The Farmhouse at Jessup Farm — Restaurant in Fort Collins

These five stars could easily be for the service. Courtney, our server, was lovely. Far more delightful and entertaining than her role requires - an excess of charm and humor. The entree was also quite nice, well deserving of praise. Sadly for them, however, I must devote most or all of these five stars solely to one single solitary item from the menu:

Biscuits.

I'm a person who, I guess you could say, is sort of passionate about and/or a connoisseur of biscuits. I am well aware of, and, I'd dare to say, highly sensitive to the spectrum of quality that any given biscuit may land upon. So when I tell you that these biscuits took me on a buttery out-of-body experience, I hope you will believe me and give some credit to my assessment.

Just from seeing the biscuits, I could tell something was different. These are puffy, puffy, really puffy. Verticality is what I'm talking about. He is risen.

The first bite? I can't say that I know from experience what it's like to be in the arms of an angel, but after tasting it, that's the only way I can describe the flavor and accompanying religious experience. Freud would call this the "oceanic feeling." In Buddhist or Hindu traditions, maybe it could be called "samadhi." I would describe it as an interdimensional carpool lane on the butter highway. Interdimensional. I have to say it was the best biscuit I've ever tried.

I also bear stains on my pants from the delightful multi-berry compote, which was provided on the side for dipping and smothering.

While eating this biscuit, I embarrassed my entire family. I made a damned fool of myself and created a freaking mess. I howled in disbelief-ecstasy and I didn't even care what anyone thought because I knew this was a peak experience, and no one could ever take that from me.

Courtney told me that these biscuits were crafted by a level 9 butter wizard named Sage. Sage only accesses our dimension to populate it with biscuits. This comes not from necessity, but from a deep sense of enlightened benevolence and compassion.

I'm not a religious man, but if Sage wants to start a cult, I will join it in less than a second. There are only two things in this world I can imagine truly worshipping: one is my dog, the other is a plate of these biscuits.

I hope you enjoy them as...

If I could give this place half a star....

That would be giving it a compliment. As far as restaurants go, I have never been more disappointed. Overpriced, overcooked, small portions, and to top it off, poor service. There were 2 good things... the setting/building is really cool, and I liked the lack of options on the menu.

Food review: My wife ordered the Fried Chicken (which came highly recommended by our neighbor). For $20 I expected at least 1/2 a chicken. I even asked the waitress if it was a lot of food so I could eat what my wife wouldn't finish, and I could order something different. Instead, she was presented with what appeared to me to be a child's plate, although it wasn't. A small (very small) leg and a small thigh (very small), a small spoonful of grits, and a biscuit... my wife did say the biscuit was good!

I ordered the pork chop... good, but not $25 good. I think they were more concerned on the presentation of my plate than actually preparing a $25 pork chop!

The kids... get ready to stop by chic filet after your meal so the kids don't get home and immediately ask for a snack! We had a kids hamburger, which was more like a golf ball size slider, and a kids chicken and biscuit, which was a biscuit (which happen to be burnt) and a single chicken strip.

Both the fried chicken plate and the chicken strip were over cooked and had very little meat. We had asked for a side order of mac n cheese to be added prior to our meal coming out, and we didn't get it until all of us were completely done eating, which with the portions they serve, doesn't take that long.

To top off this visit, it was my wife's birthday. I had mentioned it to the hostess when I made the reservation. The waitress even mentioned it when she asked for our drinks. Before bringing our check, she asked if the rest of us would like to see the dessert menu since she was already bringing something for my wife. We said no thank you, and waited... and waited... and waited. She then brought us our check, thanked us for coming, and invited us back... no birthday dessert as she had mentioned earlier.

I don't think I would go back here if I was given a free meal. Very...

Poor business ethics, poor food, poor choice. This place has consistently gone down hill over past year. Management needs to get a grip on the staff or this will be another Fort Collins restaurant casualty. We dine here at least twice a month and recently the food, service, and overall attitude has gotten very sub-par. Start with our last visit where raw chicken was served to a table next to us... How does that even happen? The gentleman host constantly over states wait times because the kitchen and service staff are so incompetent they cant keep up with a simple 20 tables... The menu and meal prep are always changing slightly and the even the same meal will vary from cook to cook. There's just no consistency in the food or quality. We've sat and watched the host effectively lie to incoming customers and tell them 45+ minute wait times, with 4-5 open tables in the seating room, just to chase people away. We've then watched the next customers who are willing to wait be seated within 10 minutes, again with open tables the whole time. BS on the "we're holding that table for a reservation"... We sat for 45 minutes and the table stayed empty the entire time. Why are you even taking reservations on a Saturday morning anyway? That's just bad business. Lucile's (one of the busiest and most successful breakfast joints in town) will never take reservations. First come first serve only. There is never an empty table, always a 15-20 minute wait, and they just crank out great food. There should NEVER be an empty table when you're telling people 45 minute wait times. Ownership should be outraged about how much business they're losing just with that poor behavior. You guys gotta stop trying to reinvent the wheel. How is it possible with 5 kitchen staff members that you cant send out fresh scrambled eggs instead of watery pre mixed garbage? I'd get it fixed guys. You're one adjacent competitor away from trouble. There's lots of places to chose from in Fort Collins. Mediocrity doesn't do well here. Kudos to the tattooed redhair waitress who seems to be the only one left in this place that does...