Tsing Tsao Chinese Fast Food — Restaurant in Des Moines

As I finished my meal, I opened my fortune cookie. It reads:

"You have tasted the bitterness, as well as the sweetness of coffee."

This has no relevance to my review, but this fortune cookie was indeed the most enjoyable part of my meal. Let me explain why.

For context, I ordered the mongolian combo, empress chicken, an order of pot stickers and and order of crab rangoon. At the time of writing this review we have suffered from negative degree weather for several days. I am cold. I am hungry. All I want is a hot tasty meal, and to take a nap on the eve of christmas eve.

Right from the start I was concerned for my order, as the food ready a bit -too- quickly. As I wrapped my cold fingers around the large paper bag that held my order, I inhaled deeply the smell of....paper bag. Something was wrong here. My Chinese food did not smell overwhelmingly of Chinese food. Arriving home, I opened my container of crab rangoons to see 4 of the most pitiful, miniature, square (yes, square) crab rangoons I have ever laid my diabetic eyes on. Biting into a crab rangoon was a terrible experience - extremely chewy, it wasn't very full, and what it was full of was overly oily and bland. So oily that it sprayed out of my mouth and onto my face.

I feel dirty writing that.

Disappointed, I opened my order of pot stickers. Once again. Extremely small for what I paid for. Each pot sticker had very little taste, and did not have the texture I desired. You know how a good pot sticker is crispy on the sides but soft as well? These were just crunchy and awful, with a meaty center. Kind of like eating a bug. I should not think of eating bugs when eating Chinese food!

Next was my empress chicken. Let it be known that the chicken was incredibly soggy, and the rice it came with was festering in a pool of... I don't know, soy sauce? I think? Nothing tasted right here. It tasted like the rice had a long day at work at a hot summer job, sat in a bathtub for an hour, and that's what I was consuming. The dirty remains. And somehow, the crab rangoon that came with this meal tasted uniquely awful in comparison to the individual rangoons I had eaten prior. Seriously. I have had crab rangoons a million times better that were sold frozen from Sam's club.

With my meals came two small bowls of egg drop soup. Egg drop soup that somehow tasted and smelled of nothing but a wet paper bag. Sip after sip, I couldn't tell if I tasted nothing or something off about it. Both of my roommates were actually amazed - impressed, even, with how bland this soup tasted.

As of writing this, I have yet to try my mongolian combo. And quite frankly, I don't want to. This is the most bland, depressing Chinese food I have ever had. I would probably get a better tasting meal by eating my own cat.

Because the first fortune cookie was exploding with flavor compared to the entirety of my meal, I ate the second one. It reads:

"Love is the glue that holds everything together in the world."

I would rather eat glue than eat...

This is the BEST Chinese fast food place in the entire DSM metro. And here’s why:

The restaurant itself is very basic, but this is fine. There are tables and booths which are comfortable. It is CLEAN, and doesn’t smell. The staff is very friendly and even talk to you! All the food has such strong flavor compared to other Asian cuisine restaurants around here. Even the rice seems better! It all just tastes... Like you’d expect! Not bland and boring or so-so like most others nowadays. Each time (my 3rd visit here today) my chicken has actually been cooked properly - done, but not too done so that it becomes stringy and chewy (has this become a new standard or something???). Well not here! This cook(s) - spot on every time. For $9, I got a full plate with my entree (again spectacular chicken cooked properly and flavorful), great tasting fried rice, an egg roll (better than decent), one crab Rangoon (which is sad, because theirs is sooo good and creamy and tasty; I could eat 10!), a large tea cup of hot and spicy soup, a fortune cookie, AND my fountain drink!!!

Before I even finished paying, another worker was putting my soup on the table to be waiting for me. I had a choice between a can of soda, or the fountain (8 Coke flavors), and I could even choose between a standard restaurant-washed cup or a disposable! I loved it. On the table, there is everything I need - I hate having to go find or ask for condiments! But I have soy, sweet and sour (with a spoon to pour with!), either a mustard or duck sauce (also with a spoon), salt and pepper, sugar and sweet and low, And.... wait for it... Plenty of napkins!!! Not even in those crazy dispensers which are always over-filled and tearing your napkins, one by one....

When my food arrived, it was HOT, and even served on more traditional-looking serving dishes, complete with a saucer and Chinese soup spoon. Once I got done eating, I felt full, and my tastebuds had experienced all the flavors and tastes they wanted. I didn’t have to get up for anything, and had everything I needed right at the table.

It was CHEAP, fast (the soup beat me to the table and the entree was only about 45 seconds after I got my drink), a good atmosphere, nice staff, clean, and just very... satisfying. Yes, that’s what shocked me here all three times. I left each time and couldn’t find a single thing to improve, let alone complain about. When the hell do you find that any where anymore?!! So try it. You’ll be back! I drove 18 minutes from the Jordan Creek area to come here - for my very LAST MEAL in the USA, before I fly way to my new home in Europe. Yeah... it was that good and important to me to come just once more.

Thanks Tsing Tsao! Don’t change a thing. You don’t need fancy paintings and fish, Asian music, pretty glasses, or fancy seats. Sometimes, just a friendly and clean place with nice staff, and awesome food is...

I'm sorry I have never had a bad experience with your establishment but tonight was terrible you guys are awesome I mean your PR is the greatest you guys serve people with smiles and good attitudes everyday and that's kind of hard to do in your line of work but your food has gone downhill and you need to check your vegetables especially your broccoli that is hard and old and the egg drop soup I don't know what you guys have done to it but you have changed the recipe and your Cooks aren't doing their job I don't know if I will ever come back again and I've been going to your establishment for well over 19 years I'm sorry I just don't think I can go back again I'm sorry I have to add to the statement I bit into your egg rolls and it is nothing the Cabbage nothing but grease came out of it and it was ice cold inside come on you guys used to be so good what happened I can't even eat this food and for $18 now I'm going to have to find somewhere else to get my Chinese food and I don't want to do that I just tried one of the potsticker what is going on with your snap judgment it's nothing but grease they're not even closed up like they should be the inside was falling out and it's cold I knew when I came in there and they made my order it took them just a little bit too quick 3 minutes to make a meal like this and they call that good I call it a grease pit I don't think I'm coming back in fact take the one-star away and give you a negative five you guys have never ever had food this...