El Patio de los Sentidos — Restaurant in Icod de los Vinos

Absolutely the worst dining experience I’ve ever had. The restaurant lures you in with a big sign advertising paella but what they don’t tell you is that it’s €15 per person. Our server simply asked how many wanted paella and when I said five, we were shocked to later be handed a bill for €80. For that price you’d expect something close to Michelin quality. Instead, what arrived was a disgrace.

The portion didn’t even come close to feeding five people. The shrimp hadn’t been cleaned (still full of poop), the seafood reeked of old fish and the rice was dry, bland, and completely unseasoned. I’ve eaten paella countless times and never in my life have I had one this bad. It was literally inedible.

The service matched the food. Careless, dishonest, and insulting. This place is a tourist trap of the worst kind charging outrageous prices for food that belongs in the garbage. Do not eat here under any circumstance.

Sin duda, la peor experiencia gastronómica que he tenido. El restaurante te atrae con un gran cartel anunciando paella, pero lo que no te dicen es que cuesta 15 € por persona. Nuestro camarero simplemente preguntó cuántos querían paella y, cuando dije cinco, nos sorprendió que luego nos dieran una cuenta de 80 €. Por ese precio, uno esperaría algo cercano a la calidad Michelin. En cambio, lo que llegó fue una vergüenza.

La ración ni siquiera alcanzaba para cinco personas. Las gambas estaban sin limpiar (todavía llenas de caca), el marisco apestaba a pescado viejo y el arroz estaba seco, soso y completamente sin sazonar. He comido paella innumerables veces y nunca en mi vida había probado una tan mala. Estaba literalmente incomible.

El servicio no estuvo a la altura de la comida. Descuidado, deshonesto e insultante. Este lugar es una trampa para turistas de la peor clase, cobrando precios exorbitantes por comida que debería ir a la basura. No coman aquí bajo ninguna...

Went here because there seemed to be some vegan options. The menu had changed from what we saw online. None of the tapas were vegan, so the only option was a small plate of grilled veg with hummus. Despite being really tasty, it was marked as a main for €10, but it was more like a starter. Ended up going to another restaurant for a proper meal afterwards.

Tea was also quite expensive for a mini cup. Staff were okay but took a really long time getting our change after paying with cash. (Cash only or Spanish bank transfer, they do not accept...

A good food experience initially when I ordered the fried aubergines (€8) but after eating a couple of them the rest were undercooked. I had a cortado for €1.20. When I told staff that they were undercooked and I showed them they apologised and told me that the cortado was on the house as a way of apologising. I think it should have been the opposite way - that I only pay for the cortado and not the aubergines but they didn’t seem to understand how good service works. Their patio is...