PizzaExpress — Restaurant in Cherwell District

Pizza Express Banbury: A Masterclass in Leisurely Service

If you're looking to experience the thrilling sensation of time standing still whilst dining out, look no further than Pizza Express in Banbury. This establishment has elevated the art of sluggish service to such heights that one might mistake it for performance art—a carefully choreographed dance of indifference that would make a sloth weep with envy.

Upon arrival, the initial seating process begins promisingly enough. A member of staff, moving with all the urgency of continental drift, eventually acknowledges your existence and guides you to a table. This, as it transpires, represents the zenith of their enthusiasm for your custom. Once seated, you enter what can only be described as the Bermuda Triangle of hospitality—a mysterious void where waiters vanish into thin air and customer service goes to die.

The first challenge begins immediately: catching someone's attention to take your order. After approximately seventeen minutes of increasingly desperate attempts at eye contact, theatrical throat-clearing, and semaphore-style arm waving, a server materialises. They approach your table with the measured pace of someone walking through treacle, tablet in hand, wearing an expression that suggests they'd rather be literally anywhere else on Earth. The ordering process unfolds with all the speed and efficiency of a parliamentary committee meeting, punctuated by lengthy pauses and what can only be described as existential sighing.

Then comes the waiting. Oh, the waiting! Glaciers move with more alacrity than the kitchen at Pizza Express Banbury. You watch fellow diners who arrived after you receive their meals, finish eating, and depart whilst your table remains steadfastly food-free. Grass grows faster than their pizza preparation—in fact, you could probably plant seeds, nurture a small garden, and harvest your own basil in the time it takes for your dough balls to arrive.

When food eventually materialises, it's delivered with the ceremonial gravitas of a state funeral. The server places each plate with painstaking precision, as though defusing a particularly sensitive explosive device. Any requests for additional drinks or condiments are met with the same enthusiasm one might reserve for root canal surgery.

Clearing empty plates represents another Herculean challenge. Your finished dishes sit before you like archaeological artifacts whilst staff drift past in a dreamlike state, apparently blind to the mounting evidence of completed meals. The phrase "would you like to see the dessert menu?" seems to exist in a parallel universe where time moves at normal speed.

The grand finale—requesting the bill—requires the patience of a saint and the persistence of a debt collector. It's a process so protracted that you genuinely consider whether Pizza Express might accept payment by cheque, posted second-class, sometime next month.

Pizza Express? Hardly worthy of the name! The "Express" presumably refers to the Pony Express circa 1860, because there's certainly nothing remotely swift about this operation. If you're planning a visit, I'd suggest clearing your entire day—possibly your entire weekend. Bring a good book, perhaps War and Peace. You'll likely finish it before your pizza arrives.

At least the restaurant provides excellent value for money in one respect: you certainly get your money's worth of time spent dining. Whether you actually want to spend quite that much time is, of course, entirely...

We have had two meals here over a fortnight whilst passing through on our canal boat . The first meal with cannelloni and pizza on an early evening was as expected , really enjoyed the. Cannelloni but the service was slow after mains and drinks and we abandoned the idea of desserts . The last time on an even hotter day was very late lunch , service OK again up to mains and desserts . We both ordered Tuna Nicoise which came with a tiny dish of Caesar sauce - no French dressing available, luckily my husband doesn’t like dressing so I had enough . The disappointment wasn’t in the Tuna ( tinned and not in chunks ) but in the ‘ cos ‘ lettuce of which there was very little the rest being lambsleaf and believe it or not rocket ! A crunchy lettuce is essential for this salad and peppery rocket is not my favourite at any time. We were asked how the food was - I pointed out the amount of rocket and other leaves in this and how I was disappointed. Was offered some extra ‘ lettuce’ but think this missed the point asI was still fishing out all the other stuff to the side. We were going to stop for a dessert but again service just vanished so we left once again after having to ask for the...

I recently dined at Pizza Express and was extremely disappointed with the service. Our waitress, Luna, displayed a shocking level of rudeness that made us uncomfortable throughout the meal. Her dismissive attitude seemed to be uncalled for as we were polite. The other member of staff was also poorly trained and had no basic etiquette or hospitality. Who trains these waitresses?

From the start, there was no warm greeting, and basic manners like “please” or “thank you” were missing. The service was incredibly slow - waiting almost 45 minutes for one pizza and dough balls in a nearly empty restaurant. The dough balls were incorrect, but we didn’t complain and just ordered more. However, getting the attention of the staff was frustrating. At the end, when we asked to have our dough balls packed away, we were met with irritated looks and annoyance.

I expected better from a well-known restaurant like Pizza Express, but this was by far the worst service I’ve ever experienced. We didn’t allow it to ruin our evening but it really could have. I sincerely hope management addresses this issue to prevent future customers from having a similar experience. Sadly, will not...