Bless Your Heart Burgers 33rd Avenue — Restaurant in Portland

ADV Biker/OTR Trucker approved

I brought my appetite to here and it almost wasn't enough. I got the signature "Bless Your Heart" double cheeseburger and fries. I came here after reading an article about the best local burger in every state, where this place was featured for Oregon.

As luck would have it, it's close to home. Why not give it a try?

It was a greasy, soggy, messy meal as one should expect a burger to be. The name of this place is apt, as it's very much a cute, cheeky warning of what you're getting into. I was offered a fork with mine, which I accepted with trepidation. Although I didn't use it, neat eaters will definitely want one.

Despite that, it was very tasty. The fries were perfectly balanced between crispy and golden brown. It's rare for me to not want to use ketchup or fry sauce, they were that good.

It was $26 (with tip) for my kingly feast. Now this king needs a nap and a run on the treadmill.

Oh, a word of advice, get your order to go. This business is not located in a great neighborhood. It's had it's ups and downs over the years, but that's not this business' fault. As a local, it's always been like that. So yeah, get it to go unless you want to be approached repeatedly for...

I absolutely LOVE this place! IMO, best burgers in all of Portland!

I also tend to despise slushies, but not here. The Negroni Slushy is to-die-for, and I sometimes dream about it. My dining partner usually orders the Cuba Libre Slushy, which is also amazing, but on this visit he tried the Mint Julep Draft which was equally amazing! Cocktails are all $9.95 but worth it, very strong and well made.

Menu is small but all components have been thoroughly thought out, and I don't personally believe anything is lacking. There's Beer Cheese Sauce, Ranch, and Chili sides... everything I want for my burgers and fries!

Burgers are thin, crispy on the edges, and sloppy. This may not be your perfect burger if you like them thick and rare. But I grew up with burgers like these, and they rival and surpass my childhood memories, a near impossibility!

Fries are skinny and crispy. Always crispy, never underdone. Yay!

Full service if you sit at the bar, Evelyn is a super friendly and amazing bartender.

I've been coming here since shortly after they opened, and when I crave a burger, this is where you'll find me. One of those secrets I've avoided posting about, for fear I'll lose my spot at...

Wait time is excessively long compared to just about any other half dozen smash burger joints around. My coworkers and I used to frequent here 4 times a week for lunch, the wife and I about 2 times a week for dinner and now we all avoid this place for lunch and dinner due to the 30-40min wait times.

The staff here almost always says it will be a 15-20min wait and it has never even been close to that time.. literally not once..

The food is pretty good but just not great enough for the ridiculous wait time and pretty over priced burger compared to nearby competitors.

This last visit we placed an order at 11:50am, said it was would be ready at 12:15pm (25 minutes later). However when we arrived at 12:15pm the staff told us they would get started on it but it won't be ready until a 12:20pm pick up.

So realistically we waited 30 minutes for two burgers that took 4.5 minutes to make, when only one customer arrived after us and there wasn't a single other ticket on the line other than ours and the customer that came afterwards??

Very poor food business design, will not recommend or have good...