Square - Slices & Pies — Restaurant in Newcastle upon Tyne

Whilst herbally refreshed and very hungry, ordering takeaway food in the digital age can very easily be exciting , confusing, frustrating and incredibly rewarding all at the same time, and so it proved on this fateful Saturday.

After delegating one of our number to 'just choose something, anything' we settled on the delights of FEDs chicken emporium. The promise of tea brined fried chicken in a bun with a hash brown and american cheese proved too much temptation to resist. Two of our group made their choice pretty quickly and we passed the digital chicken portal along to the third and least decisive. A debate ensued regarding the volume and variety of side dishes required with our order which was eventually resolved by proceeding with the highest estimate of consumption.

On confirming our order with the digital chicken portal, disaster struck. In our zeal to perfect and finesse our order, we had missed the deadline for ordering and the kitchen was closed! A wailing and a gnashing of teeth ensued. Apologies and commiserations were exchanged. Heads were shaken in disbelief.

We gathered our wits and forged on with our mission. We would not be denied. The digital chicken portal was redeployed and repurposed, and on our next roll of the dice we alighted on the delivery menu for Square. A consensus was reached. a whole pizza, half and half with some waffle fries, and enough dips to banish the sad memories of the fried chicken that never was. We placed our order. Sucess! Our groaning bellies would soon be filled.

After a period of anxious waiting with several checks to ensure that our order had been successful and would soon arrive, we were rewarded by the sound of the doorbell. We laid the table for dinner and began our meal.

On first glance, we were confused. Had we accidentally been delivered some piece of conceptual art in a well designed cardboard box? Had the Baltic started to dispatch prints from its shop on Deliveroo? If this was indeed the promised pizza, it was a far cry from the kebab meat and pepperoni offerings of our younger days. The base was completely invisible beneath the mountains of vibrant and plentiful toppings. Roses of an ethereal white substance blossomed in regular patterns on the surface, each lovingly spinkled with a lusty red coating of chilli flakes. A delicate chiffonade of herbs brought natural colour, balance and an impression of some nutritional value.

At this point it would have been easy to become lost in blissful reverie, but the imperative that had carried us this far overrode all of our other instincts and we fell into a silence only punctuated by crunching noises and the occasional groan of delight.

When future generations look back on this time and perhaps wonder what we were doing, whether any of us were aware of the looming crisis or indeed prepared to take action, to fight for a better future for our children or our children's children the answer will be plain.

No, but some of them made great strides in serving delicious takeaway pizza, and some of them wasted their time and energy writing lengthy google...

I’m somewhat of a regular customer. But not for long, sorry. So the first time I ordered I loved it. I would go around saying it was really good. However progressively the quality has gotten worse.

For pizza, it is expensive at £4-5 a slice compared to nearby places that charge much less and £24-£27.50 a pie. For the price you would expect the toppings to be a lot less sparse! The second last time I went, the pizza was almost sickly because it just tasted like sauce. Furthermore, the manager charged me extra for no reason. Unfortunately, I didn’t realise until I got home but I do have the receipt alongside my bank statement to prove it. I’m just a student and this was a treat to my brother, who didn’t even like it because of the quality, so to be charged almost £30 for that pizza felt like a betrayal. It’s also awkward because the manger seemed to be flirting very loudly with one of the staff members and neither were very friendly or attentive.

I went for what I believe will be final time for the special they have, which is birria. As a British Mexican, I was excited, but honestly the depth of flavour was awful. Obviously I wasn’t expecting anything authentic but it could have at least had enough salt and made the caldo tasty and not taste like kebab shop chilli sauce. I hope they make changes and I might be back again, but for now I’ll stick to...

Visited on 22 May at 7pm.

It’s a small pizza place with not a lot of seating. The only seating inside were bar tables but they had regular tables outside. Wasn’t a problem for me.

Ordered a half & half pizza of Bada Bing and Lola’s Classic. Both flavours were not bad but I do like Lola’s Classic more. It’s a take on a cheeseburger flavour pizza which just works! Bada Bing was pepperoni and sausage with whipped ricotta. I did enjoy the texture of the pizza initially as it was crunchy like a focaccia. But as the pizza started to get to room temp, it became much harder to chew and it really gave my jaw a workout. I didn’t really care for the cheese crust as well because I found it hard to eat as it would scrape the roof of my mouth.

Overall, I would say the flavours are decent but wouldn’t necessarily be my first choice for pizza...