SOHO Coffee Bradley Stoke Leisure Centre — Restaurant in England

This café is wonderfully convenient… if you happen to work there. For customers, it’s a bit like joining a cult where nobody knows when salvation (or your panini) is coming. No numbers, no names, just a Darwinian food lottery where only the strongest willed claim their order.

Seating is a premium experience: you pay extra for the privilege of sitting at tables that look like they’ve hosted a children’s finger-painting class every hour of the day since 1997. Chairs are so grimy you half expect David Attenborough to narrate the wildlife living on them.

The food itself? Irrelevant. By the time you get it, you’re too exhausted from loitering to care. The only reason this place still exists is because it has the monopoly inside the leisure centre. It’s basically the North Korea of cafés—no competition, questionable hygiene, and you leave wondering how you got...

I visited today after our swim session. The service was very slow. They looked overwhelmed. I asked the lady to toast my toastie, as I wasn't asked.

The lady asked if I was taking out or sitting in. I said taking out. She but my toastie on the side, rather than put it in the toasting machine. She served the next customer and I was still waiting. Then she served the next and I was still waiting. Then she finally put my toastie on. When she took it out of the toaster she cut it up, with the same gloves she just used to handle bacon with. I am a vegetarian and so I pointed it out.

I think the staff need to be educated in food cross contamination. I was so annoyed after waiting. She asked if I would like her to make another. I said no and got a refund. Won't be spending my money...

I go to the swimming pool once a week with my son and sometimes it's nice to stop for something to eat; it was a very busy day and I understand why I also work in hospitality; I asked if they could please clean the table for me as they were all very dirty; the lady took the tray and then she never came back from inside the kitchen; in the end I had to clean it myself... I honestly think it's rude since you see it as a dirty table and I think it's important to leave clean tables for the customer who arrives later. Very long waiting times. Then another thing that I don't understand is why they don't put a waste bin outside the playground where the children always play, it's always dirty and it seems like no one...