Chipotle Mexican Grill — Restaurant in Ferndale

Slowest moving humans. It feels comical, like they are doing a bit. When I got there just now I was the only person in line. Guy behind the counter doesn't acknowledge me. He's slowely wiping his line down. REALLY slowely. Like slower than just taking his time. If I tried to move this slowely, even if I thought about snails the whole time, I don't think I could do it. Finally the counter is clean and he shuffles over to the sink to wash his hands. He lathers for a full minute like he's getting ready for surgery. At this point I'm doing my best to hold back laugher. I'm not some kind of Karen over here. I've worked in restaurants and bars for 20 years. This is just hilarious to me. As I look around I notice that the other workers are more or less equally sloth like. Does this chipotle pass out benzos to each worker as the clock in? It's a hypothesis. At some point during the lathering process another worker approaches the counter. Oh okay, maybe this is the guy, I think, and so I say hi to him. He also doesn't acknowledge me. Apparently he's just there to look at the food. He's a different department. Okay cool. I am extremely patient and so this is fine. After a lenghthy gloving process worker #1 speaks. "You want something?" he says. After that its the normal drill until we get to the register. He pushes my bowl toward the register but then walks off. A full minute passes as I stand there. There are 3 workers talking to each other at the table behind me. Worker #1 is still aimlessly standing nearby. "Does uh... anybody do this part?" I ask. He tells me that yes, someone does. Eventually that someone appears, and accepts my payment allowing me to leave. Truly remarkable. I'm not even saying I blame these workers. Probably they're underpaid. Man when I was 15 years old bussing tables I worked like the wind. I worked like I was being chased by the devil for 5.15 an hour. We all did. 15 year old me could easily replace 3 of these guys. Maybe offer twice the pay and hire real restaurant workers? When I say a real restaurant worker could replace 3 of them I'm not exaggerating. It would be a net gain. If whoever owns this farce reads this you should think about it. Watching these guys move at a pace so slow that it must be intentional is...

If you’ve been feeling too high and mighty lately, pay a visit to this Chipotle to be humbled. I don’t need the staff of an establishment to act like I’m their long lost sibling who just came home from WWII as they kiss me on the forehead when I enter the building and tell me a bedtime story as I wait for my food. But this Chipotle location will have all the patience evaporating from your body and your hand shaking involuntarily as it dials the number for corporate as if possessed by an entity who will not sleep until she speaks to a manager. The staff here are genuinely disgusted that you came. Like I said, I don’t expect chipper ear-to-ear smiles - which is good because you’re going to get the stark opposite here. The portion debacle at any Chipotle has been a blood bath for years. But the staff in Ferndale will sling your bowl of 70% lettuce and 30% sadness down to the register and leave you standing like a yuppie clenching your $9.58 + $3.00 tip while 3 different employees walk past you for 5-10 minutes. When finally, one surly attendant takes pity on you and approaches the register, there’s no “hello”. Just “Barbacoa bowl?” in a gruff drill sergeant tone. And you can forget about grabbing a shred of napkin or dirty fork to shovel your food into your hot hole. See pictures below. You’re eating with your hands tonight, baby. One positive is that they are certainly consistent. Consistently dreadful. Today my order came with a complimentary hair in my bowl. But I’m sure this had nothing to do with the woman preparing everyone’s food with her knee length hair flowing freely in the breeze. This place is dirty, messy, crusty, and dusty. Do yourself a favor and visit the Chipotle in Royal Oak. I’m not sure why that one somehow has an even worse star rating than this one, but I promise they take at least a tiny bit of pride in...

If I could give zero stars, I would.

My experiences with this store have been consistently poor. Time and again, my partner and I have tried to order from this location, only to be disappointed.

When I visited this location this evening, I was told that I was unable to order a burrito in-house, due to the fact that the tortilla press was currently being serviced. Ya know, things break; and that's completely understandable.

What's not understandable is that the store was still making burritos for their online orders via a second tortilla press. Seeing that no one was in line behind me, I asked that the attendant at the counter waiting to take my order simply grab a burrito tortilla from the second food prep line. I was promptly told that burritos were only available for online orders, and that grabbing a tortilla would not be possible.

I would like to impress upon whomever is reading this the absolute absurdity in the concept of being denied a burrito from a Chipotle restaurant, when all the ingredients to make said burrito are available in the store. I am literally trying to buy your product, a product that you have the ingredients to make, and I'm being told "no," because I didn't order online? Accessibility issues aside, that is insane.

I asked the worker again if I could get a burrito using one of the available tortillas. She was about to oblige my request, when her coworker interjected from behind not to fulfill my order and reinforced that it's "store policy" that burritos are only available online.

I walked out, said some choice words, and I will not ever be returning to this location.

(Yes, the fact that I'm being a total Karen is not lost upon me right now. But this store genuinely needs a lesson in customer service or a change in...