Berlins Doener — Restaurant in Saint Petersburg

This is the Rouladen (one-day special item) with spätzle and braised red cabbage for $18 at Berlin’s Doener, my first time ever eating authentic German food.

Somewhere far far away, there lies a haven...a proverbial oasis where the people are kind, the gravy is thick, and the cabbage is pickled. You may not know how to pronounce what you are eating, but the taste and the smiles lull you into a sense of security. This is Berlin’s Doener.

Immediately upon entering, you are greeted by both of the owners and their jovial grins - the wife who runs the front of the house and the husband who runs the kitchen. Can the start of a dining experience at a literal mom and pop establishment be any more genuine than that? The server that took care of me seemed genuinely excited to meet me and the way she spoke about the food was spectacularly exciting. It was because of her that I upgraded my order by more than twice the cost, because when, and I quote, “Everybody here is eating the Rouladen today, it’s a fan favorite and if you want the true German food experience, this is the dish to get”....well...you get the dish.

Rouladen is made of thinly sliced beef wrapped around onions, pickles, mustard, and bacon; then positively drowned in gravy. I expected the beef to be similar to a sirloin and the insides to be tangy and flavorful with many interesting textures. I was surprised to find it was all soft and melded together into one overarching flavor that permeated the beef, making the beef more flavorful, but the textures less numerous. It seemed a bit more like a stuffed meatloaf. I do enjoy me some good meatloaf, though, and the gravy added a richness and earthiness to round it all off. My only concern was that it was clearly slow-cooked, but it came out about 5-10 minutes after I ordered it. No idea how they managed that, it the food quality didn’t suffer so I had no complaints!

This spätzle was comprised of noodles, chopped into 1-2 inch pieces, appearing to be freshly sautéed in a mildly flavored oil, making them go along very well with the stronger flavors of either the gravy or the cabbage. The cabbage was yet another surprise because the only “special” cabbages I’m aware of are either sauerkraut or kimchi, both of which are extremely tangy. This cabbage was somehow earthy and had a more subdued flavor - not at all overwhelming like the other two cabbages would have been for inexperienced foodies like me. When I did want a kick, there was a very large container of mustard sitting on the table that called my name.

The establishment as a whole was spotless. I normally don’t comment on that because cleanliness is expected but I literally saw not a single speck of dirt anywhere on any surface that I glanced at. Even the bathroom, as simple as it was, was spick and span. I also love how they maximized the very limited space behind the restaurant, making it an actual pleasure to eat there despite the fact that it’s only yards away from a major road.

A quick trip to their Facebook, unlike most other business social media accounts, gives you an actual reason to follow the page. Their special dishes, which can not be found on their regular menu and are constantly changing, are a wonder to behold to someone like me who only knows sausage of the Jimmy Dean variety. I don’t even know what a schnitzel is, but now I know where to go to find out how best to eat one! I can appreciate that they give the chef this opportunity to spread his culinary wings instead of just having him making the same doener all day!

I am very fortunate to live right behind this gem and I hope to come back many times. They have nailed down many of the tiny details that most other places don’t bother to put effort into. For me, that effort makes all the difference and it shows in everything that Berlin’s Doener has done. 5 out of 5 quacks for sure!

Tampa...

Came in for dinner after a long day at work, was told to sit anywhere I wanted to. Decided to sit outside. It took 10 minutes for the waiter to appear to get a menu. Most of the wines were sold out, so I ordered a glass of whatever wine they had left. After I placed my food order, and received it, the waiter never checked on me during the meal. He placed my bill in front of me never asked me, if I wanted dessert, and threw the bill down on the table, then came back to grab the bill assuming I had place my card in it. After telling him, I wanted dessert it took another 10 minutes to get it. In the meantime, a group of 8 walked in out back on the patio where, I was sitting to try to clear a table that hadn't been cleared in 10 minutes. As they tried clearing the table themselves they broke a beer lager glass on the concrete. I waved a waitress down to inform her of the broken glass, her response was I'll bring a broom when I can to clean it up. She never returned with a broom and the group sat there still waiting on someone to clear the table, and bring them menus. No one came for about 10 minutes, and when they did, no broom in hand to clean the broken glass on the concrete, or to clear the table, but drop menus off at the table and leave. Again, the restaurant wasn't busy. I'm still waiting on my bill, and no sign of the waiter to be found. I get up from my table to go inside and pay. Meanwhile the group at the dirty table with broken glass on the concrete decide to go inside to order because the waiter disappeared. As, I'm standing in line to pay, I spoke up about the poor service rendered to not only me, but the group that sat at a dirty table with broken glass on the concrete, and told them it was unacceptable behavior to service the patrons in the establishment. I told them they were working harder not smarter and as a former waitress myself, I was ashamed of how they ignored a dirty table, broken glass, and making people wait because their disorganization was wrong. Apparently I hit a nerve to the staff, because I complained. A waitress finally went out and cleaned up the glass after 20 minutes of me telling her it was broken by the table outside. Only, because I complained, and she hustled out to clean it up! Excuses were made that your system was down, and that's why, the glass wasn't cleaned up, the table wasn't cleared or my bill brought to me. I was also told I'd understand once I ran my own restaurant. Again, poor excuses for the unacceptable customer service provided by your staff. I was told to leave the building after paying, while a staff member held the door for me and as, I walked past her she screamed at me 6 foot rule, did you ever hear of that! All the while her mask was below her chin the whole time, and threatening to call the cops on me. I, just want to be clear. I have run my own business and, I would NEVER treat any customer the way your staff treated me tonight! You should look at how you should and could do better not only as a business but as a team, because what, I experienced tonight was terrible customer service. I will not be returning here, and I will spread the word by mouth not to patronize your establishment! Truly, sad because your food is pretty good, but your business...

TL;DR: This is a fast-food, to-go place with high prices and bad food. Also it’s very hot inside.

I have no idea what restaurant all these 5-star reviewers went to but it wasn’t this one. I don’t know where to start but let’s go:

Walk in and they ask you to look at the beer taps to pick your beer. No beer menu. Sort of disappointing but whatever, not everywhere is Mr. Dunderbaks. Beer selection was weak but at least German themed. Waitress was super nice and friendly but didn’t know beer. She also identified a liter as a pint and a half liter as a half pint. Hilarious, but it should have warned us to leave. This place is like a fast-food, to-go restaurant. Not a “nice” place for dinner. More like a quick grab-and-go spot for a bad lunch. Their QR Code menu isn’t complete and has THE WRONG PICTURES AND PLACEHOLDER TEXT HAHAHAHA. Again, should have been a sign to leave but we already had a “half pint” (half liter) of beer. The food here is bad and can be expensive. My fiancée got the doener sandwich, which was reasonably priced. But that lamb was like small pieces of burned chips of wood. Bleh. I got the jagerschnitzel and my god it was laughably bad. Check out the picture I included. That plate with two little soggy fried pork chops costs $17! (Came with fries, not the cabbage and Spoetzl, those were extra) Are you kidding me?! Shame. Shame on you for calling that a schnitzel. Also bacon in your jagerschnitzel gravy...come on. Over powers the whole thing. This place is hot inside. Like real hot. Probably because of the giant heat lamp they have over the counter in the dining area. That giant pretzel was a huge disappointment. The whole thing was way too overcooked and hard, with some parts burnt. We asked if the cheese it came with was like a beer cheese (because we didn’t know) and were told it was. It wasn’t. But to their credit they took it off the bill. Finally, the staff. Listen. Our waitress was nice. She was wrong about the cheese and the pints/liters. But she was very friendly. But the staff as a whole...were entertaining because all they did was complain to and about each other. One waitress was very overwhelmed and we got to hear about that as she vented all of 7 feet away from us. Love it. The drama. The passion. The lack of decorum.

One last note. I see the owner likes to clap back at bad reviews. Sir and/or ma’am. I assure you. You could not insult me more than you already have with this pathetic jagerschnitzel.

PS Almost forgot the best part! While we were eating someone had food delivered to them from the IHOP next door. Hahahaha. Probably the best food...