Kens Kebabs & Speedy Pizza — Restaurant in Portsmouth

I was reading reviews for this place and I thought "Surely it can't be that bad". So I decided to give Ken a chance. To let his delightful food fill my empty stomach with joy. To be enlightened by the glorious tastes. I couldn't wait to try. The food in the signs looked so appetising. The faded imagery and signs that looked like they hadn't been replaced in years was a fantastic indicator for the wonderful tastes that I would never forget. However, I was to be disappointed. The staff member looked about as miserable as if he were attending his mother's funeral. And the minimum £5 charge for paying with card was slightly irritating. The seating inside was falling apart and the menu boards looked as broken and old as if they were in a zombie apocalypse movie. I ordered the cheese and pineapple burger. However I needed to order fries as well to make the order £5. My girlfriend ordered the chicken doner kebab. What ensued was probably one of the worst eating experiences of my life. The chips were as soft as rubber and tasteless. They were also cold and I had to go home to warm them in the microwave and add salt to make them edible. Having to cook your own food from a takeway is never exactly a promising sign. I never knew that Ken's had a "cook it yourself" option! I was also sorely disappointed by the lack of pineapple in my "pineapple" burger. We must be having a pineapple shortage right now. I trust Ken's judgement as he is omnipotent after all, so I let it slide. I love the trick they use to make ketchup last longer. Adding water to ketchup to make it last longer is the idea of a genius. It must've been a ratio of 1:1 water to ketchup, which I find impressive. However it had the unfortunate side effect of making my burger as Portsmouth Harbour. The grease certainly didn't help make it any drier and much time was taken afterwards to cleanse my fingers from contamination. The chicken doner kebab that my girlfriend ordered wasn't much better. It didn't help that the chicken itself had the consistency of porridge and the flavour of yummy yummy oil. The vegetables were good though, so I give Ken props for that. Although it's not exactly difficult to make cold vegetables taste bad... Afterwards, I felt... violated by Ken. As if I was robbed of my hard earned £5. And this is for the cheap burger. I'm honestly scared to imagine what "Ken's Special Belly-Buster Burger" tastes like for example. I shudder at the thought. In my opinion I would advise to spend your money elsewhere. If you're reading this review, you've been warned.

10/10...

This is my second review for Kens. 6 years ago I visited and left one star after the horrendous food I was severed. Yesterday I attended at 3am on a Sunday morning as I had just finished an exhausting shift without any food and Ken's was the only place open I could find.

Two staff members were inside and cleaning the kitchen and the sitting area, as I entered I was greeted and go be honest I thought they were going to say they're closed but with a smile the sever said "have whatever you want" I ordered a mega meal deal which includes a chicken fillet burger, chips, chicken strips, hot wings and a piece of chicken plus a can of drink for £9. Good deal right. Ordering this at 3am on a Sunday felt like a rude thing to do but I was starving hungry and they happily had the whole order ready for me in 10mins. The chips were genuinely 10/10, and everything else was as you expected, not Incredible but definitely hit the spot.

May I emphasise the place was spotless, the stainless steel in the kitchen was shinny clean and the floors not a rouge chip in sight. I think Kens has genuinely improved for the better and I think everyone who used to avoid it by a mile should maybe give it one more chance. My 1 star review was in 2018, you can make a lot of changes in 6 years, I think Kens is an...

Just about the worst burger joint I've ever had the displeasure of visiting, and I eat anything normally. Customer service was poor, even speed of service was below standard. Please be warned who ever is reading this, the chicken used is old, I don't know how old, but its a muddy grey colour and 2 days later I am still having stomach issues. Chicken burger is grey and tastes like pure oil and has been refried as other reviews have said. Same with the chicken strips. Chips were also refried. This isn't just my opinion, 9 of us had cycled from London and wanted to grab a bite to eat before leaving for home. Now imagine 9 hungry cyclists after cycling 90 odd miles, we would have eaten anything and been happy with it, but we couldnt finish it and we all commented on how bad the food was. Oily and refried.

This place might be alright for the local drunk louts who haven't got two braincells left to notice theyre practically eating rat meat, but for normal humans this 'food' is shockingly bad.

Untill they change their staff or their practices, beware. Trust the reviews, unlike me!!! Or go...