Roadhouse 23 — Restaurant in North Perth

Grok helped me organize my thoughts... My reviews are usually very positive and realistic....

Oh, where to begin with the exquisite dining experience at Roadhouse 23, a place that clearly aspires to redefine culinary disappointment with every plate it begrudgingly serves? From the moment we sat down, our waitress greeted us with all the warmth and charisma of a factory reset Roomba. Her deadpan delivery and robotic demeanor made us wonder if she was auditioning for the role of “AI Server Unit #47” in a dystopian sci-fi flick. Truly, a masterclass in making guests feel like an inconvenience.

We kicked things off with the beef barley soup, a dish that must have been crafted with the sole purpose of making us question our life choices. I’m no detective, but I’d wager this soup hadn’t seen a kitchen since the Harper administration. The barley? A mushy testament to overcooking, practically dissolving into a starchy abyss. Vegetables? Oh, they were there, but so unrecognizable they could’ve been props from a low-budget alien autopsy scene. As for the beef, it was either playing hide-and-seek or simply never invited to the party. The overwhelming oregano flavor was the star, punching every other taste into submission, though with enough salt and pepper, it almost—almost—tasted like… salt and pepper. A triumph.

For the main event, we bravely ventured into the specials: ribs and broiled chicken with mashed potatos, gravy and coleslaw. The ribs were tender, sure, but in the way that suggests they’d never even dreamed of a griddle or barbecue—just boiled into submission and slathered with regret. The two small chicken breast pieces were drier than seasoned oak wood left in the Sahara for a decade. My butter knife wept in defeat, forcing me to saw along the grain like a lumberjack tackling petrified timber. The mashed potatoes were a flavorless void, and the gravy? Somehow even less inspiring, which is honestly an achievement in culinary nihilism. The coleslaw, bless its heart, had crunch but no flavor.

My wife, ever the optimist, went for the Parmesan schnitzel, which arrived looking like a crime scene. A mysterious chili mixture—possibly scraped from the bottom of a jar long past it's freshest—sat atop the "schnitzel". A layer of floppy, sad white cheese that could’ve doubled as a prop in a B-movie sorta melted on top of the 2 breaded things. The schnitzel itself was so thin it might’ve been sliced with a paper shredder, and the breading reeked of rancid oil, offering no flavor beyond a lingering sense of betrayal. Not even a whisper of salt dared to show up. The fries were hot, which was the only positive note, but they left an aftertaste that could only be described as “haunted grease.” She opted for peas over coleslaw, a choice she’ll regret until her dying day. Gray, mushy, and tasting like they’d been marinated in pool water, those peas were the stuff of nightmares.

If this were my last meal before facing the gallows, I’d go out hungry, clutching my dignity. I wouldn’t eat here at gunpoint unless the gun was loaded with flavor—and trust me, this place doesn’t have any. Save your appetite and your sanity; dine literally...

Came here for Mother’s Day. The restaurant was not busy at the time that we came. We were greeted with a “do you know what you want yet?” From our server, basically right when we sat down. Not a “hello, how are you today” or anything remotely professional.. to which I said we need a little more time but will order drinks. Once we ordered, I had to get up twice to ask for more coffee. Our food took 45-50 mins to come out. Not to mention the garlic toast came out 10mins before the actual meal. Not to mention we ordered an appetizer and it came out at the same time as our food, not before hand. I stood up to ask for a manager, to find out that OUR SERVER WAS THE MANAGER. I was in absolute shock. I waitress myself and could not believe the lack of overall “service” , let alone simple kindness. She acted as though she was annoyed we were even there. And through observing her with other tables, it’s safe to say she is the same with them all. If I was the owner, I would definitely be having a meeting with my front of house staff to make sure everyone is on the same page when it comes to the steps of service. Additionally, tables around us were left with dirty dishes on them the whole duration we were there. The food was not terrible but our overall experience is what makes this review less than a 1 star. I do not recommend this place unless they make some real changes, and I’m not one to attack someone specifically but as someone in a management role, there definitely needs to be some...

Breakfast was ok but charge for coffee refill is not. At least offer 1 free refill. Same with the pop...almost $3 for a medium size glass of fountain pop with no refill. Sorry but that is just wrong and chintzy! Again offer at least 1 free refill. My wife ordered the roast beef and it was tough and very bland. Might return for breakfast but never for dinner again.

After getting a response I will add this. As the owner you are hardly one to judge the quality of your meals unbiased. That being said, I'm sure sometimes it is tender and juicy and flavourful but it certainly wasn't the night we were there. It was my wife's meal but she had me taste it and it was indeed tough and bland. Could have been a bad cut or an off night for the chef but it was what it was. As for the pop, it's not just the fast food franchises that offer free refills. We eat at many mom and pop restaurants and the only ones that don't offer refills are the ones who serve canned pop. We all know fountain pop cost literally pennies. Like I said offer at least one refill . Most people will only drink one glass anyway but the offer of a free refill is a good gesture at least. It could even lead to more business! As for the coffee, I did not notice that there was a free refill with my breakfast. If this is plain to see on the menu and I missed it, then I...