The Merri Creek Tavern — Restaurant in Melbourne

It was ok. Spirit selection was generic. The atmosphere was perfect for a sneaky afternoon tipple. Very chill staff, good service.

Unfortunately the owners passive aggressive and completely unfunny response to this review mocking me and my assumed alcoholism because they didn't like the amount of stars in my review or the use of the word "generic" (its valid) has compelled me to never go to this venue again and to drop my review to one star.

Following this the owner has decided to double down on their smart arsery, attempt to gaslight me and passively aggressively mock me again while pretending they are offering some sort of token apology. In an overblown self congratulatory and epically unfunny rant. Additionally, my review has been deemed "inaccurate" without any explanation as to why, whereas my use of the word generic has been questioned when it's clearly articulated as a reference to the bars choice of spirits on offer, is crystal clear and always has been. Have a look at the first photo available for this bar on Google Maps and it's evident exactly what I am referring too. Its like someone walked into Liquorland and said "Give me all the bottom shelf base level generic spirits you've got". The only one missing is Johnnie Walker Red Label or maybe that's not in the frame.

Best of luck at the 2024 Smart-Arse Awards mate.

I bet you did have a great night as I'm sure you swept the Smart-Arse awards like Lord of the Rings on Oscar night. Congratulations on your big win.

Starting to think this is all a pitiful attempt at bullying me into taking...

I’ve had the pleasure of being served by Mark over the years—across a handful of venues, under various guises. Always the steward, never the tyrant. Always running someone else’s ship, always with style and grace. But this? This venture feels different. A proper stake in something. And we’re all the better for it.

It’s a lost art, adding ambience to a room simply by polishing a glass—but Mark’s got it. He’s more than a barman, and the Merri Creek Tavern is more than a bar.

It’s a bit like that kid at school who could drift between every social group—cool without trying, kind without fanfare. The Tav has that same quiet magnetism. Held in high regard by many of sort and many of nature.

The other day I was a hot mess, frying on an unseasonal scorcher right at winter’s door. The Tav came into view, and there was Marky, tending tables and his patch of gold dirt out front. Like a beast, he lifted a table over his head to make way for a convoy of motorised scooters, then spun into a delicate blind turn and greeted me with a grin that reset my entire day.

Inside, one of the younger bar folk met me—a green lad, fresh from Nhill and nursing a city crush from afar. His haircut was atrocious, but that’s the world now. He was polite, eager to learn, and clearly being shaped by the steady hand of Mark.

There’s no real end to this story, and nor should there be. It’s a sample, a slice. A vignette of the Tav.

Lose a bad day at the Merri Creek Tavern door. Thanks, Marky. And thanks, bad...

Was having a great time with a few friends leaning into a few. Then the owner absolutely launched on a COVID safe tirade and berated us all for literally just standing around having a few casual beers with mates. Context. 4 people had arrived and were greeting the already settled in 6 others of us here. I understand that Covid has caused some genuine stress amongst business owners, particularly in the hospitality industry. But being pedantic and rude to us left a foul taste in my mouth. The situation was handled poorly. I’m currently sipping my last beer at this venue. Common sense...