The Alleyway — Restaurant in Melbourne

Worst customer service ever! Was looking forward to lunch with a friend I haven’t seen for 20 years, we were so overwhelmed seeing each other we didn’t look at the menu for about 30 mins – felt like 10 mins to us. The waitress was suddenly extremely rude – she told us that we were rude for not ordering yet even although I explained we haven’t seen each other for a long time, she projected some sort of bad experience from the past of people coming in and not ordering anything. Just because I had my own decaf green tea (literally nowhere has decaf green tea so I take my own ) she assumed we weren’t going to order anything. Even when I explained we were there for lunch and drinks she still didn’t back down . She was so rude we left and went to the pub and had lunch and drinks there instead. I can only assume she’s going through some sort of personal tragedy to behave like that. I hope she gets the support she needs and stops taking it out on customers

REPLY TO YOUR REPLY: Your response actually proves my point - rather than taking responsibility, you’ve doubled down and twisted the facts. It was 30 minutes, not 45. Be honest - decaf green tea is not on your menu (it’s not available anywhere, which is why I bring my own).

For the record, I wouldve been happy to pay for the hot water, I often do. We were having wine and main meals, cost was not an issue. All it needed was a simple, respectful conversation.

The issue wasn’t “curiosity”- your staff member directly told us we were rude for not ordering yet. She accused us of not intending to order even after I said that was not the case and she said it in a way that was sharp, hostile and cutting.

A genuine apology doesn’t come with excuses or rewriting events. Other cafes manage to handle situations like this with kindness- that’s what hospitality actually means. I know, I worked in it...

The Alleyway was done up a while ago and looks like a lovely cafe. Unfortunately I was unable to find out how good it was. I sat down at 9am having ordered a latte from the person who took me to my table. I ordered about 2 minutes later from the waitress who brought out the latte (too hot). After a while I began to feel like I was interrupting a bunch of mates hanging out, rather than trying to get a meal at a cafe. Getting anyone's attention was difficult - the staff were more interested in patting the dogs than taking away my latte which had been empty for about 10 minutes or seeing if I wanted another one. I manged to get someones attention to order a second latte. After 35 minutes of waiting I asked a waitress how long my breakfast was going to be - she said she'd check. When she returned with a knife, fork and serviette, she said "Sorry about that it won't be long". I asked why it had been so long, and she said "There was a problem with the printer - I definitely put your order in". 10 minutes later - after a total wait of 45 minutes, and still no food or second coffee I gave up - went inside and told them I didn't want it anymore. There was barely an apology, and no one attempted to make up for the terrible experience. The only benefit of the visit was I got a free coffee. Won't be bothering to try it again......

ORDERED: 🥗​ Nourish bowl: with quinoa, asparagus, kale, cherry tomatoes, sweet potato crisps, grilled halloumi, beetroot hummus, one poached egg & a side of lemon wedge smoked salmon ($27.00) ​🍟​ Crumbed onion rings ($8.00)

REVIEW: All the food we had at The Alleyway is bang for buck. The portion is generous, especially at the normal brunch price. I loved the smoked salmon on top of my nourish bowl. Slightly creamy, salty and smoky, it added a delicious much needed element. Although the beetroot hummus was artfully smeared on one side, I found the abundance of quinoa still drying. Wish there was something more 'hydrating' about this dish. Like opting for a more watery sauce instead? The crumbed onion rings were delicious though!

Ended up finding a piece of sharp plastic in my quinoa. Flagged it with the staff, and they offered to take the bowl away and make a dish but I was happy to finish it. When I was paying, they apologised again and informed that it must've been from the quinoa storage box that they were using.

Found that the staff were difficult to flag down. Sequestered away in an area behind foliage that was at eye height, I have no idea how they would manage to catch our/anyone's eyes - unless we actively and flamboyantly tried to get their attention or they were conveniently...