The Hills of Rivermakers — Attraction in Brisbane City

Welcome to The Winery That Time Forgot, where tables aren't booked, cocktails don't exist, and wagyu beef is just a figment of your imagination. Buckle up, folks—this is the tale of our misadventure.

First, booking a table was like entering a legally binding contract. If you’re late or don't show up, they’ll take $25 faster than you can say "grape juice." I called twice to confirm my booking, leaving messages that apparently went straight into the void.

When we arrived, the bar lady greeted us with the same energy as someone hiding from a debt collector. After a few awkward phone calls and us standing there like unclaimed luggage, it became obvious no table was booked. No worries, we grabbed a couch. Problem solved, right? Nope.

We scanned the QR code menu, and my wife—dreaming of a fancy cocktail—was told they couldn’t make any because “children were present.” Apparently, children in this bar have a magical ability to banish cocktails into the ether. They did offer her a Sprite, though. Meanwhile, I searched in vain for a non-alcoholic beer, which apparently was also banished by the kids. Curiously, we later saw other patrons enjoying alcoholic drinks. Guess the kids had clocked off by then.

Undeterred, we ordered food: fries, calamari, "Wagyu" skewers, and arancini. When the food arrived, the waiter went on a scavenger hunt to find our table, asking everyone in the room if it was theirs. I waved at them a few times, only to have our food slammed on the table with the grace of a WWE wrestler. The arancini almost escaped onto the floor.

Cutlery? Side plates? Napkins? A distant dream. I asked a waiter, who nodded like I’d just told him the meaning of life, then vanished into the abyss. My wife spilled my drink, and our attempt to get paper towels turned into a game of charades with staff who didn’t seem to speak or understand English. After much gesturing, the paper towels were finally delivered... by a marketing guy with a mop. Shout out to this hero—he was the only competent person there. If it weren’t for him, I think we’d still be waiting for napkins.

The food itself was... an experience. The fries were good. The arancini? Great. The calamari tasted like rubber bands, and the "Wagyu" skewers were about as tender as my gym shoes. Spoiler: they weren’t wagyu.

As we left, we saw the manager yelling at a young staff member. Ah yes, nothing says “we’ve got this under control” like public berating.

Pro Tips for the Winery:

Train your staff—starting with how to find a table and use cutlery.

Let grown-ups have cocktails. Kids don’t care what’s in your glass.

Stop holding bookings hostage with threats of fines.

Final Thoughts:

If you’re in the area, save yourself and head to Bulimba. This place is like a Shakespearean comedy—if Shakespeare wrote about overpriced wagyu and spilled Coke. The one star is for the marketing guy. Keep fighting the good fight, my...

Headed over today as I was excited to visit this precinct as well as taking my children to the Jurassic safari event that was advertised from 9am-5pm. Although it is a beautiful location, the event advertised was very misleading. First of all, the parking was a nightmare as people were trying to jam their cars into every space they could find. This later caused havoc as I was trying to leave the car park around 11.15am, I got blocked in by a 4WD who banged on my vehicle & verbally abused me, demanding I move immediately. I had already explained I was parked in the correct spot from 9.20am & the other vehicles who had blocked everyone in had obviously parked there much later & shouldn’t have as it had caused a traffic congestion. The organisers should have known the Jurassic event was going to attract a lot of visitors & the makeshift dirt carpark should have been monitored & had signage in place to avoid people parking wherever they wanted. I had strolled around from 9.30am looking for a Jurassic themed set up & didn’t see anything except a desk selling dinosaur merchandise. The reptile show was rather dull with little to no interaction from staff. The petting zoo was advertised on social media as having a $2 entry fee, however upon arriving it was $8 per person & $2 for a cup of feed! This is misleading. We ate gelato which was delicious but skipped the food offered there as it was rather pricey. We kept looking around for the Jurassic event & I noticed other parents were looking around too, only to get told nothing was happening until 2pm! Why advertise 9am-5pm when there wasn’t a single dinosaur related event happening until later in the afternoon. I was very frustrated with this & decided to leave as my children were not going to tolerate waiting until then when we had already been there since 9.30am.

The playground kept closing due to reaching capacity (I had walked past 4 times)

I understand it is a new precinct & it will take some time to work out some teething issues, but when you advertise things for a certain time or price, please honour it otherwise you will end up with very unhappy visitors unlikely to return.

Not a single staff member were positively interactive or around to notify visitors what was happening. After speaking to other parents who came for the Jurassic event, they felt the same.

I really wanted to enjoy this place, especially with how hyped up it has been on social media, but after today I’m going to give it...

Met my friends there today, yes on a super windy day! 😂 But we didn't complain since this destination has been hot online with many influencers. The whole venue is designed is quite modern and functional. We found a few cafes and restaurants to choose from.

My friend and I walked around the venue and see what it was like. Not surprising, that not many visitors, we thought it was a weekday and a windy day.

We visited the kids play area first, and the two kids were excited to find out what it was like. I was hoping I could purchase a coffee and wait while the kids playing, after seeing some tables and chairs aside. But nothing sold there which was fine. Maybe we missed the sign, but the lady at the door only went to our kids not to play after they already in the play area with shoes off. She could let us know earlier, as the shoe cabinets was just at door. Anyways, we left with no comments, thinking she must had too many kids to look after?

The we visited the restaurant that had three level stories, but unfortunately we were told that site was closed for today. So we chose another one. My friend and I ordered separately, and only 2 mins different we paid for our order from scanning the QR code on the tables. During this time, my friend went to get some water since there was no one came to our table and asked if we need anything (about 10mins with asking kids what they like).

However, my order didn't show up after my friend probably nearly finished hers, and my child finished the onion rings from our order. So I tried to get some staff to ask, the guy was nice and immediately he went out of the door and to check in another kitchen? (They have another kitchen! We found that when seeing a lady brought some pizza boxes from outside to some customers). After a few minutes, he came back and said he couldn't see the pizza order on any docket, and asked me to show him the order receipt and he took a photo of my receipt. And guess what!? Magic! My pizza was served by the lady came to me with this guy together, with one minute! How amazing!

However, the disappointment was there was no apology or any explanation for what happened. My child and myself states to eat while my friend had her empty plate. How embarrassing.

The service definitely needs to be trained, and make sure the order dockets are checked properly. And especially on...