La Colmena — Restaurant in Calvià

We ate here last Saturday as they had steak on the menu. I ordered steak, peppercorn sauce and chips. The others had burgers. When my steak arrived, it was like nothing I've ever seen before; it was 60% fat and the actual meat tasted like it was processed (two bites and you were through it, not like a proper fillet (or even a rump - more like the frozen processed 'steaks'). The chips were under cooked also. This was only the start, unfortunately. I was very hungry so persevered, but when the manager asked was everything ok, I told him 'not brilliant'.

His response was 'but what about the chips, they are the best in the world'. This, plus his defensive manner prompted me to be straight, so I told him the chips were hard and the steak was the worst I've ever tasted.

Astonishingly, he shrugged his shoulders and disappeared, not to return!

Later on, a different member of staff collected the plates (mine full of chewed fat and all the original chips). I asked for the bill.

Even more astonishingly, the bill arrived, with full charges for everything, despite the complaint and despite the plate being full when it was taken back.

I asked for the manager again and questioned this. His response was that the steak is the best on the island and the chips are the best in the world!

I pointed out that I was the customer who had just had the misfortune of eating the stuff, and that it was more akin to cat food.

If the manager had simply apologised and offered to change the food when I initially answered his question 'is everything ok', I would have left it at that and paid full price, but the attitude of this guy was beyond appalling. So much so that I refused to pay the full price, so it then became a haggling match, with him offering to knock 3 euros off, then 5, then eventually we settled for reducing the bill by the price of the steak.

I should have read the reviews on the place before eating here, but on holiday, it's not something...

So. I don't usually write reviews about restaurants, not even the best of the best. But this was so bad, that I felt obligated to warn other travellers.

We started the visit to the establishment by waiting in front of the restaurant, patiently waiting for a server or other staff to acknowledge our precense. A while later we got tired of waiting in the smoking hot sun that we just walked straight in and went directly to a table. Once at the table, a waiter made a slight wave at me, sort of acknowledging us. After a 15 minute wait at the table we ordered two glasses of orange juice. The waiter asked if we wanted freshky pressed orange juice and naturally we said yes. After another 10 minute wait we finally received our drinks. They tasted nothing like fresh orange juice. They pretty much tasted like rotten oranges smell. Our suspected that the orange juice came from concentrate and wasn't even blended properly. TERRIBLE. We then ordered a Mixed Paella for two. We had to wait for approximatly 30-40 minutes with some fairly low expectations. Not even with low expectations did it taste, in any way, good. The shrimps still had all the shell on them and didn't taste anything but frozen. The meat consisted of 70% bones, 20% fat and 10% meat. Making it impossible to eat. Some of the rice wasn't cooked properly and was still hard. I didn't want to taste the clams with the fear of getting sick.

In conclusion. Horrible service, horrible food. At least the restaurant...

We had what they call a "Lasagne" and were really unhappy (just look at the picture!). It was a tiny peace that was 1cm high. It was mostly liquid cheese and a few lasagne sheets; more like a lasagne soup. In my view, it would pass as a bad starter, but not a main dish that costs 12,50 Euros. I do need to say that the food on other people's plates looked a lot better (and there was much more of it). When we told the waiter that we were unhappy with the food, he immediately switched from his positive holiday vibe to a firm "You gotta talk to the boss". The boss first didn't really seem like she wanted to listen to us and then wasn't really open for criticism or compensation.

This is at least the second review that complains about the lasagne. Maybe they should rethink that dish. I'm sorry but I we're not coming back and I can't recommend...