Hotel Guane — Hotel in Bucaramanga

Look, I'm not going to beat around the bush. If you take normal-sized poops, then you may want to stay someplace else. I speak from having trained myself over the past two days to become an expert drain cleaner. I never planned for this, and so I don't know what the market is for people with my skill set, though I have to imagine its fertile. You remember the lessons of The Karate Kid I am sure. Wax on, wax off. Paint the fence. Sand the floor. Well, now you can add a fourth lesson that will be an indisputable asset to your toolkit, "plunge up, plunge down".... Ok, so you're probably wondering why I would give them a 3 out of 5. Why not a 2, or even a 1, I mean, their food isn't that great, and the pool is cold. Well, for one, the drinks are cheap. So after a day that starts at 6AM when the hotel maid hands you the plunger wordlessly, and ends only after your body has personally contributed to the overall humidity level of the city, you can have a nice rum and Coke for a good price. In all seriousness, the Staff here are pretty nice, the rooms are large and clean, the TV screens are flat. It's a hotel that may be a bit past its prime. However, it does score ok in my "intangibles" categories.

My own rating system, scale of 1-5 stars --- Service With-a-smile (friendliness): 4 Stay Awhile (ambience): 3 Extra Mile (service/value): 3 Flavorphile (quality of meal/beverage): 2 Domicile (location): 4

Total: 3 Stars...

I would gladly return to this hotel but with the understanding that the internet does not work...except in the lobby. If they had simply told us that, it would have saved lots of daily questions of the staff. I believe that the rooms are being modernized one at a time. My room was clean and everything worked. The shower head was a relic from the Civil War where the inside of the head had long since disintegrated. A friend had a shower where there was an overhead rain type nozzle. The staff is the true attraction. They are beyond fantastic. If only they would invest in a reliable...

A very friendly welcome and introduction to the hotel. This is not a 4 star hotel in my opinion. It is a good solid 3 star. The rooms are basic but comfortable. The shower was excellent, apart from the empty shampoo dispenser. The pool is large and clean. The restaurant and other eating areas are fresh and new. Food was excellent. Wines are expensive in relation to everything else. Service was friendly but a little slow. Breakfast was excellent. While not everything was perfect I still rate this as a 5 star experience and this is my "go to" hotel in...