Beavers — Restaurant in England

There is certainly novelty value in this cafe: firstly, I have never seen bread so thin on a sandwich in my life (genuinely baffling how it was even sliced! Impressive work, all), so if you’re in the market for a comical brunch then this is the place. Secondly, though, was one of the rudest staff members I’ve ever encountered (from the other reviews, it should be clear who this is). Genuinely, this person is a monument to rudeness, apathy, and bad taste. It is a rare treat to occasionally see so pristine and untarnished a glimpse of such deep, almost transcendental, disdain for other people. We tried to calculate the cost of our lunch for ourselves (a crime of a similar moral order, it seems, to the Firebombing of Dresden), to save the other staff, who had been polite and helpful, the bother of splitting our bill. Said member of staff asked us instead to recite our orders one by one, so that they could check the price against their own records: a mild inconvenience, but a zealous desire for accuracy can hardly be sniffed at in this post-truth age. Our last member then asked that they pay the remainder of the bill (even, perhaps, a small tip), since the staff member had been so assiduously calculating our exact expenditure by roll-call.

You would think that we had asked them to sacrifice their firstborn. ‘Revulsion’ is perhaps too playful and upbeat a term to describe their reaction. I was put in mind of ‘Ozymandias’ - their frown, and wrinkled lip, and sneer of cold command told well their bearer those passions held. Working out the remaining cost of a bill they themselves had insisted that we not calculate, and instead check against their own price records, seemed to them to be a task more suited to Leonidas and his Spartans defending Thermopylae against the Persian Horde, when it actually would have taken them maybe 10 seconds. They adamantly refused to even attempt such an insulting and proletarian task; their exhausted condescension was worthy of a slighted teenager, a master criminal in the sights of a slow-witted copper, or a Facebook pedant explaining to you your latest grammatical faux-pas. They should be commended for the sterling service they do the other restaurants and bars of Swanage (which are, incidentally, lovely) by making their hospitality seem positively Herculean by comparison.

...alright, maybe that’s a bit much. But there’s just no need to be rude, is...

Not one to complain, and the waitress’ are most likely expecting this review….

Ordered an oat milk latte. It came with white bits all floating in it. Asked for a new one, but was refused and was told that is what oat milk was like when it mixes with the ice/ water. I didn’t drink it and refused to pay for it as it wasn’t right. Another waitress said “I’m an oat milk drinker and that’s how it is”. I’m also an oat milk drinker, as that’s why I ordered oat milk and I have never had that before, only in Lidl oat milk which I didn’t buy again because white floating bits that settle at the bottom of the drink isn’t ideal, especially to be served at a cafe. Both waitresses were adamant that’s how it should be and were extremely rude. I tried to apologise to one of the waitresses to say look I’m sorry but I’ve just never had it like this before in any establishment or ones I’ve bought myself, and she again came up with the same excuse saying it’s the barista version of oat milk so that’s why it’s like it. I don’t know why this cafe is in denial that oat milk should be like this. I don’t know what oat milk they’re getting but they cannot serve it like that. I just really don’t understand why so much fuss and rudeness was caused over a drink. The caramel latte itself was £3.80, and I’m not sure if we needed to pay more for oat milk, but regardless of the price, just buy different oat milk 😂

My sister had the same, but the bits weren’t as bad so was happy to drink it- which we paid for, as for the rest of the food and drinks we had.

Rest of the food was okay, we just had...

Are the good reviews genuine?! We chose this place over Harry Ramsden's and I was SO sorry. We ordered two cod and chips for myself and my husband and scampi and chips for the children. When our food came and I cut into my cod, it was rock solid, obviously frozen and not cooked for long enough, (hence why you're supposed to fully defrost food before cooking). I reported it to the waitress who seemed familiar with this type of complaint as she whisked my plate away without question and I ordered the scampi. When it arrived I bit into it and a load of water came out, I tried another, same thing, it was probably cooked from frozen and again undercooked. I was put off after the cod and sent back the scampi, the staff were very accommodating and understanding. My husband paid the bill which I thought was WAY too much for the food served and I ended up at Harry Ramsden's for a take away that was far superior, very hot, extremely enjoyable and a fraction of the price. Beavers, you need to up your game, send staff on food hygiene courses as you would never survive in a competitive place and wouldn't last a week in London. I know this review is harsh but it reflects my true opinion, I am so lucky I didn't get food poisoning as that would have ruined my holiday. Sorry but I would not recommend...