Le Vacherin — Restaurant in London

I visited with my partner for his birthday and we both left the restaurant feeling unsettled. What was meant to be the cherry on top of the icing to a lovely day, turned out to be extremely anticlimactic. We would’ve laughed it off if the disillusionment came solely from the food. But absolutely nothing ruins a fine evening like bad etiquette from a waitron.

What makes me really upset is that I can’t shake the feeling that we were subjected to subpar service because I purchased a groupon deal for this event. I wasn’t going to bring it up as I didn’t want to end a lovely date on a low note. It was my partner (who never complains) that commented on how he though the waitress was being rude to us because of the discount.

The brunette waitress who cleared our entrées didn’t ask us once how we found our food. Considering I left about a third of the scallop tartare, an attentive waiter would’ve asked wether there’s a reason for that. It is a well thought out dish with contrasting flavours but the scallops were ultimately not fresh enough and not the standard that one would hope for a Michelin guide restaurant. The usual freshness of the ocean and sweetness of raw scallop was replaced with a faint fishiness that comes distinctively from seafood that is not fresh. I would expect the produce in a restaurant to be as good if not better than the quality that I source from the markets. It is 4am and my stomach is still bubbling.

Nothing really stood out for him from the set menu so he decided to have a look at the a la carte desserts for a better option and found a lemon soufflé. He asked for attention and was met by a patronising voice shouting “wait a second, I’m still putting your order in”. The friendlier waitress came to us as it was apparent that we wanted to change something from the order we’ve made a second ago. There was a price difference in the desserts and it goes without saying that we are willing to pay extra or whatever requested. When she informed her colleague about the swap she began to shout really loudly that she could not do that because we paid for a groupon deal and the soufflé was much more expensive. We heard the whole conversation even though they were a whole corridor down because of how hysterical she was being. We began to get more and more uncomfortable.

She then told us that the menu was “specifically put together for the groupon discount” and nothing could be changed because it would be more expensive. As far as I know the prix fixe menu exists for £33p/p anyway and it’s not some special groupon menu. The deal simply adds a discount and offers a bubbly + hot drink (which we didn’t get). She said we could have the soufflé “only at full price” and I explained that I was happy to pay more for the swap only to hear her repeat about the groupon deal. Considering I’m not asking for free cake, it would’ve been nice of her to ask the manger to accommodate a small birthday request. I don’t mind paying “full price” as she kept saying. The conversation ended with “can I cross out the soufflé then?”.

While waiting for the cake, I asked the other lady for the evening menu and the brunette caused a scene and said we ordered from the groupon menu and we could only order from that list. She thought we wanted to change something again but I simply wanted to check out their evening menu. By this point we were both really angry and upset.

To make matters worse they gave the birthday cake to the wrong person (I made a note and called the restaurant beforehand). The mille feuille we both ordered was disgusting and worse than pub food quality. What was supposed to be a beautifully buttery pastry was replaced with a stale and vegetable oil tasting cracker. I haven’t complained once about the food until this point but really had to ask the waitress how the pastry was made. To my disgust but not surprise she told me that the chefs couldn’t tell us as the sheets were store brought. I left more than half of the cake, no one commented and just took the plate away. I’ve never left a restaurant feeling so...

Ok I took some time to decide if I needed to leave this review or not…but I think because of the whole experience I deemed it necessary for future diners considering my aunt, who has lived in Chiswick forever, loved this restaurant and has come here for years, also felt the experience we had the other evening was completely not up to par per her usual visits.

To preface: I have had the pleasure of working in and running over a dozen establishments back in the states, anywhere from a dive bar to fine dining restaurants, for the last 12 years. That being said I will say the SAVIOR of the entire experience was the Maitre D. I cannot remember her name but she was Italian and had glasses. She was LOVELY. Game changer to have someone like that running the show.

I will break this down by doing Pros vs Cons and try to keep it simple and to the point.

Pros: our food (my partner and i shared the Chateaubriand) was damn good. Needed salt but that’s just my personal taste buds. the Maitre D was excellent. She was without a doubt one of the best I have ever come across cheese plate was very tasty as well

Cons: (this is going to be lengthy)

our server. She was nice. Sure. BUT. I do not know what the hell was going with her but she did not have a clue on how to address guests in a formal setting. Wayyyy too overwhelming, oversharing strange stories we didn’t ask for, getting too friendly (ie very touchy with us, physically). As a former server/bartender you have to learn to read the room. She did not. Keep it short and sweet and concise. She kept calling my stepfather “papa” after we had already told her not to. She forgot 5-6 things. Not 1-2. That can be looked over…but 5-6 at an establishment like this is just unacceptable. The whole experience with her was just not good. I don’t know how to put it any other way without getting rude and I won’t do that on this platform.

the value: Atrocious. I mean that. My partner ordered the scallop dish, which was somewhere around £15-16 ($20USD). We were warned it was small which is fine. But it came out and I was SHOCKED. It looked as if they took one medium sized scallop and cut it into 3 little pieces. Completely unacceptable and outrageous to even contemplate serving that as a “complete” dish. That’s an amuse buche AT BEST. You will not get your money’s worth here. The total bill was £471 and I left hungry. Ridiculous.

the food: my mother crab tart was underwhelming, lacked salt and again, tiny. The cocktails…don’t get me started. Not up to par for what you’d expect with paying that amount. The Escargot…man. Take the snails OUT of the shell. I had to crack two of my shells to get to the snails. Don’t make me work to eat my food. If I want to do that I will go to a seafood joint where I crack crab legs. The Lamb entree. Overcooked. And the green sludge they SMOTHERED the plate in was completely tasteless… The creme brulee was underwhelming as well. It was fine, but I’d pass on it if I ever came back.

the manager/host (not even sure??): when we came in and gave our name (Burton) he mistook it for another party under Barton and tried to seat us at a table with a man that was already sitting down. I repeatedly told him, “no, this isn’t right” and he just seemed utterly confused even though we made it clear the name was Burton. Nobody really greeted us when we came in, it was more of a “oh hey, follow me…”. Not very fine dining if you ask me…

And I will stop there. It just was a BAD experience. I hope it’s not normally like this and from the reviews it doesn’t seem as such. I also noticed they may have been down a bartender which made things super hectic. I get that, when a staff member doesn’t show it can throw the whole service off. I do wish to return and I do hope they see this and plan to amend it in some sort of way for my Aunt as she was thoroughly disappointed because she picked out the...

We had a great night. There are quirks as well as gems in this place, but it’s all character and we really enjoyed it.

We went for the ‘Opentable’ set menu through The Fork which advertised:

“This preset menu includes: Amuse-bouche du jour + Les hors d'ceuvres + Les plats princjpaux + Made for sharing + Side dishes + Bread basket Pre dessert de la maison + Les desserts and drinks.”

You may be forgiven for thinking that all of the above would be ‘included’ for the set price of £45, but yes that would be far to good to be true. Included in the price is 5 courses; Amuse-bouche du jour, Hors d’œuvres, Plats Principaux, 1 bread basket (2 small slices of baguette each with plentiful anchovy butter), Pre desert de La maison, Le deserts, and one glass of Cremant each.

All of the sides carry an extra charge, as do all of the ‘Made for sharing’ dishes… Also if you need more than two small slices of baguette each, you’ll need to pay extra.

Thankfully when we asked our waitress to explain the ambiguous pricing, she happily obliged. We stuck to the 5 actually included courses with one additional side between us and we did not go home hungry… although a little more bread in the basket would have felt less stingy, and hugely useful for soaking up every last delicious drop of our Amuse-bouche; the most amazingly tasty cup full of mushroom soup. The anchovy butter accompanying the bread transported me to the fishing harbours of Boulogne. There was far more butter than our four baguette slices could take, so we kept the remains on the table just in case, and it was useful.

For my hors d’œuvre I ordered the Yellowfin tuna tartare, avocado purée, tomato & basil concassé with sesame wafer. It was fresh and uplifting to begin with, but by the third spoonful I was missing something. The tuna and the avocado needed a little more acid. Neither the tomato nor the basil were quite enough to give it the punch it needed. Maybe some capers would have done it. As nice as it was to eat, it was just… ‘nice’. I did finish it and I didn’t complain because it was good quality food, and very healthy too, but it was bland. There was also a 20min wait for food when we arrived so I was pretty hungry.

I was treated by my dining partner to a taste of her Twice-baked St. Maure de Touraine cheese soufflé, with beetroot sorbet which was out of this world. It was the comfort we were looking for on a cold winter evening. I was considering requesting it in place of my desert and had major food envy. Well worth the supplement!

Next were the principaux as well as the side of ‘sautéed spinach’ to share. Both mains were perfectly cooked. The spinach however didn’t appear to be sautéed. It appeared more wilted. Obviously this was not a dealbreaker by any means and it is where our saved anchovy butter came in handy.

I went for the Selection of Artisanal cheeses, red onion chutney & cheese biscuits, 4pcs. When only three pieces of cheese arrived, I did ask for the fourth as advertised, and any extra if they were feeling generous. I received five pieces which felt more appropriate for the £9.50 supplement. Unfortunately neither my partner nor I could agree with the red onion chutney. She likened it to cigarette ash. It reminded me of the liquid in my waste food caddy, not that we consume either very often.. We chose not to offend the cheeses with it and left well alone. I rationed the five Carrs water biscuits to last as long as possible across my now five pieces of cheese.

The service was warm and friendly, and the restaurant busier than expected. It was a little unusual to not wait at the counter by the door to be seated, but having read previous reviews mentioning this, we knew to seek the assistance of the busy floor staff, who found us a table right away.

Would be go back? Yes please! (If they’ll...