Slow & Low Bar-B-Que — Restaurant in Cocoa Beach

Slow & Low BBQ 306 N. Orlando Ave., Cocoa Beach, FL 32931

2 Stars

BBDO uses a food genre method of rating food. So, BBQ is graded against BBQ. It's a simple process that seems to confuse many people. In Brevard County, we have one outstanding BBQ restaurant (Crydermans) and then the rest. One thing I have never had in that #1 place is stale food. However, I get ahead of myself.

Kelsey is my server today and not only was she exceedingly honest in regards to the menu, but she was outstanding in every way a server should. She was prompt, polite, outgoing, and exuded an air of welcoming confidence. If the front of the house needs a sacristan, Kelsey should be your go-to. Kudos, Kelsey! I asked Kelsey for the Beast Sandwich, a half-rack of Ribs, some Brunswick Stew and sides of corn on the cob and greens.

As soon as Kelsey returned with my feast, I immediately got to work. This brings me back to my comment about never getting stale food at Crydermans. Unfortunately, Slow & Low has not grasped that principle. All of the food I tasted here was the dregs of the last seven days. I must have gotten the final order of greens out of a 10 day old pot. What is more insulting is that there are two locations. One in tourist trap heaven (Cocoa Beach, FL) and one in God's Waiting Room...Viera. Where pudding and Polident are the top selling items.

The first item I sampled from Low & Slow BBQ was The Beast. The Beast is a sandwich consisting of burnt ends, pulled pork, in-house smoked sausage, Cole slaw, and pickled onions. Before I get into the description of the food, on the menu, it tells me the sausage was smoked in-house, and they felt the need to advertise that anything that doesn't say made in-house, such as the slaw, I assume was not. Once again, the start and finish of any sandwich is the bread upon which it is made. This was at least 3 days past the freshness date and the accompanying fillings of burnt ends and sausage tasted at least a month old. OK, I might have used a bit of hyperbole there, but you get my point, the meat was past its prime and please get your mind out of the gutter now.

The half-rack of ribs was next to visit my palate and it left absolutely nothing behind as it did so. It had zero flavor. How is that possible for something that should have been in the smoker for hours before I ordered it? I took three bites to make sure I wasn't missing something and I wasn't. None of them resulted in flavor.

I was tempted to skip the rest but knew I had a job to do, so I grabbed my spoon and ladled some Brunswick Stew into my oral orifice. Have you ever had stale stew? Neither had I until that moment. It was flat, bland, and again, the meat was tired and past its prime. My side of corn on the cob, while undoubtedly of the frozen kind, was surprisingly good, while the turnip greens were poorly executed and fell completely flat on the palate.

The Big Boy Says, “The ribs weren't terrible, but...

I will add my thoughts on the last review as I was there also. The only time I had been here prior to today was a year ago and the service was poor and there were questions regarding charges on the bill. I thought I would give it another try and I am sorry I did. While the wings are good, they are not good enough to negate the terrible customer service experience. We asked before ordering if we could split flavors on a 20 wing order and was told yes. It was extremely windy and cool out so when our wings arrived we asked if we could get some sort of cover for them to keep them warm. The server acted disinterested and put out. Another person then dropped off the covers for the wings a few minutes later. By then the wings were mostly cold. The flavor was good and the wings were meaty. We never again saw any server for the remainder of our meal since were were being rotated between servers. At the end of the meal I had to get up and go ask for a box for leftovers. I also asked for the checks at that time. A third server not seen before; an older lady, dropped off our checks. We immediately realized we had been charged for 2 - 10 wing orders and not 20 wings, a difference of 3-4 dollars. There were also changes for a certain wing sauce and extra sauce. I have wings multiple times per week all across the area and this is the first time I have seen sauce charges. We pointed out the over charge and the server responded with "I just came on shift and don't know about this; You need to calm down". I was shocked at the response. The original server then came over and explained that they don't split flavors across orders and the charges were correct. I explained that we had asked about that specifically before ordering and was told it was allowed. We gave her payment for the checks and she took my card and my friends cash. The older server then brought back our completed checks after several minutes. She asked if wee wanted a manager and I said no, I just want my card back and that I wouldn't be back. She then turned around holding my card and my friends change and said "I'm going to get a manager". I again requested my card and that I wanted to leave and she ignored me and went back inside still holding our card and cash. I thought at one point I may need to make a scene to get my credit card back. The manager then came out and explained he knew nothing about the situation. I then explained the whole situation again and he said "well the other server discounted them correct"? I said no she didn't and we just wanted our card and change and to leave. He offered some free beverages that we declined and got our items and left after making sure he understood that we wouldn't be back. He apologized and said "don't worry about leaving a tip or anything" which we didn't. The disregard for customer service is enough to make me...

We went to Slow & Low for a family dinner (party of 7!) while on vacation for a baseball tournament. Three of us ordered the pulled pork sandwich, a full rack of ribs, Dino nuggets for the 2 kiddos, and a burger. Every single one of our plates had cold food!! Everyone! We all got 2 different sides to choose from for our meal, and those were also cold. One of our persons got a baked potato and the butter never melted. The Mac & cheese was so cold it congealed, and multiple people got this side. The kiddos both got kids meals, Dino nuggets & fries. Dino nuggets were perfectly crisp and hot, fries, not so much. The ribs & baked potato plate, were the worst. Everything felt like it came straight out of the fridge. We told our server and she did NOTHING about it!! She came back & asked us how things were and we told her the cold food situation and she said “she would be right back,” 3 TIMES! The last time she came back she asked US what we wanted her to do. We were all mind blown! We told her, again, for the 4th time, and she said she would tell the kitchen again. Finally when the bill came and the rib plate wasn’t eaten she asked if we wanted it taken off the bill or made a new one, to-go. We told her multiple times that we would have to go home, and heat the food up, to enjoy the food, at the temperature it’s supposed to be. She never took the food off the bill and she gave us the same rib plate order, to-go.

From an actual food taste standpoint, it was the worst bbq I’ve ever had! I eat out A LOT and have experienced several restaurants, with lots of different types of food, in lots of different cities. The pork was extremely dry and not seasoned, the bbq sauce was sitting in the heat and was very vinegar-y, not Carolina style at all. The Mac & cheese was very mushy (noodles & sauce), the turnip greens were very bland, the baked beans were decent and tasty, the green beans (canned) were over cooked and the ends of the ribs (both orders) were burnt & dry.

All & all, the only thing good there was...