Oporto South Perth Drive Thru — Restaurant in Victoria Park

Well, this was a treat!

Driving back from an appointment and caught without lunch, the hunger gremlins began their mischief, making their presence loudly known.

Ugh. A cardboard burger? Hard pass. So, we took a quick 2-minute detour to Oporto. Hunger demanded action, and why not, right?

Now, let me preface this by saying: we are connoisseurs of junk food. We’ve sampled offerings from all the big-name chains—probably more often than our waistlines care to admit. From SA to NSW to QLD, we’ve even ticked off Oporto in various states. But this was our first time trying it in WA.

Our expectations? Not high. We just wanted something edible that wasn’t from the golden arches (we all know those arches aren’t exactly golden in quality). Crunchy chook from you-know-where wasn’t on the menu either. All we wanted was a burger that actually tasted like a burger.

As humble eaters with a budget far from “smashed avo toast deluxe” and plenty of experience dining curbside, our hopes were modest. But folks, this wasn’t just lunch—it was a plot twist straight out of The Twilight Zone.

Let me paint you a picture:

We walk into a spot that’s not only immaculately clean (even the toilets—yes, I checked), but where the staff were smiling. Not just polite, mind you—happy. And here’s the kicker: we ordered to eat in, expecting the usual brown bag shuffle while scouting a semi-clean table.

But no. This was different. We were served at our table. On actual plates. And when we were done? The staff cleaned up after us as we got ready to leave. What dimension did we just enter?

Now, the part you’re waiting for—the food. Simply put, it was excellent. Fresh, flavorful, not burnt, and the chicken? Juicy, tender, and spilling out over the edges of the bun. It was the stuff burger dreams are made of.

But, no one’s perfect, so let’s talk downsides:

The burger was almost too good. My normal-sized hands struggled to contain the sheer proportions of this masterpiece. Eating it gracefully? Impossible.

The chips were so fresh and delicious that my standards for fries are now irreversibly high.

My husband and I enjoyed the meal so much that we’re already brainstorming excuses to find ourselves on that side of Perth again.

In summary: If you’re hungry, skip the usual suspects and grab food here. It’s tasty, fresh, and might just make you question everything you thought you knew about fast food.

And if you are the francisee reading this...

The only good thing I can say is that the chicken was cooked well. Came in at 4pm when it was super quiet. The woman taking my order was really lovely, but the one bringing the food over severely annoyed me as she didn’t even bother to check who’s food was who’s and gave my meal to my partner (big no-no in hospitality, especially because I was severely hangry from having worked through the lunch period). The chicken tenders were bland and flavourless, the chips were lacking in salt and the Jalapeño snack bites were awful! How are you going to call a slice of roasted capsicum with cheese a Jalapeño popper? Where was the Jalapeño? It wasn’t even spicy!! Overall a HUGE disappointment, I’d honestly just recommend going to Nandos. I can see why Opporto is going out of business now. Biggest...

Oporto are about the slowest fast food around, and this place is no different. BUT you get good and surprisingly healthy food after the wait, and something I have appreciated more and more of the South Perth outlet is their reliability. Every time I'm looking for dinner near the CBD without having to cook it myself, there's always some "unexpected" drama that means I can't get the experience that was advertised.

Is South Perth Oporto open especially late? Absolutely not. But they are open when they say they are open, serve what they say they serve, and it takes about the same time to get it whether there's 10 cars in line or 1. They have never messed up my order. This should be a low bar to pass but for their competitors it...