The Beach Cafe — Restaurant in England

I had high expectations for this establishment after seeing so many glowing reviews and the current maps star rating of 4.7, however upon entering the cafè, i was almost immediately let down.

The staff were friendly and helpful, however the first thing i noticed was how dirty everything was, bearing in mind that it's a Wednesday morning at the start of February, there's not a lot going on, it's not busy and there should really be no excuse for mess, however the menus that were plastic laminated that were handed to us, had dried food and other stuff all over them, couldn't take more than a few seconds to wipe those down. The chairs were filthy with the cushions clearly not being hoovered or washed recently with lots of objects and food all over them, and no this wasn't just my table either, and so on.

So time to look at the menu, i was expecting a little bit of cost due to the decent views, however this was ludicrous, for 2 people we came out spending £40!

See photos attached for current pricing but the pricing on the menus weren't even up to date or correct! £3 for a cup of tea, £2.50 for a can of drink, £20 for a regular steak, £15 for a fish and chips, £10 for a breakfast! You may think, £10 for a breakfast is okay! Well, it would be if it were a full breakfast!

A "Full English" costing nearly £10 consisted of 1 small sausage, 2 supermarket rashers of bacon, 2 small eggs a slice of a tomato, a bit of baked beans and a toast. After asking can i change it around a little bit, the immediate answer was "no, it makes it too complicated, however you can choose one of our 'extra add-ons'" so i look at see the costs, jesus! £2 per extra sausage! I can get a pack of 8 sausages from tesco for 1.50! £2.50 for a hashbrown, £2.50 for some mushrooms and £2.50 for a single black pudding that should already have been part of the so called "full english" again, can get a pack of 6 black puddings for that price in tesco, so clearly a money grab.

After going through all of this back and forth, we settled on a fish and chips as it said freshly made in the kitchen caught from Ventnor, so i quizzed her, she then changed what she said to, she doesn't know if the fish is caught in Ventnor or not and when i asked if she could check, she nodded yes, but never did. Anyways, we ordered and what came out was hardly very fresh, or of great quality. Your classic frozen chunky chips you get from the supermarket, with a bit of frozen pees and the fish was certainly not fresh either. All of it was bland and tasteless and had to stock up on a lemon juice and ketchup combo with a load of extra salt to actually make it appetising, because even the salad that came with it, wasn't all that fresh and consisted of a few leaves, 2 extremely thin slices of cucumber and 1 leaf of lettuce. Anyway, we ate as much as we could but couldn't actually finish it because by the time we got towards the end, we were both feeling a bit off.

I asked repeatedly for a pint glass of water as i was very thirsty, and i kept getting a tiny not even half a pint glass of water so kept having to ask for constant refills, and the glasses were not too clean either. For this entire meal, we were given 1 singular little napkin and when asked for more, we were given literally 1 more each.

Now with a bad tummy, the bathroom was spacious but the light was flickering so bad that if anyone had epilepsy, they'd be in serious trouble, although they had such a huge room, they chose the smallest sink possible so i couldn't even get my regular sized hands in it properly, and to top it all off, the hand dryer sounded like an industrial shredder that wanted to eat your hands and barely actually did anything to dry them.

So by this point, it's so abundantly clear that this is purely a bare minimum, money grab of a cafè that has such amazing potential, if done right.

Finally, the choice of music was rather interesting, and not in a good way, because the genre was over 70 years old, didn't match the theme or vibe or the age of any of the customers and didn't help add to...

It’s a lovely place with a varied menu and wonderful location! Majority of the staff are very friendly however there is one lady who is quite rude, comes across miserable and seems as if she absolutely dislikes her job and customers. I came here a few weeks ago with friends and the food was great but unfortunately the service ruined our experience. I came back again yesterday and as I walked into the building the same member of staff (who was in the middle of serving a table by the way). Looked at me with raised eyebrows and asked ‘yes?’ As if I had just committed a crime by walking in. I said I’m going to look at the cake selection. She firmly told me ‘we aren’t serving food down on the seafront tables’ to which I replied ‘okay… I’m not sat down there I’ve just walked inside and would like to see what cakes there are’. She continued to make me feel quite uncomfortable but I just walked past her eventually and went to the counter, where I was served by a lovely lady! I understand it’s a very busy time of year and it can make the days long but I’ve heard from several others too they’ve also had the same member of staff put them off or ruin their visit here! The atmosphere could be great considering where the building is but the attitude of this waitress/server...

I have been visiting the Beach Cafe with my Mum who is in the early stages of dementia. She loves to eat out and so we have been eating here at LEAST once a week for the past 6-7 weeks. She lives in Spain but loves english cooking. Not only are the staff really welcoming and friendly but have been so very patient with Mum who can be a little demanding. Denise pretty much knew what our order would be each time! How lovely is she btw!! Adam is like a whirlwind but is happy to have a quick chat without making us feel like he's too busy so hurry up. Bev I feel like I have known her for ages, she is just fab. Oh the food.... This has to be my fave place to eat in the local area. The menu is not too big but there really is something for every taste. The specials board is worth a look each time and today I had the hunters chicken, it was soo good. The portions are huge but try and find room for the home made puddings, delicious!! So if anyone is looking for a tasty meal with the best staff front of house and in the kitchen then visit, you will not be disappointed. Dog...