Seaside cafe — Restaurant in East Devon

"Seaside Café or Toddler Tantrum Training Ground?"

You know you've struck gold when the defining feature of a café isn't the food, the coffee, or even the atmosphere — it's the overwhelming fear that someone, somewhere, might dare to use their sacred toilet without first pledging eternal loyalty (or at least buying a cappuccino). If only they'd lean into it properly: rebrand as Seaside Toilet, charge to use the bathroom first, and grant access to the café as a delightful bonus. Problem solved. We arrived, foolishly expecting a pleasant lunch. My wife made the rookie mistake of using the toilet while I waited at the table, which apparently triggered DEFCON 1 behind the counter. A waitress swooped in like an avenging angel, visibly put out that I wasn’t prepared to order for the both of us while my wife was indisposed. Sorry for exercising basic manners — I’ll be sure to abandon all social norms next time. Once united, we ordered drinks and tried to sort food for our 7-year-old. He asked for some nuggets without chips, (simple enough for most establishments not staffed by people waging personal wars against reason), a nugget sandwich perhaps? The "chef" — and I use that term as loosely as possible — declined again. Just the nuggets? Sure — but it'll cost the same extortionate £8.50. For nuggets worth approximately the price of a lost button. Outstanding value, if you hate money. As our child tried to process the barrage of unsolicited meal suggestions from the waitress — who by this point had mistaken 'helpful' for 'overwhelming' — we realised that the only thing on the menu worth ordering was an exit. And then came the grand finale: As we walked out, the sad little man (I think the so called "chef"), apparently having a full toddler meltdown, muttered just loud enough for us to hear, "That’s why we lock the toilet.", a grown adult behaving like a sulky six-year-old. Customer service skills somewhere between a moth and a used tea towel. When asked to repeat himself, he suddenly developed the hearing of a 98-year-old bat and instead grinned at us like a Cheshire cat who'd just pooed in the parlour. We promptly went to another café down the road (the Budleigh Village Emporiam & Cafe) where they welcomed us without suspicious glares or a military tribunal for using the facilities. In short: If you love passive-aggressive hostility, absurd pricing, and chefs who throw tantrums with all the dignity of a playground squabble, this is the spot for you. Otherwise, you'd be better off eating your own shoe on a park bench.

EDIT: Thank you for your reply (did the man child reply to my original review? 😂), yet you still don't get it, the point isn't what our child did or didn't have or want it's your inability to accommodate even a slightest change in menu or even be aware of what customer service is.

On a serious note, if you switch your perception and actually say yes to people using the toilet (I know, its such an inconvenience for you) you might actually find that people are more willing to spend money in your establishment instead of you antagonising your customer base but who knows I'm...

This place is a nightmare. As soon as we walked in, the vibe was all wrong—like we were being watched by hawks, which made everything so awkward. We planned to eat here, but the waitress wouldn’t stop pressuring us. We couldn’t even get a simple change to the menu, so we decided to leave.

We only glanced at the menu from the outside because, honestly, most places are happy to accommodate customers, especially for something that’s already on the menu. But here? Terrible customer service and no warmth at all. The only thing they seem to care about is guarding their precious toilet like it’s Fort Knox.

As we were leaving, we got passive-aggressive comments about using the toilet. I just wanted to wash my hands before eating, but apparently, that’s a crime. The toilet was gross, by the way—hardly worth defending.

I shouldn’t have to justify my actions or be treated like I’m doing something wrong. The comments from staff were childish and unnecessary. The owner clearly doesn’t take responsibility for their actions and prefers to verbally insult, and blame customers instead of reflecting on how they made us feel. We left because we felt uncomfortable and unwelcome, simple as that. (Clearly something the owner can't seem to accept, incoming toilets are for paying customers comments).

I wouldn’t recommend this place to anyone. No even for the toilet, in fact, I’d rather have a wee on the beach than sit on their grubby loo.

Edit: Thanks so much for your charming reply—where, once again, you take zero responsibility for how you treat people. Basic human decency would honestly go a long way in your establishment. You don’t have to roll out a red carpet, just treat people like people instead of criminals for needing the toilet or daring to ask a simple question.

Had you shown a friendlier attitude, made us feel welcome, or even just been a little accommodating, we would’ve happily stayed and ordered. But instead, you chose to be defensive and rude. So yes, we left—and not because of what was or wasn’t on the menu, but because of how you made us feel.

But hey, what would I know? I’m just a customer—clearly not the kind you want. Carry on guarding that toilet like the crown jewels and blaming everyone else. Five-star hygiene doesn’t mean five-star attitude, and that’s where you’re...

Attended Seaside Cafe at lunchtime today. Ordered a cheese & pickle sandwich & tea for my friend and I.

The middle aged waitress was unable to fully understand English and she was very abrupt and rude when taking the order.

When the sandwiches arrived, the bread was dog eared and was not fresh, neither was the cheese which was rubbery and tasteless with the minimal amount of pickle being the overwhelming flavour.

The tea was weak served with a chipped cup and the utensils grubby.

Whilst there, a man entered the cafe with his young daughter who appeared to be about 12yrs and the man respectfully asked the foreign waitress if his daughter could use the toilet as she was desperate. The waitress spoke rudely to the man stating that his daughter could only use the toilet if they ordered a drink or food. The man said he’d already eaten and pleaded with the waitress to let his daughter use the toilet as she has IBS and she would have an accident. The girl had tears in her eyes and clearly embarrassed she asked the waitress to please use the toilet. Again the waitress refused and both the man and his daughter left distressed.

This really was an awful lunch and left me with anxiety due to the treatment of that poor girl. The food, tea and whole experience was traumatic. Never again. The staff and manager/owner really need to amend their policies, service levels and food quality.

If I could give zero...