The Slaughtered Lamb — Restaurant in London

I booked a table for 10 people for drinks and nibbles on a Wednesday night. 'Dinner' wasn't listed as an option on the website, but the food menu said food was served until 10pm, so I naively booked it thinking 'nibbles' is food - what could go wrong! I received a booking confirmation and to be honest I didn't open and read the email, it said it was confirmed for 10 people and I was really busy, so I was content with the confirmation email.

When we arrived, it was very very busy and we were shown to our table for "10". It was crammed in the corner with only 4 chairs. Confused we asked at the bar, the guy was trying to be helpful and said he'd see if he could find more chairs. Then a woman came over and instantly started shouting at me. Very confused, I said "we booked a table for 10 but we only have 4 chairs". I wasn't rude in the slightest, but was welcomed with even more shouting. In an attempt to help, my friend tried to talk to the woman, but she still continued to aim her aggression at me (even though I wasn't saying anything). I can't even explain how confused I was by this point, it was very surreal! After a lot of one way dialogue; " that area can easily fit 20 people", "chairs aren't guaranteed", " I can show you the email", "we're not even serving food", "if you attack me, I'm going to attack back" we decided to leave and find somewhere else - we really just wanted to sit down, eat and get a drink.

I felt bad as I knew I hadn't read the detail in the email but I also never thought you'd be able to book a table with no chairs! Especially when it doesn't warn you on the website when booking it. It is one of our usual lunch pubs but after the experience, not one of us would go back. There was no attempt from the staff to help us find a solution, and I honestly think the woman just wanted to shout at someone and we (mostly me) were the unlucky ones. We spent a lot of money somewhere else, so they missed out.

Long story short, don't make the same mistake I did, you may have booked a table but that doesn't mean you get chairs. Also don't expect good customer service!

If the owner reads this - put a warning on the website so people realise before booking a table that they don't get chairs, and maybe re-train some of your staff to what good (or even average) customer...

"A Culinary Marathon, But No One Told Us to Bring Snacks"

Imagine ordering a plate of croquettes and steak frites, and then being told to just sit back and relax… for the next 90 minutes. The kitchen here doesn't rush—it's more like they’re actively avoiding the concept of time. You could go out, run errands, catch a nap, and maybe even solve a Rubik's Cube, and your meal would still be halfway through the "preparation phase."

The croquettes? Well, they’ve clearly taken a few personal days. Crispy on the outside and as elusive as a unicorn on the inside, these little guys apparently need more than a little TLC to get just right. Maybe they were waiting for the potatoes to tell them a secret before they could be fried.

As for the steak frites? It’s like the steak had a philosophical awakening halfway through cooking and decided to question the meaning of life. Tender, sure. But I’d swear it was cooking in slow motion, like it was trying to be the meat equivalent of an existentialist novel.

There’s something poetic about the way the kitchen lingers, like they believe good things must truly take time. But when you’ve been sitting for an hour and a half, that poetry starts feeling like a punchline you’re not quite getting. Is it culinary artistry, or did the chef just forget you were there?

Verdict: If you're looking for an experience that teaches patience and the art of contemplation—go ahead. If you're hungry, just bring a snack and maybe a novel...

While Clerkenwell is gifted with an ample selection of pubs The Slaughtered Lamb is my favourite. Split across two levels it offers a tasty food menu, outdoor seating, open light filled space, music gigs (in the lower ground floor) and an efficient bar staff. Like most pubs in the area it can get noisy and busy at peak times but it is also an oasis of calm during non peak hours.

The crowd is mainly locals and after work groups with the rare visit from tourists. Drinks wise it caters to beer drinkers and whiskey drinkers including a good selection of ales, stouts, ciders, lagers wine and a choice of seven no alchool / low-alchool drinks and spirits. Their wine selection is on the thin side but they cover the most popular varsities of white, red and sparkling.

The service is efficient but rushed. The bouncer at the door is relentless about keeping people from spilling onto the road during the summer due to the steady transit of cars on the road.

The closing times vary across the week - 12AM Monday to Wednesday, 1AM Thursday to Friday. 12AM Saturday,...