La Petite Maison (LPM) Limassol — Restaurant in Κοινότητα Πύργου Λεμεσού

A Review of Our Experience at LPM Restaurant: A Lesson in Hospitality (or Lack Thereof)

Ah, LPM—what does it stand for? One might assume it’s short for something elegant, perhaps “La Petite Maison.” But in our case, it felt more like “Lamentable Patron Mistreatment.”

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The Grand Arrival (or The Great Empty Room Mystery)

We arrived at the restaurant to find it completely empty. A warm welcome? Not quite. Instead, we were asked if we preferred to sit inside or outside. Given the options, we chose inside—after all, the sight of a beautifully set but deserted restaurant seemed quite inviting.

“Oh, unfortunately, inside is fully booked,” came the response from the hostess.

Fully booked? Odd, considering every single table was empty. Not one occupied seat in sight. Perhaps their reservations were for a ghost clientele, who would soon materialize and take their rightful places.

Instead, we were led to the enclosed terrace, which had been thoughtfully sealed with plastic curtains emitting a delightful chemical aroma—a fragrance best described as “Eau de Industrial Factory.”

To make matters worse, there was a giant ashtray nearby, and guests would casually wander over to puff away while we dined. Between the plastic fumes and secondhand smoke, it was practically a Michelin-starred survival challenge.

We politely requested to be seated inside again. Denied.

Apparently, in exactly 15 minutes, the entire restaurant would be flooded with patrons. We were skeptical but decided to wait.

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The Heroic Stranger & The Vanishing Bread Butter

Just as we were about to leave, an unidentified gentleman—perhaps sensing our growing frustration—magically found us a table inside. The same supposedly “fully booked” dining room was still completely empty, but at this point, we were grateful for the victory.

We ordered a selection of starters and main courses.

The starters? Outstanding. • The warm prawns were spectacular. • The marinated sweet peppers were bursting with flavor. • A basket of bread was offered, and we asked for some butter to accompany it.

Did we ever receive that butter? No. Did we ask again? Yes. Did we ever see it? No. Perhaps it, too, had been reserved for the mysterious 15-minute crowd.

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Lamb Cutlet or Lost in Translation?

The main courses arrived. Now, let’s talk about expectation vs. reality.

When one sees “Lamb Cutlet” on a menu, one might reasonably expect a cutlet—perhaps a tender, well-seasoned patty of minced lamb.

Instead, what arrived was a bone-in lamb chop, looking very much like its ribcage hadn’t gotten the memo. Was it a bad dish? Not necessarily. Was it anything remotely close to a cutlet? Not in this dimension.

Meanwhile, the duck was exquisite. No complaints there.

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Service? Let’s Call It “Service.”

It was… fine. Nothing remarkable. Functional, at best.

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The Grand Finale: The “Fully Booked” Illusion & The Unexpected Guest

After nearly two hours, we requested the check. Looking around, we noticed something amusing: more than half the tables were still empty.

So much for the “we’re fully booked” excuse. Unless, of course, we had just missed a large-scale group reservation for invisible people.

To top it all off, as we finished our meal, we were graced with the presence of a small spider crawling across our table.

Now, I’m not one to overreact, but generally speaking, a fine dining restaurant should not come with complimentary table wildlife.

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Final Thoughts: Difficult Customer Syndrome

I left feeling like I had just auditioned for the role of “Difficult Customer” in some hidden-camera social experiment.

And to add insult to injury, when we left, the hostess didn’t even offer so much as a goodbye.

Not that we were expecting a grand farewell party, but a simple “Thank you for dining with us” wouldn’t have been out of place.

Would we return? No. Would we recommend it? Only to those who enjoy psychological thrillers disguised as dining...

Extremely Disappointing Experience – Not up to LPM Standards

I’ve been a loyal guest of LPM for years, having visited the restaurants in Nice, London, and Dubai over 20–30 times. I know the menu, flavors, and experience by heart — which is why my visit to LPM Cyprus was truly shocking.

From the start, it was clear something was seriously wrong in the kitchen and with the staff. We waited 20 minutes to be seated despite having a reservation and arriving 5 minutes early. The reason? There weren’t enough staff to clean tables. At least 5 tables were left dirty with leftover food and plates from 10pm until we left at 12:30am. Even the floors had menus and food thrown around.

The food was the biggest disappointment. We ordered the burrata, but what we got was definitely not burrata — not in taste, texture, or appearance. It was a round ball of creamy cheese, and I’m certain it was a completely different product. I even overheard the table next to us telling the manager the exact same thing. LPM’s burrata is iconic, and this was far from it.

For the first time ever at LPM, I was told that the escargot is cooked with alcohol and there was no option to have it without alcohol — something I’ve never encountered at any other LPM location.

I asked three different waiters for a straw, and not a single one brought it in over 2.5 hours.

I ordered the grilled sea bream, which took 1 hour and 15 minutes to cook and another 15 minutes to be served. The food was underwhelming and not up to LPM’s standard at all.

Lastly, the kids menu was completely unsuitable — nothing appropriate for children.

I left genuinely upset and disappointed. This experience felt nothing like the LPM I know and love. I’m attaching photos showing the dirty tables that were never cleaned the entire time we were there.

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Let me know if you’d like a shorter version or want to post it on a specific platform like Google or TripAdvisor — I...

Disappointing – Not the LPM I Know in Abu Dhabi

I’ve been a loyal LPM guest in Abu Dhabi, with over 20 visits, so I know the quality, flavors, and experience inside out. Sadly, LPM Cyprus was a huge letdown.

The endive salad was the first red flag — just four tiny leaves on a small plate, barely dressed, and completely lacking in flavor. It felt more like a garnish than a starter.

The burrata was equally disappointing: bland and clearly not the same product I’ve enjoyed countless times in Abu Dhabi. The burrata at LPM Abu Dhabi is iconic — rich, creamy, and unforgettable — and this was far from it.

The calamari was also disappointing — a small, brownish portion that lacked both the crisp texture and the vibrant flavor I’m used to. In Abu Dhabi, it’s golden in color and served in a large bowl, perfectly cooked and delicious. This version didn’t come close.

Mains like the grilled sea bream, shrimp, with coriander and orange duck were okay, but they took far too long to arrive and didn’t leave a strong impression in taste.

The only dish my husband and our friend genuinely enjoyed was the oysters.

Even the drinks missed the mark — my gin and tonic arrived with the main course after reminding the staff twice, while others at the table had already received their wine much earlier.

Now that I’m settled in Cyprus, I genuinely hope this feedback helps the team improve. LPM is a name I truly respect, but this branch needs serious attention to...