Missing Gorilla — Restaurant in Melbourne

The Gorilla is just the start of what's missing unfortunately :( The "updated" decor that was explained by both the bar staff & Jason (Manager) [in painful detail including the costs !] is a far cry from days gone by. Sampled some of the beers and ended up going with the one that wasn't room temperature !. The side plates provided were dirty (remnants of previous food) and one of the knives had some baked on lettuce !! Upon asking for "clean" items the excuses started.. & never seemed to end. Ordered the Saganaki to start followed by the $50 shared platter. Saganaki was average at best and bordered on being "tough" by the time it arrived. Here's where things went downhill rapidly.... the platter arrived and buried amongst what looked like a kilo of rocket leaf were 2 small sliders, 4 buffalo wings, "Rosemary" potatoes of all shapes and sizes, pizza/pita bread, 3 different dips & a small serve of olives. The sliders & dips were pretty reasonable and that's where it stopped. :( The bread was tougher than cardboard and seemed stale. The potatoes were raw/uncooked without the slightest hint of Rosemary and the wings were cold.. as in - felt like they'd only just been removed from the fridge and waved over a flame momentarily. Rarely ones to complain, we couldn't help it given the continued disappointment at what came our way just shy of $100... Jason essentially begged us to give "him" another opportunity to provide a higher quality of food (accompanied with countless excuses) given the head chef had just returned from his break! We agreed and then noted some quite "animated" discussions between Jason and the food staff.. it didn't really add to the whole experience and probably shouldn't be done in the view of customers. The replacement platter provided was of a slightly better standard but not anything to write home about.. the "rosemary-less" potatoes were still like a lucky dip and the bread if not scoffed immediately, again resembled cardboard. To say Jason was "over-compensating" by this stage is a massive understatement .. to the extent that he almost didn't leave our sides and became "over-bearing". # Jason for future reference :) Whilst talking over my wife mid-sentence to make his point including his hand gestures Jason offered a refund for our drinks (not completed as they weren't the best either).. we graciously accepted by way of some consolation given the less than pleasant/satisfactory experience. When Jason returned with the refund for the drinks, he took it upon himself to also give us a serve of the "signature dish/house specialty" sticky chicken.. of which apparently 25kgs a week gets sold... Did i mention he was trying to over-compensate at all? As a courtesy we sampled the dish somewhat hesitantly and for good reason.. yet another lucky dip :( Jason gave us a box to take home this apparently wonderful dish - accompanied with "detailed" instructions on how to re-heat it in order to prevent it from becoming hard/tough.... goes without saying but that ship had already set sail... and we disposed of the gift once we left. All we can say is - once bitten - twice shy... we'll never return again and if you are considering it -...

We went for brunch on Mother’s Day. I have never written a negative review before but felt my comments may help this restaurant to lift its game. Meals were served fairly promptly and staff were friendly and helpful. Sadly that’s where the positives ended. We were seated at tables on the balcony. The stools were very hard to sit on (I have 5 spinal fusions). There was very little room to move the stools to get in and out. The table was narrow and with 6 of us seated, there was not enough room for our plates, tea cups and pots. My plate was hanging over the edge of the table, making it awkward for me to eat. I also found it difficult to eat as I was too short to reach comfortably. Of the six of us that ordered only one person was happy with their meal. The eggs on sourdough that I ordered consisted of two eggs on a thin, hard, dry and in edible piece of sourdough. The only garnish was a couple of small micro herbs. Eggs were cooked to my liking but overall the dish was disappointing. Other members of our party complained that the pancakes were rubbery and dry and the berries looked soggy and unappetising. My daughter in law had to tell the waiter that she did not receive the berries with her order and he was apologetic and brought them out quickly. My daughter ordered a trio of dips with pita bread that she described as “disappointing”. I tried one of the dips and, whilst I found it tasted OK, it was lacking the flavour I have experienced at other restaurants and was again disappointing. Schnitzel arrived late and unexpectedly as we were told they did not serve it before 11.30 so my granddaughter just settled for chips. By the time the schnitzel arrived she was not hungry. The chips were delicious according to those who had them. I tried a piece of the schnitzel and felt it was very oily and uninspiring. I cannot recall what my 18 year old grandson ordered but do know that he ate less than half of it. I am sorry to sound so negative but we all came away saying how disappointed we all were. I hope the owners consider my comments and improve the quality of meals and presentation for their...

Oh boy, where do I even start with this terrible cafe? My visit to this so-called cafe in Eltham was a complete disaster from start to finish.

First of all, the service was beyond appalling. The staff seemed completely disinterested and couldn't be bothered to take our orders promptly. It felt like they were doing us a favor by serving us, even though we were paying customers.

Now, let's talk about the food, or should I say, the lack thereof? The menu was incredibly limited, with hardly any options to choose from. And to make matters worse, the few items they did have were tasteless and poorly prepared. I ordered a sandwich that was so dry and bland it felt like I was chewing on cardboard. The ingredients were clearly of low quality, and it seemed like they put no effort into making the food even remotely enjoyable.

As for the coffee, it was undrinkable. I'm not sure if they use actual coffee beans or just burnt scraps they found lying around, but it tasted like bitter sludge. I wouldn't be surprised if they never cleaned their coffee machine, considering how vile the drink was.

The atmosphere was nothing to write home about either. The place was dirty and uninviting, with no attention to decor or cleanliness. I wouldn't be surprised if they never bothered to clean the tables or floors.

To top it all off, the prices were exorbitant for the abysmal experience they provided. I wouldn't have minded paying a little extra for quality, but this place was a total rip-off. It's clear that they are just trying to squeeze every last penny out of...