Michael's Italian Beef & Sausage Co. — Restaurant in Portland

I've only been to Michael's once, but I like to think my visit was representative of a "typical Michael's experience."

For months I'd passed by the loud autoshop-style mural emblazoned on the rear of the building, thinking "that place probably has good sandwiches." A few weeks ago I was in the neighborhood and had a couple hours to kill, so I decided to stop in. Note that I planned to spend a "couple hours" in a restaurant I've never been to; some places simply can't withstand this brand of expectation.

Thankfully, Michael's proved a more-than-suitable environment to enjoy a decent sandwich and be ignored for an extended period of time. Before walking in, I had visions of a deep, chilled fluorescent case filled with exotic meats, an off-white menu above the register with those little sticky black letters, a big analog clock. I quickly re-calibrated, taken aback by the sparse shabbiness of the counter area and the surly woman behind it. It's one of those restaurants where you enter and aren't quite sure they serve food. Nervous, I ordered a full Italian beef sandwich with hot peppers (I wanted a "typical Michael's order") and a Coke, needlessly informing the counter girl I'd be taking my food to the little wire table outside. Alas, it was nice out - but quite warm enough in the shade! Even if it had been 85 and balmy, though, the right choice is to stay inside.

Michael's interior is a long, musty trapezoid - a "shotgun diner," if you will - but the lightplay within is phenomenal. At the far, west-facing end, a wall of wavy translucent glass bricks stunts the otherwise intense late afternoon rays, yielding a soft natural glow to the dining area, which competently juxtaposes a row of vinyl-lined booths with a set of stools and a raised island. These stools are lined up towards a large south-facing window, ideal for people-watching, and shielded from direct sunlight. There was a guy sitting at one of these stools, beatific and impenetrable, looking like he didn't want to be bothered - I chose a booth. I love eating in booths alone, and given the low volume of diners, I didn't feel any pressure to leave.

The sandwich was moist and savory, and the pickled celery a unique accoutrement. I ate rapaciously: this is always the case when I attempt a read-and-eat, as the chewed-up juicy bits in my periphery never fail to distract me from the page. And I was well accommodated for the post-beef comedown: the dusky, low-hanging diner lamps are neither too dusky and nor too low-hanging, and Michael's crappy beige-red-and-blue scenery was just boring enough (I attached a screen-grab of their website, a very good representation of the shop's aesthetic). KMHD filtered softly through the speakers - not sure if jazz is always the afternoon's soundtrack, though I doubt Michael would endorse anything...

Disgrace to the former business and Michael himself. As a long-time patron of the previous establishment, it is incredibly disheartening to see this restaurant in such a state. The location is terrible. The parking is limited. The bathroom is... not good. I remembered the Michael's of yester-year, with its "DO NOT REACH" sign hanging near the counter along with plastic knives and zombified hands to keep kids from reaching over the counter... the 35mm pictures and Polaroids of families eating... the drawings and color sheets from kids admiring the food... the large parking lot with ample spaces... the endearing hand-painted signage throughout. We entered this new location and it was dark, stale, no smell of food cooking. All the flat tops were off. There was some inappropriate rap music BLASTING over the speakers. I couldnt find a menu and I could barely see anything in this place. It was a bewildering experience. The older woman behind the counter didn't greet us but whispered something to me. I don't have great ears, and I couldn't understand her over the flippantly loud, blaring gangster music. She repeated herself louder, saying that the menu was at the cash register. She was a bit short and not very pleasant. We looked over the menu and ordered a classic sausage sandwich with grilled onions and peppers like I used to order with my old man. I was eager to show my husband what the food was like growing up, how wonderful the sausage and onions and peppers smelled coming off the flat-top. But the food came out of a microwave. Lukewarm. No enticing smell. It was at this time I noticed the bread was scattered around the restaurant, left out to become dry and stale. Again, not a single grill was fired up. And this is 6pm on a Saturday night! The restaurant was EMPTY! We took our food and left. The sandwich was nothing like what I remember enjoying with my father for years. Bland, uninspiring, and just plain small. The sausage didn't have that same "snap" my dad used to always rave about. The hoagie wasn't crisp and freshly toasted. The peppers and onions were about a quarter cup of each, finely chopped. The way I always recalled them was large and warm, freshly-grilled, and juicy beyond belief. The sandwich wasn't horrible, but come on, it was microwaved instant food. Comparable to Subway. My dreams of enjoying the legendary Michael's sandwich are crushed. Nearly 25 years of enjoying the amazing food led to this depressingly sad end. I will never return. At least I can put the memories with my father to rest along with him. Goodbye, Dad and goodbye Michael's. Goodbye memories of the legendary Chicago...

This is not Chicago style hot dogs or beef sandwiches period. If you like it, great but this is not Chicago style. Mostly the issue is the breads used and toppings. The beef, sausage, aus ju and gardinera are actually really good, and I'm told they make them there. The sausage is especially good so props to Micheal's for that.

The bread is a poor substitute for what should be a simple but well made french loaf with a firm flakey crust and airy insides. Instead it's a chewy french style roll, no crust to speak of, and it tastes like it was made with milk and I'm pretty comfortable saying Chicago's two big bakeries, Gonnella and Turano, are probably using a simple recipe of water, yeast and salt.

Oh and then they use the same roll for the hot dogs which is just wrong, wrong, wrong. It throws the meat to bread ratio way off and they seem to over compensate with a larger diameter hot dog. This throws off the meat+bread to toppings ratio. If they even made it with the right toppings.

Stone ground french mustard? No. Toppings on a Chicago dog are very specific, with very few exceptions. Some restaurants have their variants like Superdawg adds a pickled green tomato or Gene and Jude's only topping with yellow mustard and onions. Then there's places like Hot Doug's and Demon Dogs which have, or had in case of Hot Doug's, there own thing going but vast majority of hot dog joints, say 99% of the hundreds of them, adhere and understand the traditional toppings on the hot dog. Micheal's does not offer these. Traditionally, the only option for a traditional Chicago dog is these little green spicy peppers called "sport peppers" which the owner doesn't like so he doesn't have or make them.

Oh... Peppercinis and onion on a beef? No. No. No. You get options of gardinera for spicy and/or sweet peppers which are cooked green bell peppers. Maybe some mozz cheese.

So yeah...it's decent on the meats for Chicago food but everything else makes it an embarrassment to Chicago. I don't know if they lease their Chicago Red Hot signage from Vienna Beef Co but Vienna should feel embarrassed for having their products represented by Micheal's and will hopefully have those...