Il Pagliaccio — Restaurant in London

Earlier this week, we had a meal in this restaurant with old friends. It started so well. An authentic Italian trattoria - convivial, rowdy, EURO’24 on various screens for groups of diners, lots of plants, Italian memorabilia on the wall, wholesome authentic Italian food, friendly staff and yes, certo! a fully accessible toilet to accommodate my wheelchair.

By our main, we were deep in conversation fuelled by Italian beverages. All talking at once as old friends do … about literature, the football, the election, absent friends when a loud fracas exploded from the kitchen and an enraged individual emerged slamming counters, throwing empty bottles into the recycling bin and shouting at the staff. I judged this an appropriate moment to visit the disabled toilet that, when I reached it, turned out to be off an anteroom behind stacks of function chairs and a piano. Time, I thought for quick sharp Uber, but no my pals, experienced in community engagement, retained the services of a local cricket team enjoying some post-match pasta to clear my path. Although quite spacious and well equipped, the thoughtful addition of the piano in the toilet seemed an unnecessary adornment to my needs and who was going to play it anyway?

When eventually I returned to our table, it was to witness an hysterical animated individual, the owner apparently, arms outstretched and with passion blazing from his eyes bellowing a non-apology apology to the few remaining customers who had not long since departed. Done not with the brio of a fading Neapolitan tenor attempting a final rendition of Rossini’s Largo al factotum from the Barber, but with the menace of a mafia boss who, having despatched his now-late lieutenant (AKA the cook) was attempting to reassure those under his protection.

The food wasn’t that bad, the floor show was alarming, the disabled facilities were unfit for purpose. Finding a new cook may take some time, repairing the reputational damage could take longer. The owner, after some anger-management awareness training, might reflect that the purpose of a trattoria such as his is to provide good food and wine in a convivial atmosphere with an Italian cultural experience that provides an escape from the stresses of everyday life and not a contemporary reprise of a Dario Fo surreal and frenetic...

This was probably one of the worst meals I have ever had.

We arrived to eat at 9pm, which on a Saturday you'd expect to be busy.

There was a party of 10 next to us, which gave the 'outside' are we sat in a bit of an atmosphere. If they were not there it would have been empty.

The waiter had no idea what the soup of the day or fish of the day was! and those were the only dishes of the day he had to know about!

For starters my friend and I had Prawns and Meatballs, both were sent back as they were raw!

For main, we both ordered salmon which came with veg, I only wish I took a photo. The side portion of veg (spinach and potatoes) came on a side plate, the spinach was swimming it is own juice and there was about a mouthfulls worth to eat. I ordered an additional side portion. The Salmon, which was grilled, tasted like it has been thrown into a deep fryer (obviously they wanted to make sure it was cooked!!!)

We ended up senidn ti back, asking for the bill and only being charged for the drinks we had.

The clowns on the windows were tacky, Roman sculpture outside the entrance was tacky, especially with a serviette wrapped rounds its private bits! Felt like we were somewhere like Magaluf. Only thing was I didn't see a group of boys in England football t-shirts!

That being said, the pizza's on the table next to us...

The food was decent but sadly awful service - we were practically ignored the whole evening and after 30 mins had to actually walk up to someone who worked there in order to ask if we could order the food. A bottle of wine was ordered but never came - we were charged on the bill and had to ask them to take it off as they had forgotten to bring it over twice. When the food finally arrived, no parmesan was offered for the pasta dishes so after 5-10 mins of waiting (expecting it to come and not being able to get anyone's attention) again had to go up to the bar and ask someone if they could bring parmesan. No-one came over at any point to ask how the meal was and after the meal we wanted desserts but at no point did anyone ask or bring over dessert menus. After waiting another 15 mins after the main, trying to catch their attention to ask for dessert menus, we gave up! It's a shame as they missed out on us ordering wine and desserts, and we were really hoping to enjoy our experience here. I'm afraid I wouldn't recommend if you're looking for...