House of Torment — Attraction in Austin

Been coming here for years. 2023 will be our last.

On 3 occasions by 3 employees, we were asked to leave prematurely or rush through the Haunted House so that the employees could leave sooner.

With an hour until close (which is doubly ample time to get through all of the attractions), on our FIRST run through of the FIRST house, the green haired Gen Z'er said, "alright listen up, faster y'all get through this house the quicker I get to go home, and I WANT to go home andddddd... go!"

Having had 2 pleasant experiences in 2021 and 2022, naturally, I had built up excitement for this year. I even recruited new referrals and talked this place up. What a let down. Almost like some sorry person ruining the last Avenger's movie right before the opening credits roll. Partially in disbelief, and partially to grant her a chance of redemption (to see if she was totally joking or not... and to solidify this moment writing the review) I repeated back to her, "the quicker we go through, the sooner you leave? So... you'd like us to hurry up for ya, essentially."

"mmhmm. I'm ready to GO!" The other employee in ear shot laughs and nods her head in agreement.

So, we half listen to them and half don't.

The inside of the haunted house is a 9/10, perhaps 9.99/10. There was boundless creativity, time, and effort put into these designs y'all. Spared no detail.

The actors, given it was 55 minutes until closing now, did a stellar job. One hair short of phenomenal. They had moaned and groaned and shrieked and contorted for nearly 2 hours straight and they gave us their best. Thank you!

So we get out right... we get an overpriced drink AND $7 shots of watered down, blue Liquid Courage, we go through the second exhibit as we are leaving for our last drink/ Haunt of the evening (while we are L I T E R A L L Y discussing being rushed at the beginning) are shoed towards the exit by an event admin.

I check my watch. I say, "Surely someone at the bar wants to make another few bucks. We have one house left sir. Waited all year for this one." He motions for a manager or similar, she tells us they're closed... while they aren't.. while people are still entering other houses. Anyways, after two pleas, she (through gritted teeth) said, "bar's still open." After donating another $70 worth of beverages to the bar stand, we go through the last one with sour tastes in our mouths nonetheless. Which was unfortunate because that one was the best haunt!

Actors 10/10 Details 10/10 Theme 10/10 Amenities 10/10 Square footage and bang for buck 10/10

Disposition of entry level employees and ticket tearers 1/10.

We all wake up each day and exchange our time and energy for a paycheck, wether you are facilitating trades for the NYSE, bandaging soldiers, or fiddling with glow sticks at a Haunted House, it is your obligation to give it your all. Please don't tell me to rush after we just paid your boss's boss's boss's boss $360 to get "scared" for 25 minutes. $14 a minute L O L. If, instead, I get scared for 90 minutes, my price goes down to $4 per minute. Let me take my time, thanks.

(except the bartenders and the security guard at the front. They...

The only thing scary about this haunted house is how much money we wasted. The only thing that will torment me is how that money could’ve been spent better somewhere else.

What a disappointment!!!

The kids were all excited about going but came out bitterly disappointed… With the higher weekend fee, processing fees, and taxes it was over $250 for seven of us to go. That’s a lot of money wasted and a lot of wasted time but I will never go back and hopefully I can save you from making the same mistake.

We went through house #3 first… It was so non-scary that my kids thought it was the line to get into the real haunted house. Then we walked out the exit and realized we were outside and it was over and none of us could believe it.

House #2 was about the same. They have a lot of cool props and scenery that they obviously spent a lot of money on but hardly any actors to scare you since you’re just walking in a constant line of people and not an individual groups, all the good scares happen to people in front of you and you see the monsters coming and what they’re going to do so there’s no element of surprise.

Finally we got to house #1 which had the huge line and we thought it would be the really good one. The line was so long and hardly moved because they let in all the people who pay the extra money for the skip the line pass first and the general admission line just stands around. About 20 minutes till closing the line started to move really fast. Sadly we would find out why really soon. they were no longer sending people by groups they were just letting one constant line of people walk through. There were only about 3 to 4 actors left in the entire haunted house…we were never scared or even startled and we were in and out in about 2 to 3 minutes.

Biggest waste of money ever. They have all these signs talking about being the number one haunted house in America…well they may have the biggest line and the worst parking problem in America but the experience is really lame once you finally get in the doors and spend tons of money to do it.

So...

I don’t think this haunted house park was bad by any means, but I was a bit underwhelmed with their performance based on how much they have to work with. Granted, my group did go at 7:30 pm on a Wednesday, so perhaps they were understaffed because they were less busy. That being said, each of their haunts are so big that I feel like there weren’t enough actors to fill that space. You could easily have fit 7 or 8 actors in each one, but I feel like two out of the three haunts had maybe 4 or 5. The actors themselves were also a little underwhelming. Firstly, there were only 3 actors roaming the grounds, and they have a very large area, so there’s so much potential for roaming actors. All of their costumes and makeup looked good, but the acting of the actors inside the haunts was a bit mild and not very interesting or particularly scary. This isn’t true for all, there were some that had some really good moments or were working in particularly challenging areas. In fairness to them, it probably isn’t easy to get those better interactions when your haunt is so loud and lights are flashing everywhere. That brings me to the sets and props. Overall, they all did look very good and they had some really cool looking rooms and animatronics, but I still have a few problems with them. Firstly that there was a ton of cool stuff to look at, but it was kinda hard to see them and appreciate them with so many flashing lights and strobes. Secondly, there was almost no order or theme to two out of the three haunts. The scenes were very confusing and didn’t really work well together at all. The only exception to all of these critiques is the witch haunt, that one was our favorite and had the most cohesive theme and the best actors, in my opinion. Overall, this wasn’t a bad experience at all, but the tickets were pretty steep for what we got and they have a lot of potential to be even better than what my experience was tonight with everything they’re working with. Might have to come back some other time;...