The Unicorn - JD Wetherspoon — Restaurant in Trafford

It all started from the moment i walked through those towering polished wooden doors. Immediately after entering this palace-like enclosure i caught the eye of a certain someone, a special someone. We locked eyes for what felt like an eternity as i felt every individual hair erect on all parts of my body. The Goosebumps sent shivers down my spine as i manoeuvred in and around the tables and chairs. Upon approaching the bar, I curiously glanced down at his name badge to see his name was Matt. Upon asking me what my beverage of choice was, my hands begun to tremble and my legs became weak, buckling under the pressure of his alpha male dominance. I thought to myself, “wow, what a gigachad”. I responded with my refreshment of choice, but my voice stuttered due to the sheer masculinity that stood before me. His chiselled jawline and distinct facial features made me feel like i was being engulfed into his sigma world. As he casually strolled away to acquire my cold beverage i couldn’t help but stare at his bustling backside, recoiling after ever step he took. One could even say it was more bubbly than the sparkling water on the table behind me! Seconds passed before he returned to present me with my drink. But this was no normal unloading of drinks. Upon approaching me, Matt maintained intense eye contact and while taking the drink off the tray, he slowly and seductively bit his bottom lip and whispered into my ear: ‘this one’s on the house’. It was at this moment i knew he wanted me to be more than just another one of his customers. Later that night, i found myself in the toilets as my bladder couldn’t hold up anymore. I finished urinating and as i went to buckle my belt back up i felt a big strong veiny hand caress my left shoulder. It was Matt, i gasped and he said, “let’s take this into the cubicle, shall we?” to which i responded with y-y-yes Matt. The cubicle door slammed shut and the door was locked. And the rest? The rest is history.

100/10 would...

Do NOT eat here! Took my wife & father for dinner tonight. We eat in Spoonies around the U.K. regularly, so we know what to expect.standard is usually good or very good. HOWEVER…. this place serves the worst food ever!! Cheese and ham panini had NO cheese and was like flat cardboard with a scattering of dry and reheated chips. Salad had hair in it. Yep. Human hair (please god). Roast chicken was ok but mash was disgusting taste and texture and gravy was wallpaper paste.

My dad has been in catering for 40 years and reckons it was the worst meal he’d EVER had in his life! It was mine and my wife’s beyond all shadow of a doubt.

Megan the waitress was fabulous (and embarrassed). Whoever is the ‘chef’ shouldn’t be allowed in the kitchen or in the building or anyone else’s kitchen.

The manager didn’t have the professional courage to come and apologise in person, nor did they know how to manage their kitchen or pub. It wasn’t clearly a new issue with the kitchen from what we gathered the way they reacted. We noticed no one else was eating there! No we know why. I never bother leaving reviews but this was genuinely off the scale of scary and awful. Do NOT eat here!!! Look at the other reviews and be warned. Drinks are fine but they should be shut down for what they dared allow come out of the kitchen. Ruined the night and my day with my father. We were refunded via the app but the manager left megan to make the apologies and deal with the situation. Poor leadership, which is probably why they’ve let this terrible set of hygiene and food standards happen! Mr Wetherspoons, you should close this place down before they get you closed down. Health standards people should close this kitchen down and never let the person working in it as the ‘chef’ go near food again. A refund isn’t the point. You ruined our day and evening and who knows if we will be sick tonight...

Don’t ever apply here- I was emailed to come for an interview and all I was told was to come there at a specific time which I did. As I got there for the interview they made me wait in the busy restaurant for 20 minutes and then they finally came to me and asked if I have my passport in an INTERVIEW- not even got the job yet so don’t need it- when they didn’t even tell me I needed to bring anything in the email which they should know to do as a manager and then left me again for another 10 minutes only to come back and say that I have to have my passport with me and they asked me to go home and get it after I had already come in late in the evening but agreed to come the next day again for an interview. I came in again today for the interview with my passport again and tried to ask one of the workers to get me the manager so I could do my interview and I was given a very blunt response saying that I’m not allowed because I’m under 18 ( they knew I was under 18 in my last encounter ) and wouldn’t let me speak to the manager even though the manager was the one that told me less than 24HRS ago to come again. When the manager was free I told them what I had just been told and he told me that I’m not allowed to work even though their application says I am allowed to work there and so did the manager the night before. As a manager you should know how to communicate properly and treat people fairly, not give out false information and drag people along for two days, passing the blame of the issue onto one another. If you knew that this was the case you should have called me or emailed me before hand and not wasted my time further. Please go and train on how to actually be a manager and not just have the title. The one star...