Camelot Castle Hotel — Hotel in Great Britain

The location is absolutely stunning, the food was great, the staff (generally) were very friendly and helpful.

It was really nice to be able to play the grand piano in the lounge. It's not often that staff aren't complete d*cks when you ask them if you can play. And it was a very nice piano to play. Our room was very warm and there was a darkly ominous howling of wind through the corridors (I actually enjoyed that part as it made me feel like I was in an M.R. James adaptation). The beds were very comfortable, though, and the view was amazing.

I had booked before properly checking the reviews so when a friend told me some horror stories she had heard, I was pretty nervous, but hell mend me for not being more thorough. Everyone is entitled to their opinions, of course, but the owners are really pushing their political views pretty hard: the portrait of a convicted rapist and fraudster (a guy called Donald Trump) in the reception area is one of the first things to greet you - along with lots of self-congratulatory pictures of the owner, some with celebrities who really show know better. There's also the hotel's own newspaper ('Camelot Castle News') which contains further self-congratulating as well as some unsettling scientology nonsense and a strange rambling article on why America is so great.

The weirdest part, though, is the artwork - as far as I can tell, it's all by the same artist and it's EVERYWHERE. Each to their own, but to me it feels a bit like what you used to find in Athena shops (for those who remember them). The Camelot Castle News tells us that the artist is surely one of the greatest living artists of our time. I don't think Banksy has much to worry about, though, to be honest. There were a couple of pieces which were pure propaganda - anti-vacc, anti-lockdown stuff that was jaw-dropping in all the worst ways possible.

Dinner was fantastic - although the music that was playing was pretty insufferable - some kind of Kazakhstan pop that made us feel like we were in a Yorgos Lanthimos movie. The "greatest living artist of our time" randomly appeared at one point and started working the room, chatting to guests, inviting them on a tour - which I had already discovered was a ploy to sell his art - the greatest art ever made - surplus pieces of which were exhibited in the basement, presumably along with the last member of staff who attempted to get a Covid vaccination. We...

I really don't like leaving negative reviews but I feel obliged to after our recent stay here.

First - the good bits. The staff are absolutely lovely and the location is beautiful (right on the coast). The sea views are quite spectacular and the interiors are also beautiful.

However, and I feel a bit harsh for leaving a 1 star review but there's just no other options really, we've never stayed anywhere before where we've felt more of an inconvenience. It was, hands-down, the most unwelcoming hotel we've ever visited and this is due in full to the owners and their behaviour. We were booked in for 2 nights a few weeks before Christmas 2024 and we're told on arrival that dinner would only be available from 18:30-19:15 due to an event. A bit inconvenient but fair enough, we thought. What it actually was is the owners are often in residence and make sure everything they do is prioritised when they are. So they had friends for dinner and therefore the kitchen (and staff) had to look after them exclusively. The owner walked past us in the bar where we were sat having a glass of wine and (without a word of exaggeration) rolled their eyes at us as he walked past. We didn't end up staying for dinner so we went out, but when we came back several other patrons we're in the bar unable to find anyone to serve them (they'd been looking for over half an hour) and were on the verge of helping themselves. The room was very spacious but the four poster bed creaked very loudly if you so much as shifted, and the duvet and pillows were all feather (some might like this - we both found it difficult to breathe). The ensuite in the room was clean but unbelievably small and felt something like a caravan toilet from the 80s in dusty pink (complete with ashtray by the loo). We struggled to sleep through the night as the owners guests were very loud and didn't seem to have any regard that there might be paying guests sleeping.

Because we had our dog with us, we weren't able to have breakfast in the dining room (no problem) but were also told there was no room service so if you wanted it you had to go down, order and wait for it, then load it onto a tray and carry it back up to your room.

Needless to say, we only stayed one night (the first time we've ever done so) and checked out first thing on the 2nd day. I would strongly discourage anyone from...

The owners of this hotel live there with their children and appear to use it as cheap accommodation to members of their movement - people like me are duped into paying full price having seen good average reviews. The only reason the average is as good as it is, is I suspect that those reviews are from people that have stayed there for free/at a reduced rate by association to their movement (i.e. Scientology).

Let's be objective: the location is stunning. Perfectly placed to see the castle ruins, footbridge, Merlin's Cave etc. The hotel staff are mostly very friendly and helpful - the ladies on reception were particularly good. From there onwards it falls to pieces - if you are paying a premium rate you expect a premium product. We chose the hotel based on a last minute decision to make best of the remaining school holiday. No family rooms available so we consciously decided to take the plunge and treat ourselves to a luxury stay, so took two rooms next to each other for our party of 2 adults and 2 children, so were paying £300/night. Fair enough if the hotel lived up to the price tag and the (positive) reviews...

Nope is was way worse than bad. The rooms were terrible. Small, shabby and in poor decorative order. Seriously felt more like staying in an old youth hostel. See the pictures below. The TV was approximately the size of an A4 piece of paper. No bath (which to be fair we were advised of in advance) but the shower room was like something lifted out of a airplane. The taps were so low pressure, we had to run the hot tap for several minutes for it to warm up - which was the advise staff gave when they came up to inspect.

Having decided to have a taster of hotel catering we had a cream tea on arrival. You can probably guess.. Weak tea and barely enough cream to butter the scone. The scone was almost stale. In quiet disbelief we did the deeper research that we should have done to begin with, which concurred with experice at this point - extremely poor value for money. A poor experience at half the cost.

As soon as we could find another place to stay we negotiated to checkout early. As one other reviewer has said, we were glad to get out alive, not get absorbed into the cult, not hand over our life savings and end the fleecing we had...