Woodbine Mall & Fantasy Fair — Attraction in Toronto

I don't love this mall because it is a good mall, or it has desirable or high quality or even a good variety of stores. I love this mall because it is a bizarre and surreal walk into both the past and the mind of what an 86 year old woman from Wyoming who's been to europe the one time in her 20's would deem to be classy and "in good taste". Plotted circular prints of medieval and Renaissance art randomly splattered across the ceiling of the first floor. An Italian restaurant who's name sign lost two letters and thus it changed its name, neither of which made a lot of sense, but plastering a stretched out picture of an Italian fountain all across the first sight you see upon coming in through the main entrance was a surefire way to attract customers. Older signage across the entire mall pointing you in the direction of the last Sears in Canada that doesn't exist anymore. A major furniture retailer overflowing with unsold inventory to the point where their first floor has been effectively turned into a warehouse, sharing its fate with some of the actual stores that now inhabit the mall as off brand liquidation stores effectively turning what would otherwise be the shiny sales floor of a branded overpriced store into your local hub for factory discount and knock-off cheap-ish products which are still more expensive than the ones found at the dollarama hidden just one hallway away but these cheap candlesticks have personality. All of this crowned by the development plan for a future expansion and real estate development which was to accompany the mall plastered all over every possible high visibility and massively sized wall, promising potential investors a utopia that will return on investment harder than Korgs privates right before he jumps into the lava pool, contrasting with the bitter reality of a halfway built casino in what appears to be a suspended build site right nextdoor and the desolate landscape of all the empty space next to the two mid rise apartment buildings that actually manage to stand next to this halfway dilapidated reminder of the idea that physical retail was going to somehow make a comeback after the age of the digital marketplace as anything other than a showroom or the interior design's version of a fitting room for people not lazy or anxiety ridden enough to actually get out of their homes once in a while and go for a nice stroll through an antiquated concrete structure housing nothing but the ashes of an age gone by, it's fate sealed in empty space and low shopper traffic by an airborne virus spread the world over from a city that will never know about the splendor or the feeling of basking in the absolute liminal nothingness that slowly eats away at this mall's very 2017 hopeful for the future existance. And if all of this wasn't enough, this mall is host to it's own indoor version of an illegal parking lot carnival fair whose main attractions are the broken down animatronics making almost wheezing noises as if holding on to dear life if only because they've all been cursed never to die until the Ferris wheel stops being broken and the children can actually enjoy the ride meant to shine smiles and happiness upon their cold inert faces. So if you ever feel like exploring an inert yet melancholically overwhelming part of the city, come visit the...

I'd really like to just say "I LOVE Woodbine... it's perfect, just the way it is!!!". To be honest, I really DO love Woodbine Mall [for the most part], so far at least... I haven't actually been to the fair grounds [yet😏]... I'll update whenever I do.

The entire property is aesthetically pleasing, but the fair grounds really catch your eyes upon approach [whether day or night], even from a distance. It's almost like it's pulling you in, making you feel like you just HAVE to go check it out!

The shopping mall is another beauty in it's own right, both inside & out. The parking lot section for that side of the property is well constructed- smooth, spacious & appropriately arranged, with an adequate number & placement of wheelchair accessible spots. There's also a convenient drop‐off/lay-by, as well as a wheelchair ramp, right in front of the entrance/exit- which is a wide layout of about 6 doors combined, that includes multiple points of automatic wheelchair access. Inside the front section of the mall: there's a beautiful open air section running through the centre of each level- letting in natural light and showing off a beautiful water feature, with lots of little plants & a big tree. It's all REALLY beautiful to look at [though my dumb a$$ was a lil disappointed to realize the foliage was fake 🤦🏾‍♀️... it was kind obvious tbh... it makes perfect sense that it would be fake 🤷🏾‍♀️]. Anyway, I LOVED being able to see the sunlight while still being fully covered inside the mall. #BestOfBothWorlds 😁 As for the shopping experience: throughout the mall you'll find a wide selection of amazing stores, in every category & price range- so, no matter who you are or whatever you're budget, there's something there for everyone! Also, nearly every store has either an ongoing sale or multiple discount sections... some stores also have FREE WiFi for customers. Then there's a Kiosk that rents Ride-Along Stuffed Toy Animals for kids- but they're big enough to fit 1 [average-sized] adult + 1 small child. It looks hella fun!... that's one way to keep the kids entertained during a family shopping trip. Sadly, I wasn't able to make it through the WHOLE mall 😔, cuz I'm disabled [using a rolling walker] and could only do so much walking in one outing. Which brings me to my complaint/suggestion: there appears to be only ONE set of elevators & restrooms in the entire mall!😳 [...or maybe it's one per level 🤔... tbh, I'm not sure 🤷🏾‍♀️] Anyway, the restrooms are clean, well-stocked & wheelchair accessible... that's great. But what's NOT great is struggling to lug my disabled a$$ MUCH FURTHER than I was actually able to go, just so I wouldn't p¡$$ myself in public!!!😖 It really would've been much better if they'd had 1 or 2 more restrooms [per level], and had them placed at more strategic points [per the whole layout]... instead of forcing people to go halfway through the mall before they can relieve themselves.😒 An additional set of elevators might also improve accessibility, but that's less of an urgency tbh.

Bathroom woes aside: I enjoyed my trip to Woodbine, got lots of great stuff, and can't wait to...

How far this has fallen. I decided to do something fun and count all the stores that were owned by one company/person, and ones that weren't. 29/27. 27 of those stores are brands like Ardenes and Mobile places (Best Buy Mobile) while 29 of them have only Cash as payment options, are stocked with the same stock you'd see in every other one of those stores, have no overhead music playing, and are unmanned. It is the most surreal experience I have ever seen in my life. These stores are either tax break havens or a front.

The fair is still there, probably the only thing making this mall any money. The rides are "running" and the dinosaurs are dying. Employees bored out of their minds just sitting in the tea cups waiting for the sweet release of death. On top of all of that there were old signs up everywhere regarding old long dead sales, many stores with stuff in em and the lights on, but not open, even more stores just holding amazon merchandise for the big liquidation store upstairs, empty jewellery store, which was open but had nothing on display. Many of these places are carbon copies of each other. A store called Two of a Kind across from a place called Three of a Kind. Multiple stores that only sell "clocks". You can't make this stuff up. Very weird place. Shame what happened to the mall, but this place ain't gonna be standing for much longer I reckon. The worst part about all of this is that movie theatre inside this dead mall. It's a nice movie theater all things considered, reclining chairs, alright screens. Best part of the...