i was here briefly yesterday, just prior to my third date in my life (first one with that person), it was a difficult situation because i couldn't afford even to feed myself or any drink, let alone to buy such for her.
This was because a hospital person forbade me from employment, promising to allow me to seek employment at a later time, that i was to wait (it has been probably more than 7 years waiting), after i was put on a disability pension (this started in 2012 AD because of a False Accusation the Victoria Police took to be truth, because they are not good at interpretation at all, this ruined about 12 years of my Life, because the imposed substances by Psychiatrists made me very slow and unclear in thought, i could barely string a sentence properly together for much of that time because of those prescribed drugs, let alone to write or portray my musical compositions as i had studied many years to do - all because of a False Accusation and the bad interpretation skills of Victoria Police, who promoted weapons, do noise polluting sirens at night (they frighten Little Children), and promoted an imposing and confrontational attitude towards others, and they even struggled to interpret reality in any sufficient way). And so i struggled financially (and therefore probably can never marry / to support a Healthy Family), but recently after i was allowed to go against their suggestion to use the so-called "medication", my thought clarity returned and i composed several hundreds of pages of piano music, in just a few months - it turned out they had deceived me for many years, they had ruined about 12 years of my life.
i visited the place Hardout that yesterday, asking people inside to buy me a meal, because i was very hungry and thirsty because most of the little money i had went towards rent and bills and the printing of my volumes of scores (one printout of the entirety cost basically all of the money i get in 2 weeks). A person there was kind to me and bought me some pickles and i was very happy, because that was both lunch and dinner for me. i offered her my 10-page handwritten original manuscript op.928 in return, but she declined. It saddened me that she declined, because my name was Natan, meaning "he gave", but i remain thankful.
And it turned out that my "date", who i was later to meet and perform music for at another venue, i had misinterpreted,... and so her and her boyfriend listened to my portrayal of two Psalms (op.464 and op.467), and some of 9th Partita (op.676). They were kind all very kind to me. Thank you for preparing the good meal with the pickles, i wouldn't have been able to play piano well enough without any meal.
[attached is a image of the Partita portrayed that evening (wrote it in less than 1 day!), dedicated to a Lady who worked at a cake shop on Acland street a few years earlier - i can't recognise faces properly, so we absolutely lost contact and i became sad, and it seemed only logical to be saddened due to separation from the one who i loved, but who seemed eventually to not love me at all, so i gave up on even approaching Ladies to become marry with - and because of such matters, i have never experienced a Relationship...
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