Rockwater Hove — Restaurant in Great Britain

Date: 3rd August 2024

Now then. Rockwater had been on ‘the list’ for a while, ever since we’d come to realise the extent of the scarcity of nice, informal, quiet spots for a bite overlooking the sea closer to home in Brighton; we just had to wait for an opportunity that would justify the trip. Confusingly - off-puttingly for research-shy, decision making-averse people-pleasers - the venue is made up of a roofed terrace and a ground floor split into a bar & kitchen area and a ‘lodge’, each offering a different menu further subdivided by hour of day - and that’s not to mention the several food and drink shacks that sandwich the main building. For Mich and I, a prospective bill at the terrace would easily run into special occasion territory, whereas the remaining options hadn’t quite tempted us into a weekend booking (required!) that would divert us from a blessed unstructured weekend. Nor had the kind of serendipitous moment in which you pleasantly amble the two-plus miles up the seafront from Palace Pier, starting to feel those pangs just as an outdoor or window table becomes available, yet materialised. And so we needed an opportunity.

That came on the Saturday of Pride weekend. We’d had a friend we didn’t want to reschedule due to visit that day for ages - before we realised - but it worked out well. Laura’s not a big fan of big crowds, and so Rockwater allowed us to kill two seagulls with one pebble (not literally if you’re reading this RSPB - I’m as au fait with the Wildlife and Countryside Act 1981 as the next man). Mich and I walked there along the route of the Pride parade in the opposite direction of travel, which meant we got to see most of the floats, dancing and outfits - the outfits! - that it comprised, and by the time we’d passed the iSore and met Laura we could swing cats again, too. Happy days.

Rockwater was busy enough that we had a coffee in the lodge while we waited for our table. Because of the whole multiple options thing, I’d left the arrangements to Mich, and as someone for whom the first in-depth study of a menu is one of the joys of restauranteering, all I knew was that we were having brunch. Because of that, I was put slightly out of kilter by the unmistakeably delicious aroma of mozzarella wafting over from the in-house pizza oven. If I’d known, I could have planned by having breakfast (hot fresh pizza can’t be the first meal of the day). Also, then I wouldn’t have been so bloody hungry.

It was with such thoughts swirling that I disregarded the ‘plates and bowls’ (12-4pm - burgers, salads, fish & chips) and pizza (available for an extra hour) sections of the menu and went straight to ‘all day’ brunch (8am-4pm) after a suggestion that “we could just stay here for all day” was met with dismissive, unamused laughs. It wasn’t meant to be funny, actually. The dinner menu starts at 5. Hunger defeated adventurousness, with no-one in the mood to risk a crab benedict or halloumi harissa hash and all three of us opting for quantity via the fry-up (Mich) or the steak and egg singular (Laura and me). The former did what it said on the tin, which was great, because sometimes they don’t; the latter had mixed reviews. I really enjoyed mine, the garlic aioli suiting the tequila and lime, though it was served on top of an uncuttable flatbread and so essentially turned into a cheeseless version of what I had resolved to avoid (ask for extra hot sauce in advance, before everything goes cold); Laura’s steak was chewy though. I know, because I ate most of it in the end.

The window table, extensive drinks list and all the catching up we had to do meant that we very nearly did stay long enough to get hungry again. It was ridiculously easy to while away the hours looking out beyond the drizzle to the green green sea, but I’m not sure we’d have been as lucky on a nicer day when everyone else wasn’t dancing away down the beach in sequins and rainbows. Eventually we did leave, not getting far before stopping for generous ice-creams at one of the shacks, before heading back to Brighton to join the...

They sat me at a table and then when out of their way and checked the time the table I actually wanted was reserved for and let me move over to it so ce it wasn't for 3 hours

It took an hour for someone to take my order and that was only after I looked forlornly at the food of 4 separate families who received their food before my order got taken but arrived after I did

I ordered the pint of shrimp that while plated nicely came shell on with no finger bowl or small plates to dispose of shells. Once I had my fill of the rather bland tasting tiny morsels the waiter came and asked me if I wanted a finger bowl

The beef was the tenderest I've had with a roast thus far and the Yorkshire pudding helped me to understand why people even order these things. It was light and fluffy and not oily in any way, I'm assuming this was done RIGHT. THE CARROTS and parsnips were both tough and over cooked. The kale was flavourless but done right. After having finally tasted what roastie potatoes are supposed to taste like, there were a major let down

There was no gravy and or offering of accompanying sauce

Yei hi s in I haven't gotten a top up of water

At 1:42 I got a heads up that table I was sitting at would need to be used for the afformentioned reservation so I finally ordered my desert the last course of my 3 course menu and moved to a different table to accommodate the establishment

The brownie had the consistency of a thick cake and was a real let down when expecting a brownie

Absolutely everyone who arrived after me ate and departed before I finally finished my brownie.

At 2:16 the table folks came and I went to the bar to pay because the paycheck never came and after all the table hoping I had no clue where I had actually eaten.

Ten minutes standing by the door and someone finally came and sorted my bill.

The only to go boxes other than pizza and the problems all felt like back of the house problems instead of wait staff issues

If you want a cute atmosphere go, if you're into chasing Disney servers, go.

If you're a non confrontational introvert who only has 3 hours to themselves on a weekend, I wouldn't spend...

Have to say that I was disappointed with the visit here today. Had a table pre-booked for at least 2 weeks in advance. We were seated swiftly and had drinks ordered not long after, so a strong start, however for 8 drinks, (none of which were complicated) it took almost 15 minutes to arrive. I was abit shocked considering there seemed to be plenty of waiters/waitresses and bar staff on hand, milling about the place and it wasn't particularly busy at the time we sat down.

Once food was ordered very shortly after drinks arriving, we were waiting for over an hour before the starters appeared. Once we had finished starters, about another 10 minutes or so went by before they cleared the tables, and another 10 to 15 minutes after, mains came out.

I have to say, one or two items were wrong and one of the items came out cold. In fairness to the team, the mistakes were corrected quickly and they apologised but by this point we were all quite hungry and abit fed up of waiting, so we ate.

The food, for the high prices paid, I'm sorry to say is nothing special. Average at best. The drinks menu was overly expensive too for what was on offer. The prices are akin to what you'd find in Central London, yet the service, nor the quality of the food matches said prices. The 2 main waiting staff we had in particular did seem to be quite friendly and knowledgable on the menus, however to me it was fairly clear that a large number of the rest of the staff just didn't want to be there and were clearly dis-interested in their jobs.

I would recommend to the management that they investigate ways in which the team can be more efficient and improve their service times, perhaps look again at the quality of the food and for the remainder of the staff who were looking clearly dis-interested in being there at all, perhaps have a discussion to ascertain what is causing them to behave in that manner and address it promptly.

If you look after your staff, your staff will look after your business and...