The Humphrey Bean - JD Wetherspoon — Restaurant in Tonbridge and Malling

Hadn’t been to Tonbridge Wetherspoons in a while so went in the other day and oh.. my.. word.. the dirtiness of the place… I don’t think their glass washer was working properly as I ordered a bottled drink with a pint glass on the side (it was that grimy I dare not ask for a draft beer) and the glass was COVERED in dirt! Pint glasses have to be completely clean and crystal clear in order to get a good head of foam on the top otherwise the beer will taste gross! I asked for a cleaner glass so the barman looked around and handed me a less dirty pint glass saying “that cleanest we got.”… still dirty… I drank my drink from the bottle.

The tables were all sticky to the touch and the Wetherspoons newsletters were all over the place in a messy heap. It was clear no one had come to clean these tables in a long while and it wasn’t exactly a busy day either. Tbh I don’t think it had been cleaned in a few weeks or even a few months…

My girlfriend ordered the garlic bread as she was craving it and this circular cardboard turned up… dry as the Sahara she said and I’ll be honest I didn’t try it. Kept thinking how disgusting the pub was so didn’t want anything coming out of the kitchen and into my stomach. No thank you. Tried to tell her not to eat it but she was hungry… I’m shocked she’s not sick as a dog right now, honestly, she’s always been lucky like that to be fair.

Then you had the citizens of Tonbridge come in who are mostly very nice people, but there was one group who sat near us who were very loudly celebrating the fact that they spiked so many drinks the night before. This naturally made my girlfriend and I very uncomfortable and I’m surprised they were even let inside in the first place.

I know people will say it a Wetherspoons, you pay what you get which I understand but I also care about safety standards and hygiene. If the place is left dirty, cockroaches come in and those groups of lads were definitely cockroaches. The chain bosses need to send in a secret shopper to see for themselves what a state it’s in and the poor quality they’re putting out. If the bar is that dirty then I dare not think what state the kitchen is in… gross! Come on Wetherspoons, get your act together! Won’t come back again for some time till glasses are clean and staff pick up the antibacterial multisurface spray and...

We visited on: 23/06/24. Only graded the atmosphere as 3 stars because of the historical building. However it is severely dirty and lacking in hygiene and care. Worst spoons I have ever been to frankly. I wiped our booth table down with antibacterial hand gel and tissues myself and the tissues were filthy after. Absolutely blackened from filth. The pictures hanging around the booth had crusty food hanging off the peoples faces and clearly it had been there sometime. The menus were caked in food and sticky absolutely everywhere. We ended up having to download the app to use a menu.

Also the staff seemed to have no idea about vegetarianism as the first worker told us there were two vegetarian sausages left and we both had ordered breakfasts including veg sausages I clearly told him ‘ok keep the sausages ordered with the veggie breakfast and I am happy to remove veggie sausage from my breakfast wrap’ a simple solution to the issue. he then came back and clarified what we agreed so I repeated it clearly again to not have sausages in the wrap and to keep them on the veggie breakfast.

The next worker then brought the food over to us and said ‘here’s your vegetarian breakfast with meat sausages’ I was shocked and said ‘I’m sorry what?’ And he told me they put the vegetarian sausages in the wrap and added meat sausages to the vegetarian breakfast. I can’t even comprehend who thought that would be a good idea, chef or worker and I would really love to know who feeds meat to a vegetarian. I told him ‘no we’re vegetarian we don’t eat meat and we cannot have this with those on there’ the meat had been touching other items on the plate. Then then proceeded to bring out the same breakfast with the meat sausages removed and they added some toast and halloumi to the plate. Which would have been a good idea had it not been the same meat contaminated plate and food.

Filthy disgusting, dirty and lazy spoons. Would give minus score if it...

Unfortunately it won’t let me give 0 stars! We came here for a work leaving party 2 people where only 17 and drinking soft drinks, the rest of us were over 18. The staff where very rude to us and must of checked everyone’s ID about 20 to 30 times, it was literally every time we ordered a drink. I fully understand the staff have a job to do and need to check, but it became harressment and they were very rude about it. When 20:00 hit my drink order was with held and I was told I couldn’t have it until the 2 17 year olds have left the premises. This came with no warning and I had already paid £17 for it. I was quickly told I will be refund the money or I will have to wait till the 17 year olds where gone. The manager who clearly had no idea of the law about under 18 in pubs point us to a sign on the wall. Myself and a work colleague read the sign which said under 16 not allowed in after 20:00 seeing as my 2 work colleagues where 17 and only drinking J2Os and coke we challenged this. The manger quickly change his mind from it being law to being company policy and clearly had no idea. If we were given advance warnings about Weatherspoons policy (which isn’t on there website either) it would be a pain but fine. But no warning, rubbish excuses and rude staff is very poor customer service, especially As we must of spent a ridiculous amount of money there. The whole night was ruined by the rude staff! We had to say good bye and make 2 members of our team leave. I myself will never be drinking in this particular Weatherspoons again. I can’t believe that the staff and manager...