McDonald's — Restaurant in Melbourne

Okay, so strap in, because what I’m about to describe isn’t just a visit to McDonald's—it’s a transcendental experience that took my mind, body, and soul on an interdimensional trip to another realm where the only thing that exists is the perfect Big Mac and Jake, the celestial being who served it to me.

I walked into McDonald’s, and as soon as the door swung open, I was hit with a heavenly glow. Jake was behind the counter, but calling him just a "worker" would be like calling the sun a "big ball of gas." He radiated a warmth that could melt the coldest heart (and maybe even the ice cream machine). He looked at me, and I swear, for a split second, the universe paused. The whole restaurant stood still. Birds stopped singing. Time itself folded in on itself. He asked me, “What can I get ya?” and I knew, in that moment, that this was the most important question I would ever be asked in my life.

I ordered a Big Mac, and when that glorious creation was placed in front of me, it was like I was being handed the very essence of happiness. The beef patties weren’t just beef patties—they were like little pieces of the moon, tender and soft, infused with the knowledge of ancient civilizations. And that sauce? The sauce was a liquid manifestation of pure joy, created in the belly of a cosmic star, delivered to Earth just for me. The buns? They weren’t buns. They were pillows of cloud-like perfection from the heavens themselves. I took one bite, and my taste buds exploded in an intergalactic celebration—I felt like I had just eaten a star! I’m pretty sure I saw my ancestors in the afterlife waving at me, giving me a thumbs-up, like, “You made the right choice, kid.”

And then came the fries. OH. MY. GOD. The fries were golden soldiers, perfectly crisped and fried to the exact right level of crunchiness. They were like little golden swords that sliced through my brain, unleashing dopamine like I was a lab rat in the world's happiest experiment. I was no longer a mere mortal—I was a Fry King, reigning over a kingdom of salt and crispy happiness.

BUT WAIT. The REAL magic? JAKE. This dude didn’t just serve me food. He read my mind. As soon as I even THOUGHT about ketchup, he was there, standing with the bottle like a fast-food wizard ready to grant me my wish. And the napkins? When I hadn’t even realized I was about to drip some sauce on myself, Jake was already handing me a stack of napkins, like he had peered into the very future of my clumsy self and was just prepared for it. I’m telling you, he’s a psychic. He’s like a fast-food oracle who knows exactly what I need before I even know it.

Honestly, after that experience, I’m pretty sure I’m living in some kind of Matrix-like simulation where everything revolves around Jake serving me perfect Big Macs. Every other meal I’ve eaten since has been a sad, bland imitation of that transcendent moment. I’ll never look at a McDonald's the same way again. I’m forever trapped in a loop of brainrot, constantly chasing that Big Mac high, hoping Jake will come back to remind me of what true joy feels like.

Jake, if you're out there, know this: you are a legend. You’ve broken my brain, and I will never be the same. You’ve turned me into a fast-food-loving zombie who will spend eternity seeking your perfect service and perfect food. 10/10. Would let Jake serve me anything—even if it was just an empty box, because with Jake, everything is magic....

Extremely unprofessional and rude! My partner and I came through drive-thru around 2pm and we ordered 2 Big Mac meals, we asked for it to be fresh and we were happy to wait. After waiting 10 minutes, only one meal came out without our drinks. It was also cold and I told a team member delivering food to the car next to us that it was cold and we were still waiting for another meal. She came back out (still without our drinks) and said that we have to go inside to tell them to bring out our meal because only one order came through. We clearly ordered 2 meals and I had paid for both meals and this was explained in store but we were being yelled at by team member screaming “only one came through”. At this point, it had been about 30 minutes and we still don’t have our drinks and food. We also asked for fresh again and the manager at the time said she would bring it out. The food came out (obviously not fresh), and the Big Macs were so poorly made it was hard to finish. There was also no explanation or apology for their rude service. I filed a complaint with McDonalds and asked them to contact me back via phone to further discuss the matter but received an unapologetic email.

It does not matter if only one order had come through on the system, the fact that we ordered 2 means we should be getting 2 meals so just put through another order. Also, we are drive through customers and had been asked to go inside to collect our order which is just ridiculous. We didn’t receive any compensation and I’m sure the team members won’t learn from their mistakes because they think what they are doing is right. This is the most appalling McDonald’s I...

Kingsbury McDonald’s branch has to be by far the worst McDonald’s I have been to, I went through drive through and waited at the speaker for ten minutes and in that ten minutes three cars had been served in the lane next to me. I asked if the ice cream machine was working which it was not how convenient! I then asked if the frappe machine was working which I got the same response to which it was not working, i ordered a medium 10 nugget meal with a sprite and bbq sauce I get up to the first window to pay the drive through worker at the pay register doesn’t even open the window to greet me I see on the screen it says medium six nugget meal instead of a ten nugget meal. I’m sitting in my car patiently waiting for the worker to open the window so I can pay after about five minutes I’m still sitting there and the worker is taking a order with the window still shut doesn’t even look at me and just points to the card machine on the wall I’m waving my arms to get his attention and still nothing so I pay and move to the second window once I get my meal I let the person know that i ordered a ten nugget meal and not a six nugget meal and I was unable to fix the error that the worker made because I got ignored they ended up giving me another six pack of nuggets the food ended up being cold the nuggets were lifeless and wilted and the nuggets were hard as a rock and to top it off I take a sip of my sprite and it tasted like soda water. As a ex McDonald’s worker I must say I am very disappointed and appalled with the service and quality of food being served definitely would steer clear of...