Taco Bell — Restaurant in South Carolina

For one to take the time to write a review of an establishment as fine as Taco Bell, the food/service must be either absolutely stellar (an unlikely outcome) or the complete nadir of established culinary norms and expectations. In this case, I confess, I have reached the latter.

The Taco Bell rang hollow for me today when my food arrived in what can only be described as a breathtaking manifestation of deafening mediocrity. In my unassuming, optimistic belief in the basic humanity of those around me, I ordered a Cantina Chicken Bowl. I even spoiled myself by paying a little extra for additional chicken. Now, I am old enough to know that life is full of disappointments: sometimes we have to fly business class, and sometimes Edna isn't available to fold my underwear. However, I am also cosmopolitan enough to know that not everyone enjoys the economic elegance of being able to afford Taco Bell, but it stands to reason that when one orders a Cantina Chicken Bowl with extra Chicken, one receives a Cantina Chicken Bowl with extra chicken.

Alas, no. As I opened the carcinogenic plastic container in which my grade-D food was less than carefully collated, the MSG-laced seasoning and chromosome-altered "vegetables" tantalized my nostrils. For a moment, it seemed that Taco Sniff was a better name than Taco Bell. But then the ring of taco happiness resounded as I slowly stirred the contents. I was on a mission for the highly processed and highly desired double chicken.

I found it. Staring at me, evenly, eye to eye, lifeless in its double irony, two pieces of chicken glared back at my dismayed face as the wilted purple cabbage winked and the lettuce giggled. I had been duped. I had paid for double chicken and gotten two pieces.

"Two pieces of chicken?!" I exclaimed. "Two?!" I experienced an array of emotions. First I was gobsmacked, then I was angry, then I was impressed, then I was disgusted. I've decided to settle on sadness. Perhaps the teenager who arranged my masterpiece of colonial appropriation was a statistic and never learned what the word double meant. No one at Taco Bell knows what chicken really is, so it seemed like a reasonable conclusion. However, this felt dark. This was Edgar Allan Poe-level deception. This purloined plate was clearly the scheme of some mastermind fast-food employee set on ruining hardworking people's lives. Whoever you are, you succeed. You managed to ruin my day and further dispel the last remaining hope I had for humanity. You have won.

I will not order from Taco Bell again. I can't deal with this kind of disappointment.

For those who might proclaim, "no pic, no proof," I dare not post the picture of this blackhole of a banquent for fear that its shocking bareness be perceived as food pornography. Children do, after all, visit the Bell of despair that is this particular Taco Bell...

Not sure what's going on with this location, little mistakes here or there when they first opened were to be expected, but it's been long enough now for them to have gotten the hang of things. We stop by this location 2 days ago and I was unable to upgrade my drink to a large because they didn't have any large cups. Today I picked up a mobile order and was promptly informed that they didn't have any tea, or hard taco shells. I allowed them to substitute soft instead and got a Pepsi zero. When I got home I was pleased with how well put together the food was as it has been quite sloppy from this location before, and the toppings were not skimped on. However, the meat was cold as if it had not been heated up yet. The potatoes were also very cold, and the texture was similar to if they had been cooked several hours ago and or yesterday and then reheated and left to get cold before served. And... The sauce selected on the mobile order was missing. These types of issues don't bode well given you can drive a couple miles into Red Bank to another, well seasoned location, especially when there is never ever more than one person in line so it isn't bc they are slammed. Can't really fathom a good...

I love this Taco Bell because they actually have stuff in stock, get your order right, are fast, and have customer service. We drive out of our way to come here instead of the Taco Bell in Lexington. The food is Taco Bell so there’s not much more you can do to make it better but when it’s late and you’ve been drinking it’s what you crave

This is an update on my review for December 20: The service was extremely terrible which I was overlooking since everyone has bad days but what got me is when we were handed our order the young lady we were waiting for the rest of our food and the lady rudely said “it’s all there at the bottom of the bag” while we were trying to check our food. We ended up leaving to get out of her way but surprise we were missing a large amount of our order. When I called to get a refund the lady said we needed to drive back tonight in order to get a refund. So we’re supposed to waste our time, our gas, and eat cold food because they mess up. When I informed them I wasn’t wasting more money she...