Naughty Piglets — Restaurant in London

I went here a couple of weeks back on a busy Friday night, loved the atmosphere when we walked in until that is we were met with an abrupt manager/waiter/owner Jack of trades who rudely rushed us downstairs to be seated due to the lack of space upstairs. I brushed it off excited to be there, as I had been looking forward to visit for ages.

Then came the exact reason why every has gone wrong for Brixton, clearly this is a spot the owner wants to be trendy 'Chelsea with a bit of ruff'.

We were seated near another really pleasant couple on date night in the basement and all was relaxed and well until this owner etc walked straight past us with the 5 star experience smile and banter. My friend and I had been waiting for a menu 20 minutes before this couple.

We requested said menu as we were completely blanked and it was jovely thrown in front of us with a snooty disregard with no offer of choice of wine.

Again, I wouldnt let him ruin my night. we ordered food and despite reviews here.. It was to say the least mediocre pork belly was really disappointing and soggy. Not really fab as made out to be however the tapas style portions are perfect to allow to get a taste of everything.

Then came the wine list... Manager owner etc guy was irritated that we were asking questions about what flavours etc especially when we requested something dry, then on deciding to take a recommendation from him when he was peeved we wouldn't just go for the cheapest thing on the menu. Ending up getting a bottom of the barrel over tone of fart bottle.

We carried on chatting enjoying our company popping outside for a naughty cigarette and returning. Only to realise they had forgotten 2 other plates of food... We get it, it happens and because we were enjoying our night we wast bothered... Until...

We requested for the bill, and left our belongings on the table as before bag coat everything. We knew it would be relatively long wait as it was busy, as we are walking towards the door with NO coat and bag on the manager/waiter/owner etc lunges through the crowd and barks after us "YOU NEED TO PAY" in a scream that switched the attention of the kitchen staff and the guest to us of which we responded politely "yes we are waiting for the bill and having cigarette and evidently we haven't got any of our things" it was the most humiliating experience I have ever had. He responded oh and a unapologetic under the breath 'sorry' . More sympathetic and embarrassed looks from all kitchen staff and diners as we returned.

He had literally had be dying to get 'our type' out of the restaurant as it didn't match his upper class meets kooky dive clientele.

We were approached by the Co owner as we paid who purposely knocked some money off the bill, which to be honest anywhere else with the same treatment I wouldn't of handed a cent on principle.

The manager/waiter/owner guy needs to get his head out of hiss a££ and count his lucky stars he never tried to pull that poncy ish in Brixton 10 years ago....

Dear Naughty Piglets Team,

I hope this email finds you well, though can’t say the same for my stomach after last night’s visit.

Let’s start with the good: your website paints a lovely picture - natural wine, talented chefs, joyful cooking. A dreamy little haven of culinary delight. Unfortunately, what we actually experienced was more “naughty” the misbehaving, rule-breaking, slightly-scamming sense than anything remotely piglet-like or charming.

First, our waitress. We appreciate enthusiasm, but there’s a fine line between attentive service and feeling like a contestant on The Weakest Link being interrogated about our next drink order every four minutes. I asked for water. I received water. And yet, she persisted - an aggressive upsell campaign that made us feel like we were being held hostage by a sommelier-in-training with a quota to meet.

When we did finally cave and order wine, it was, shall we say, not for us. Thankfully, she did let us switch to cocktails, which was a rare moment of grace in an otherwise questionable evening.

Now, onto the menu. Perhaps we were simply too unsophisticated to grasp the culinary genius at play, but after struggling to decipher it, we opted for the only two dishes that seemed remotely recognisable: the Hake (£25, a number still burned into my memory) and the pumpkin pasta (£16). Imagine our horror when these dishes arrived looking more like amuse-bouches than actual meals. I tried to savour my £25 hake by cutting it into tiny, delicate bites, drawing out the experience in the same way one might ration their last meal on a desert island. Alas, five minutes later, the experience was over.

And then came the predictable, almost comedic, encore from our ever-diligent waitress: Dessert? Oh, no, no, we were quite full - of regret, not food.

To top it all off, when we finally paid and tried to leave, we were informed that our payment hadn’t gone through, forcing us to pay again. Whether it was an honest mistake or one final plot twist in the Naughty Piglets experience, I’m still unsure.

The food itself? Absolutely delicious. Every bite was a treat. But unfortunately, those bites were far too few. More effort has clearly been put into making the food look “quirky” making it actually substantial. In fact, the best thing about your restaurant is its close proximity to a large Sainsburys, where we were finally able to have a proper meal after leaving your establishment.

Oh, and a special mention to the toilets - because nothing says high-end dining experience quite like spotting mouse traps while washing your hands. If we’re paying these prices, the only tiny creatures we expect to see are beautifully plated on the menu, not scurrying around the loos.

Thanks for the memories (and the sudden urge to pack emergency snacks for future dining...

Went there for lunch with a friend from London, loved the atmosphere and the food. I’m not in the business but I’ve been traveling around a lot over the years to eat and discover the best culinary places around the planet as it’s one of my main passions. I could notice the care they put in the combination of the flavors, which is what I paramountly look for when I go to places like this one, and had a nice time for that lunch.

I wanna take a couple of minutes for the following though: it makes me sad to read some of the 1* reviews that penalize so much a place where you are mainly supposed to taste amazing food because of other random things that apparently offend their spoiled personality. Funnily enough they give 1* but then say that the food was delicious 😂. Those people make me laugh and should probably be banned from restaurants like this... Deeply bad reviews like those, unless driven by disrespect or harassment (which does not seem to be the case for this place) are unnecessary and very detrimental to the hard work and passion of a team which is surely trying to make money through their business (who isn’t?), but also to gift a moment of delight to customers while showing how passionate they are about cooking, and about serving the perfect pairing! I’m taking the time to write this unsolicited review about my last meal there cause I’m so done seeing customers that destroy places with a passion for great food and only care about being treated like a princess for a service that not even the Queen used to have. Please stop going to places who R&D their lives out to elevate carefully sourced ingredients if you just care about being fed a ton of average unexciting food on a single dish. Go to a SPA and get a jar of filling Mac and Cheese instead. And yes, I hate mice too, but it’s London, what do you expect 😂? As long as they make sure their food is kept clean and safe and they work on clean surfaces and respect health and safety standards.. It’s good to pretend respect and good food for the price you pay when you are sitting there, but don’t forget to read what kind of place you are going to before choosing it, it might save you money and disappointment. Please stop killing places with passionate teams, we’ll end up making all those nice cozy ones bankrupt and having to either go eat to food chains or into 3 Michelin stars restaurants. One thing I’d change is that yes maybe they could be a couple of pounds lower per dish, but that is also the fault of the current economic situation of the world, which is not only the fault of the restaurant unfortunately.

Looking forward to coming back to London soon for another meal...