The Grumpy Baker — Restaurant in Newcastle-Maitland

Chaos and ignorance of product. I was so hopeful this bakery would be as amazing as Woodfrog bakery in Melbourne or Burke st bakery in sydney . But was so let down. The cashier girl had no idea about any of the product or the names. When I asked for a sesame bagel (which looked like a Turkish simit) she looked confused and wondered off not sure what to do. in the time she was wondering around confused the last three in the window got sold to customers who came after me. which made the poor girl even more comfused. When I asked her for a sourdoughlite white she walked away again looking confused I had to come around the side of the counter and point it to here. Even then She struggled so I had to physically touch the tray with other bread in a period where covid is still around and I was flying in and out of Melbourne that month (I dont have covid but what if was one of those ppl who did and didn't care ). I asked also for a berry scroll she again didn't know what that was. She eventually walked away after she asked me three times and repeated back to me what I wanted but still she ended up grabbing an escargot instead, which I didn't realise till I got home to my annoyance. The chaos behind the counter was so bad the Baker dropped a tray of pies in his struggle to get it to the window. All this was happening while what looked like kids were poking a tray with sourdough bread which looked like it will be baked and sold in the middle of the cafe. I know Burke st bakery has a similar set-up but at least it is kept hygienic and behind a window to avoid forign matter. The chaos was so bad a lady and her partner were trying to explain products to the cashier cause they had no idea. And the level of noise was unbelievable. I'm all for family businesses but there must have been ten teenage kids wondering around behind the counter just chatting and carrying on. That was great to see that they are giving work to them. But how about we teach them as well and turn them into an asset to your business. This place need to get organised if you have the bread in the front window away for the cashier you staff and your item names should be clearly labelled at the back and front fotneh display to help your staff and customers. As for the food i got the escargot was dry they pie must have been one of the ones that were dropped it was in pieces in the tray. And the sourdough was nice but i couldn't enjoy it due to my frustrations at the experience. I will give them another go to see if it was a one off situation or weather I should just keep going out if Newcastle to enjoy these things. I do want to support local but it's hard with an experience like this. And just encase anyone is worried I was rude to the cashier No I wasn't I made sure I walked away with here smiling as we exchanged jokes. It was clear she was young and very keen to learn but there was no support or anyone standing back to jump in and help here when she struggled hats of to the young girl for trying your best I hope they do invest in you as you kept a smile on your face the whole time. There is no excuse to being rude or abusive to...

The Grumpy Baker Experience

’Twas a warm spring afternoon, and I was out with my partner (woman) when I found myself starting to get hungry after an uncharacteristically meagre breakfast. It was then that I made the fateful decision to stop at The Grumpy Baker for some lunchtime replenishment.

Inside, I was greeted by the incredible, rich aroma of freshly baked goods. Upon inquiry, I was informed that the pastry on the bottom right—appearing to have been handcrafted by some sort of benevolent, pastry-obsessed deity—was indeed a “Beef Sausage Roll.”

When I regained my composure and managed to stop openly drooling at the front of the queue, I strung together a coherent enough sentence to order the aforementioned Beef Sausage Roll.

Now, back home in the UK, a sausage roll is only ever available in the pork variant or, worse, some sort of sub-par, vego-friendly, ultra-processed nonsense, which I abhor.

I opted to take the roll away, as I was slightly apprehensive about eating it in front of my fellow Grumpy Baker patrons, given how gloriously oily it looked and the fact that I sport a large beard. A craven decision and not one I’m proud of.

So, cut to 1-2 minutes and 65-80 meters later, and I’m in the relative safety of the car park, far from prying, judgmental eyes.

I take my first bite and am suddenly overwhelmed with such flavour and rich pastry texture that my legs immediately give way. I land flat on my back, the lower part of my legs bent awkwardly beneath me.

In this state of sausage-induced euphoria, I feel absolutely no pain, even though the impact was hard onto concrete. By some miracle, the roll has landed perfectly on my chest, still nestled safely within the cardboard receptacle it was served in.

I decide to eat the rest lying flat on my back in the car park to avoid any further risk of impact trauma. Every bite transports me back to happy memories of my adolescence: riding a bike for the first time with my father, spotting my mother in the crowd when I scored a goal for the school football team, and wrestling with my uncle before he went to jail.

Each mouthful is somehow more decadent and mind-bogglingly delicious than the last, and I find myself writhing in fits of pleasure on the ground.

Upon finishing the last bite, still lying flat on my back, I start crying. Not because it’s over, but because it happened. And how glorious it was.

Perhaps I’ll be chasing the dragon for the rest of my days. Perhaps I’ll never quite have a sausage roll of the same calibre again. But one thing I do know: The Grumpy Baker has a customer for as long as I draw breath.

“True happiness is to enjoy the present, without anxious dependence upon the future, not to amuse ourselves with either hopes or fears, but to rest satisfied with what we have, which is sufficient, for he that is so wants nothing. The greatest blessings of mankind are within us and within our reach. A wise man is content with his lot, whatever it may be, without wishing for what he has not.”

— Seneca

5...

Came on a weekend for lunch.

Pros Plenty of parking Plenty of seats Good spot with ample sunlight Ability to watch them make and bake some of their products, which is interesting.

Cons Busy at lunch. Pies appear to be their most popular product, but also often out of stock or baking. It's not uncommon for individuals to purchase multiple pies. Whilst overall not quite a con, prepare to wait for pies. Menu is confusing. A wagyu burger is classed as a "sandwich/toasty". One cannot tell what bread one will get in a toasty (refer to photos of menu and meals). Value is poor. Chicken toasty was uninspiring. Lamb toasty was of much worse value. For 18 dollars, there was hardly anything in it and the bread was torn before arrival (refer to picture). Wagyu had OK size. Pies cost 9 dollars a pop and look sizeable, but still....9 dollars?

Overall, there is much hype around this cafe/bakery. It loses alot of points in value for money. Whilst I did not manage to get a pie today, experience with other menu items discourage making the trip in the future.

There are many other better value places for toasties/burgers/sandwich, such as Perry the Feeder, Chiefly East and Akuna Café; and for pies, such as Uprising Bakery, Eightbulls Bakehouse, Covered in Crumbs, and Mayfield French Hot Bread. These places are also local...