Metate Cabo — Restaurant in El Tezal

I had really high hopes for Metate after reading such glowing reviews and hearing of other’s positive experiences at the restaurant. Unfortunately outside of the atmosphere and resident dog Dados our dining experience fell short in every possible way. I would like to preface this review with that fact that we are long time locals and bilingual, so there is nothing lost in translation in our experience at Metate. My partner and I went for the first time for our anniversary dinner. Let’s start with the staff, while well staffed in terms of waitstaff to client ratio, the employees seemed to have zero interest actually serving the client. We were never asked about allergies. Water was not refilled without being asked. We were not offered any daily specials or informed of any changes in the menu for that night. We ordered 3 starters to share, approximately an hour later we were served. Each dish we tried was as though there was a bipolar person in the throes of a full manic episode directing the kitchen/menu. It was truly bizarre the flavor pairings and textures. Somewhere in all of the food was a chef with some skill you could tell but it was lost in the chaos of each dish tragically. We ordered the seafood risotto/tamal and the herbed milk fed chicken as our mains. The chicken arrived deep fried and with the complete absence of herbs or flavor other than it tasting like it had been soaked in the ocean for days and then thrown in a deep fryer, it utterly lacked in every way. Dry, greasy and salty. I’ve had better street pollo asados. I ended up feeding the chicken to Dados (the dog). The risotto/tamal was truly awful and made zero sense. The seafood risotto was crunchy ( far before al dente ) and casually seasoned, the fish tamal on top of a bed of shredded pork on the risotto created an unnecessary confusion to the dish. The only redemptive aspect was the perfectly seasoned/cooked whole prawns that adorned the meal. Our waiter did not come to ask us how our meals were. A bus boy continued to whisk our plates and glasses away without asking if we were done. And let me tell you, we were done, but a kind word to ask would have made all the difference. Desert or a coffee was not offered. They gave us a complementary flan with an American flag sparkler for our anniversary. While a kind gesture it too was a bizarre experience. The flan was dry, over cooked and paired with an odd grayish purple goo and mixed berries and powdered sugar. Not once during our experience were we asked how we liked the meal or had any engagement from the staff. By far the most attentive being the restaurant was Dados the dog. He was consistent, engaged, talkative and affectionate. I really wanted to enjoy this restaurant and dining experience but in all honesty you can get better food on the streets of Cabo and just as many pets with assorted dogs ( if that’s your thing) and save an abundance of money. The trees/landscaping and the dog are lovely and the only reason this review has any star. If you are looking a creative and flavorful taste of Mexico go...

Tourist trap! We had a terrible experience here unworthy of its supposed reputation. So I did some background digging... This restaurant used to be called La Chingada, the current owners bought them out, spent a ton of money on PR and got the coveted Michelin star. What this means is that the quality and service simply aren't there. I'll explain in detail.

Atmosphere: We went as a group of five on an 8:30 reservation. Sat down at 8:45. At first glance, it seemed cozy with the live music and rustic feel, but this quickly faded away as the jazz musician left at 9pm (restaurant closes at 10), and a termite visited our table (open air setting).

Food: We each ordered an appetizer and an entree. The apps were ok, decently presented but didn't wow us. The entrees absolutely disappointed us. The filet mignon, while lackluster, was at least edible. The babyback ribs were worse, by a mile. I can only describe the dish as a burned piece of animal fit for cavemen. It was over-charred to the point that calling it dry would be an overstatement. There were no other taste bud signals other than salt, a metric ton of it. It was the worst ribs I had anywhere, period.

Service: Someone in our group ordered a mojito. After the bill was settled, we took turns checking out the itemized list. She noticed her mojito was 265 pesos, but remembered seeing it on the menu as 195 pesos. She asked the waiter, who swore it was correct. We're like oh well. At the exit, I thought I'd check the menu and sure enough, it was listed at 195. I showed the waiter this, he got the manager over. Apparently their computer system had 3 versions of mojitos, each with a different price, while the menu only listed one. Why? Who knows. So the two started furiouly adjusting things while our group stood and watched. After about 5 minutes, he announced that an adjustment was not possible. So he instructed the cashier to give us 70 pesos in cash from the register, offering no apologies. A fitting ending, I guess. To this day, they still owe me the 20% tip amount on the overcharged 70 pesos, which I'll happily write off because I'm never going back.

Bottom line: Don't believe everything you see on Google Map, or Michelin guide for...

This restaurant was advertised as vegetarian friendly, and I am pescatarian, so I was willing to have a fish entrée as well... however, the waitress informed us that they were completely out of fish and octopus and shrimp

This limited me to only the vegetarian entrées and appetizers, so I ordered Purslane salad with Purslane greens. Purslane happened to be arugula, I discovered, and I find that trendy hipster lettuce very gross. The salad was terrible overall (completely flavorless and without dressing, so just tasted like pure arugula). It was a tiny amount of food and cost $15 US. And because I could not have seafood because they were all out of seafood in Cabo San Lucas, the capital of fresh seafood in all of Mexico, I had to order the only vegetarian entrée in the entire restaurant, which catered to people wishing to eat beef, the most environmentally devastating/damaging food on Earth.

The vegetarian entrée was a Mexican pizza, a crispy tortilla covered in black bean paste. The tortilla tasted and had the texture of a very stale cracker, and the black bean paste was just blended black beans with no salt or oil/butter /fat added. It had a meager smattering of the most flavorless vegetables imaginable, no spices, no spice, no salt added anywhere. As I am sure you can tell from reading this description, it was absolutely disgusting. The chef who invented this flavorless stale cracker with black bean paste and no cheese should be blacklisted and prohibited from ever preparing food again. The restaurant was extremely expensive, like $35-40 US per entrée.

The music they play it was all Latin flavored covers of Michael Jackson songs and modern pop music tunes, which if you are a music connoisseur like myself, was like having pure hydrochloric acid poured into your eardrums.

I can honestly say this was by far the worst restaurant experience of my life… by far.

Avoid this place like the plague. Disgusting and ridiculously overpriced because it is trying to be hipster with its heavy focus on environmentally destructive meats (the new...