River House Pizza Co — Restaurant in Maryland

My oh my..... so, one of the weirdest chain of events regarding pizza I have ever encountered. Our journey starts with a bunch of other liars, or possibly sociopaths that put things like banana slices on their pizza, posting reviews on yelp regarding this local pizza joint. Because, clearly, no sane or honest person would give this place higher than 3 stars. After regrettably believing the hype, we ordered two pizzas for delivery. "A river runs through it" and "Backyard Barbeque" were their given names, however I shall grant them the honorary titles of Frankenstein and Casper. Please refer to the photos attached regarding the reasoning why. After placing our order, our clearly agoraphobic delivery driver spent several minutes collecting himself and deciding whether or not he had the fortitude to make the trip. We are aware of this particular fact because the lovely woman from the questionable pizza factory called us to let's us know he had repeatedly "pushed back the delivery" in five minute intervals. This time was directly related to his actual time for pick up at the factory. And, methinks this was due to inner turmoil at the prospect have to go "outside" again. Well, he finally made it, not agregiously late, but a fair bit past the time he was scheduled. That's when the really weird stuff started happening. He acted as if the two pizzas were nearly radioactive and refused to assist in dislodging them from their experimental shielding protecting the driver. He left, clearly looking as if someone had taken literal years off of his overall life span from the stress of seeing yet another new person. Now on the pizzas themselves. Frankenstein, was the clear winner in the "Guess what the eff happened to your pizza" costume contest, but Casper put up a solid showing in the "why does your pizza taste better when the flavor is hidden by flour" competition. These were the obvious manufacturing defects that came from the factory. But, what really troubled me was the haphazard and "clearly in direct violation of OSHA laws" manner in which the sauces were applied to these pizzas. Looking at their menu, I can only assume this is purposeful and meant as a defense mechanism. Like a frilled-neck lizard, they hope to distract you from the truth hiding behind their dastardly caomoflauge of "artistically" applied condiments. And the truth is, almost nothing about this experience was positive. That being said, in honor of what was the death of at least two pizzas, I ate all of Frankenstein. They will be missed. Casper had to just accept his fate and move the...

I really wanted to like this place. A truly local eatry with its roots in Old Ellicott City. I'm sure if I got it to go I would have a better experience. But alas I dinned in so 3 stars.

First big problem is parking. Not directly the fault of River House but it's still a huge problem. The parking lot is way too small for the number of restaurants in the shopping center leaving little to no parking.

The resturant is also not really designed for dining in. There are about 6 tables in the entire place. Drinks are either bottled soda or canned beer. Getting water means bothering the staff who is busy making the pizzas.

We ordered 5 pizzas. Four 12 inch (The river runs through, margarita, bbq, and tomatoe slices) and one 8 inch (White). We waited probably 20 minutes for our pizzas. The wait was most likely attributed to phone orders and a family that ordered before us so I won't knock them for the wait. However when they did bring our pizzas they only brought our 4 of them. The other hadn't even been put in the oven. Which highlights the biggest problem with the resturant. They only have one oven. Providing quick service is not possible if they have multiple orders.

The quality of the pizzas was fair. The flavor profiles were very good. The biggest problem was the center of the pizzas were soggy. A combination of greasy cheese and an oven that just isn't got enough casued the middle of the pizzas to simply not hold up.

The prices simply don't make this a worth while plex to dine. 5 small pizzas 2 beers and a bottle of soda came to $80. Across The street at Roma's or Beef Brothers you can feed the same number of people at a fraction of the cost with what I would consider...

I will start off by saying that I am not from the area. I stopped here on the way home from a long car ride. The place is tucked away in a somewhat strange shopping center of many Asian restaurants, which I must admit, had my expectations set pretty low. Upon entering, the young lady behind the counter greeted me and was very friendly. She handed me a menu and I stepped aside to look it over. I only looked at the pizza section, which was neatly organized and well designed. It was reasonably priced, as well. Around $11.5 for a 12 inch pizza. You pay one price for the size of the pizza, the cheese pizza was just the same price as the chicken and jalapeño pizza, which was nice. I ordered one plain, and one pizza with jalapenos, red onion, chicken, and sour cream. The same young lady came to my table and offered me a pitcher of water, which was very nice of her. About 10 minutes go by of watching some younger men toss and spin the crust and cook it in the wood oven, and my food is brought out. The crust was very crisp and nicely charred upon visual inspection. After digging in, the pizza was very light and crispy. The sauce, oh my, the sauce! It was one of the best pizza sauces I have ever tasted! Very light, well seasoned, and home-y tasting. The toppings were great, as well as the cheese. A nice blend of several cheeses. My overall experience was fantastic, I would 100% return with family if I am in the area again. Thank you,...