Simon Cabaret Phuket — Attraction in Patong

A glitzy and entertaining drag cabaret experience in Phuket, about 75 minutes of non-stop musical numbers. We booked VIP tickets to get a great view of the stage. Overall it was a very fun experience. Amazing costumes, great dancers, very creative takes on some musical numbers. There was a focus on representing different music and dance styles from various countries. Some of the acts promoted themes of inclusiveness and body positivity.

Some of the choreography could have been tightened up and there were a few moments where it seemed like the scene change was too quick or a bit awkward. The opening number was a little corny but the rest of the show was very good. There was also a pop song in Russian set to a metal gear themed stage. It didn’t bother us but if you’re boycotting Russian culture for some reason (like, oh, maybe a ‘special military operation’ that’s been going on for two years in which a dictator wages a war of aggression against a smaller country while gaslighting their own population? But I digress.) then be warned.

We also appreciated the staff’s efforts to discourage phone use during the show. This is difficult for many venues especially after Covid. It might be a good idea to tell people at the start that they can wait until the final song to take photos and videos, which they did just before the final song.

Bad audience behaviour is unfortunately widespread these days. On this occasion we had a couple on one side talking throughout the show and five women in front of us making a lot of noise while a child about ten years old spent some of the time moving left and right across the row of seats in front.

After the show we exited through the side door and past the parade of performers asking for money in exchange for photos. We were happy to do this but it has clearly come as a big surprise to some visitors. We paid 600 THB as two of the performers next to each other posed for selfies with us. It’s a fine balance between showing appreciation for the dancers and being a money-grubbing operation to bilk visitors of their cash when they’re unprepared. At the moment it’s a bit more of the latter...

My travelling companions and I had high hopes for Simon Cabaret, but unfortunately the only good part about this show were the gorgeous gorgeous dancers and the exquisite costumes. I’d recommend seeing an earlier show before the performers are tired by the end of the night; we saw the 9pm show and were pretty disappointed by the messy, simple, out of sync choreography. The first few songs had us, with the original numbers of “Siiii-mon, Siiiiii-mon”. However lost us with the 5 culture-themed songs that were fun at first, then had us wondering if this would be the whole show. The middle few had us back briefly. But definitely lost us with the “Wrecking Ball” music video style segment where most of it was just the girls humping the stage. Two highlights were absolutely “Bad Romance” and the beach song, as these numbers actually followed a plot! Our favourite however, was the plus-sized performer with the country number. She had the most energy and charisma of the whole entire night! It’s a shame this diva only gets one set right at the end, as she was absolutely our favourite… Honestly I’m not entirely sure our mediocre experience was entirely due to the actual performance. The crowd was absolutely silent. It’s clear none of these people had ever been to other drag, burlesque, or similar types of shows before. Finally, for a show relying solely on looks of the beautiful dancers and the dazzling costumes, a bit more heart needed to be put into the lip syncing. I guess it’s our fault for expecting something a bit more camp. It’s a shame the performers didn’t seem to be enjoying themselves, and perhaps that reflected in the audience. It’s definitely not the worst way to spend a night in Phuket, but it’s not a “must see” by any means. I think it might also entertain those with limited theatre production experience, or those who aren’t familiar with drag. I’d recommend popping an edible beforehand, as the overwhelming colours and lights and beautiful women would at least...

Brilliant. Very high quality acts, one after another for more than 1 hour. Very talented artists: gorgeous, most were great dancers, superb costumes and makeup, and a lot of different beautiful sets. Honestly it was really really good value for money. I loved the show, I can’t even pick a favourite act but my highlights were the Bollywood number, Beyoncé’s single ladies, Vogue and Spanish-style Bad Romance. But really every number was great!

At the end the performers were lined up for pictures, which you have to pay for. Don’t get upset about this, just make sure you have enough 100 baht notes if you want any pictures. When we went they asked 100 per person (so if you’re 2 people it’ll be 200) for a couple of pictures. I see a lot people complaining about this in other reviews. Clearly they are just not knowledgeable about drag shows. Just make sure to pay, it’s the most normal thing: it’s their artform, it’s not free! The entrance price was for the show, pictures with the artists are not included. It’s like expecting being allowed to go backstage at a concert just for buying a regular ticket. Any Queen from RuPaul will ask you money too if you want a picture after a show, and not just 100 of 200 baht. So people calling it scam please calm down, you sound ignorant.

And don’t get me started on people commenting about how it’s not appropriate for kids… you’re the parent. You decide what’s appropriate and what’s not to your kid. Don’t blame the show for your poor judgment! It’s up to you to decide what’s ok for your child and what isn’t and act accordingly. The show in itself had in my opinion nothing inappropriate, but to each their own. There are some very sexy moments, but I mean.. it’s a Cabaret! It’d be weird if there weren’t any. Just FYI, I saw some families and they all seemed to have a great time.

Anyways, to wrap up, I highly recommend going if you enjoy cabaret...