La Pescadería Restaurante — Restaurant in El Puerto de Santa María

I must confess to all reading this review of the inhuman monsters my wife and I were when we dared to infringe upon such hollowed ground as La Pescadería.

We approached, brash, uncouth, greeted first by lame, out-of-date hipster music played at overpriced bars from the mid-2000s.

Even though Google and the sign said they open at 1230, on this sacred day, we dared to interfere with their ritual by asking to be seated after waiting in full-view for some minutes.

With a glare, a scoff and a snort, the noble server deigned to give us directions to where we could sit by vaguely waving his hand and barking "ayi."

We dared to interrupt the great man by requesting we not sit in the glaring sun, then, practically pushing to two partially shaded seats, he left with no other word or direction.

We rudely and quietly sat for more minutes, waiting for the Great Man to grace us with his presence so that we may receive refreshments to quench our thirst.

Alas, dish water or worse was not good enough for the likes of us, as when he emerged from his important ritual inside the hallowed, he rolled his eyes and became upset when we asked for a paper menu.

How dare we!

How dare the world allow cretins such as my wife and I work decades to afford to travel and vacation in Spain to enjoy a seafood meal?

It is unconscionable, and the devastation we visited upon them with our presence is only rivalled by the suffering of La Guerra Civil.

My wife and I left, having not ordered anything as we were not worthy to exchange our hard-earned money for their advertised goods and services.

We will reflect on our time there, and the changes it may create in our lives if we allow them, so that some day, maybe, just maybe, we will be worthy for whatever food falls...

We stumbled upon this restaurant on a chilly January day this week in 2024 and had a really great experience. We were shown to a table in a beautiful inner courtyard. A step into the past. We were given menus in English which were easy to read and understand, not a poor translation of the original Spanish. The waiter was fully attentive and brought a perfect rum and coke with ice and lemon. The bread was on the table within seconds of my asking yet it was hot from the oven. The food dishes were exactly as described yet even better quality than I expected. We were both really pleased with the starters, main course and a lovely dessert. The bill was not expensive. I can thoroughly recommend this...

food was ok the tuna tartar was good burrata salad was basically a lot of greens, burrata type cheese, a few dried tomatoes and very little sour dressing dessert was coulant with ice cream - best part of the whole dinner service was very disappointing they cleared plates even when other people at the table were still eating ignored when we wanted to order wine didn‘t bother to ask for coffee etc restaurant was very quiet so they easily could have provided a much better more attentive service! they seemed completly uninterested in us and almost ignored us very sad...