilli Chicken was more bone than meat with good level of spice. Panner dish was Paneer, turmeric and cream with a dash of onion. Roti - you cannot have an Indian place without a Tandoor to make fresh naan, parathas or rotis, this tawa roti does not do justice to the high octane curry meal.

3/5 - tried once to get that oil hit and that’s enough for me.

Suggest you give it a go as well.

Keep going...

YOU MUST TRY THEIR goat keema samosa! The yummiest thing I've put in my mouth in years. Packed tight with rich flavoursome gorgeous meat.

Super helpful staff said it only had a little chilli, and yes, I got a tiny tingle. Very mild & suited MY weak gutt & miserably low tolerance for chilli.

I also had Bread Pakoda, a fried goat cheese toastie, it looked similar to two sandwiches fused together. Chilli free and absolutely delicious.

My lunch mate is someone that tells restaurant staff: "If the chef isn't crying when he cooks my food, it doesn't have enough chilli in it."

He was very happy and deeply satisfied as his meal met his polite request for the highest level of fire, heat & brimstone.

I don't know exactly what he ate, as when I looked at him, my eyes started bleeding. You must eat here, something for every palate.

Mega value for money. I loved it. The staff were enthusiastic and seemed happy to be there. I intend to become a loyal customer. Welcome to Chaddy, Chilli...