Frankston RSL — Restaurant in Melbourne

My GF and I recently visited Frankston RSL for dinner. Having both worked within hospitality we understand the nature of this kind of establishment. Firstly, the fact the pokies are the first thing you see as you enter the venue....I'm sickened by this. Poker Machines are a blight upon Victorian society, this is a proven fact and not just my opinion, and elderly Victorians are more at risk from poker machine addiction than any other group. Knowing that families and their children are walking in and seeing these 'money munchers' even before they get to the dining room is a method of normalizing the behaviour of gambling to those who are most impressionable and least able, due to their age, to make informed decisions. No child should be able to see a poker machine or hear their sounds which very much mimic those these children hear on their devices whilst playing games. Now, to the dining room and staff. Upon meeting the 'seater' she didn't mention to me that there was a ramp I could use to enter the dining area. As I was standing in front of her, using a walking aide...this was just plain ridiculous. Once we entered the main dining area we were confronted by a gang of preteen aged children running around without any adult bothering to attempt to control them. I understand that, once you've sat down, had a few beers and ordered your food, you might want to release the children into what is considered a 'safe environment'. Now, for me, I am a father of three children and I have taken them to these types of dining rooms. What I have never done is allowed my children to run around, full tilt, where there are older, less ambulant people who might be effected by my children's poor behaviour. These kids were insanely tearing about the place without once being pulled into line by either parents or venue staff. This was a flat out risk to those older diners and to me. I use a walking aide currently and twice, whilst walking to my table, I had my walking aide kicked by these preteen hoons....or, as their parents would call them 'energetic little angels'. Ha! Groups of semi inebriated parents ignored what became a rather obvious and verbal request by not only me but other, more senior diners, for some control to be metered out by the parents of this rabble. Even when the staff were asked to quell the din and stop the steady flow of running children they just plain ignored us. Now, we ordered our: entree, main meals and drinks at the same time. The entree, squid, arrived in double quick time and was very tasty and cooked perfectly. The mains arrived very soon after and both meals were passable as opposed to 'great'. My Scotch fillet was slightly more cooked than medium but we had nothing to drink with our meals. My GF had one cocktail delivered and quickly asked the waiter where the second drink was. He was confused. ?? She needed to go back to the bar to review the order to show him that, in fact, she had ordered two beverages. Aaaaaaand we waited, another ten minutes(!), for a simple cocktail to arrive. We won't dine at this venue again. Not because of one thing but the total sum of the issues here are unavoidable for me. Poor service in the dining room, a lack of control of a gaggle of children and the ever present poker machine noise and overpriced meals....not my cup of tea at all. Frankston RSL, visit once, tick it off your list and move on to better venues OR avoid it all together. One suggestion: since so many of your diners use canes, crutches or walking aides, why not add receptacles to the side of your dining chairs so these items might be slotted in and kept out of the way of others/avoid them become tripping hazards? It's a simple and affordable fix which would provide safety and surety that canes etc haven't slipped to the ground, where those of us who are less ambulant, cannot retrieve them from without the help of others. I only gave this venue two stars because I couldn't give it a half star to go with...

Should've Eaten the Table Décor – At Least It was more tender.

We made the fatal error of booking the “Dinner & Show” package instead of just grabbing a show ticket and feasting in the bistro like smarter, better-fed humans. Rookie mistake.

We skipped lunch, stomachs rumbling in anticipation of a pre-Eagles-tribute-show feast. We loitered in the sports bar beforehand, drooling at the sight of towering burgers, juicy steaks, and thick-cut chips that looked like they’d been hand-crafted by angels. Spirits were high. Hopes were higher.

Then... the function room. A dimly lit space where dreams (and appetites) go to die. We were ushered to “our” table—by which I mean a 20-seat diplomatic conference table shared with complete strangers who, like us, had no idea what culinary betrayal awaited.

Dinner was served quickly, which in hindsight makes sense—it doesn’t take long to plate up soul-crushing disappointment.

The menu offered two rotating options:

I received a charred hunk of lamb that looked like it was smuggled out of a coal mine. It sat lonely on the plate, surrounded by a few wilted salad pieces that had clearly given up on life.

Others received what I can only describe as "Chicken à la Tinned Beans"—a creative reinterpretation of school camp cuisine, minus the charm.

We begged the staff for salvation—just a bowl of hot chips from the bistro. A simple carb-based lifeline. The response? “No, sorry. If you get chips, everyone will want chips.”

Exactly. That’s the problem, my friend. When your guests are fantasizing about deep-fried potatoes during dinner, something has gone horribly wrong.

To their credit, the band was excellent. The Eagles tribute was a hit. But it’s hard to fully appreciate “Hotel California” when all you can think about is raiding a servo for a meat pie.

Final verdict: Come for the music, eat elsewhere. Unless you're a fan of coal-lamb and despair.

Maccas on...

Well, it's an RSL, and although it claims to be the biggest in Victoria, its definitely not the best. The best thing you can say for it is that its a cheap lunch, i.e. a main course for $11.40 (RSL members) about $12.50 (non members). Add a soup for $3. To be honest, I've had some good meals in here, but some not so good too. The general atmosphere is quite bogan, attracting, as it does, a client base including from the rougher parts of Frankston. (Yes, Frankston has some non-rough parts. Think about who lived there - Sir Reg Ansett, Graeme Kennedy, Bert Newton, etc). If you're looking for a hearty lunch at a cheap price and you happen to be in the area, it's worth a shot, just don't expect Florentino's. The patrons are not cursed with self awareness.

Edit. The above review is five years old. Lunch specials have been replaced by a seniors menu, with mains at $17.90, soup extra $2. The food is still hit and miss, and the main (non senior) menu is just not good value anymore. (Like most post COVID inflationary venues). They had opened an alternative dining experience called Cracked Pepper on the same site, but it didn't survive COVID, and that venue stands as an empty reminder of a failed venture. Most RSLs have the same problem, they are run by committees of opinionated veterans with usually no experience in hospitality. The ladies at the local gym seem to like the "Morning Melodies" that the RSL puts on from time to time, and they seem to be good value (according to my wife, I haven't been). Maybe I'll update this again in another five years. Or not. (The patrons are still not cursed with...