KFC Five Dock — Restaurant in Sydney

Restaurant was absolutely nasty, the floor looked worse than Scruffy Murphy's dance floor at 3am on a Sunday morning. I was served promptly by a super unenthusiastic girl who mashed the keypad and asked me if I wanted to upsize in this creepy, monotone and slurred voice. I literally thought she may be a zombie. I was ignored for a solid 10 minutes like an unattractive teenager at a school dance while I waited for my receipt and order number but fortunately the KFC zombie returned to give it to me.

I watched amused as the staff ran around like headless chickens (pun intended), literally threw meals into boxes and yelled at each other like an estranged family on boxing day after their fifth bottle of rosé.

The guy behind me left without ordering, he looked quite sad. A lady came in from drive through to have her order fixed, her hands on her hips to signify her disappointment. The two guys in front of me had to remind the staff for their drink and napkins respectively which is fair, I also like to quench my thirst and wipe my greasy fingers.

When I got my order it was short a sweet sweet wing which is why I had come in the first place. I was now as sad as the guy who left earlier. Potato mash was so cold it broke chips and subsequent recon chips sent in to save the first chip. Burger was absolutely honking, well, to be fair the chicken part was alright. Everything else looked like a depressed 13 year old had smashed his teenage angst into it which they probably had.

I ate my single wing, the bottom half of my smashed burger and drank about half of my solo. (There was nothing wrong with the Solo I'm just trying to cut down on my complex carbohydrates). I then fat shamed myself on the way home and promised myself I'd hit the gym tomorrow to...

Do not listen to any of these 5 star reviews, this KFC is definitely NOT 5 stars. The food tends to be oily and greasy to the point where it's gross but the worst part is definitely the service. I go here often so I know how things work. The front staff only use one register because they know that they are incapable of managing multiple orders at the same time effectively, which completely defies the purpose of fast food. If the restaurant is empty (and it usually is) then you're in luck. However, if there are even just 3-4 people in the line, expect to be waiting for at LEAST 15-20 minutes for your food. The front guys don't make eye contact with customers and sometimes just look completely lost on what they're supposed to be doing. Now I can't blame the front staff completely. I used to work at a well-run McDonalds restaurant so I reckon that I have a pretty good idea of what it takes for the entire team to be efficient, and I don't see efficiency at this particular KFC. My blame is directed towards upper level staff and management failing to properly train and prepare these guys, which is detrimental to the KFC brand and running of the restaurant considering that it's along the busy ass Parra Rd. The McDonalds right beside it has almost 3 times as many customers at any given time but I still get my food twice as quickly than I do at KFC. Despite this, the service at this KFC is generally quite nice - it's just that these kids look completely dumbfounded and confused whenever they do get more customers...

If you’re looking for the best Zinger Bacon & Cheese meal at KFC, steer clear of Five Dock – unless, of course, you’re a fan of theatre. For over a year now, I’ve witnessed the most spectacular performance every time I’ve visited: “The Case of the Missing Bacon.”

It starts with me ordering my beloved Zinger Bacon & Cheese, eyes full of hope, heart full of hunger. And then comes the inevitable plot twist: “Oh, we’ve run out of bacon.” Sometimes they spice things up by saying, “The delivery didn’t arrive,” as if their bacon supplier has suddenly vanished into thin air.

I can’t help but wonder: is there a nationwide bacon shortage KFC isn’t telling us about? Or is there a sneaky bacon-eating bandit on the loose in Five Dock, feasting on my dreams?

It’s almost impressive how consistently they fail to deliver on this one simple ingredient. It’s like being promised a cheeseburger and receiving just the bun. I could’ve driven to another KFC, but no, I’ve stuck around, believing that one day, the stars will align, and I’ll get that mythical bacon. But alas, it seems this branch is more committed to the art of disappointment than frying up some actual bacon.

Until that day comes, I’ll be taking my cravings elsewhere. Thanks for the memories, KFC Five Dock – or should I say,...