Waffle House — Restaurant in Cullman

Let me tell y’all something right now: if you're looking for a calm, peaceful breakfast with jazz music and linen napkins, GET THE HELL OUTTA HERE. This ain’t that.

I walked into this Waffle House at 2:47am on a Tuesday, fresh off a questionable decision and an argument with my ex via Snapchat voice notes. I needed comfort food and chaos. I got both, and I will never be the same.

The hostess had a black eye and a taser. Not even mad. I respect it.

There was a dude in the corner shirtless, freestyle rapping about his ex-wife and the government. He made eye contact with me mid-verse and said, “You get it.” And I did.

A cook named Big T looked me dead in the eyes and said, “What do you want, sugarplum?” I panicked and said “yes.” He took it as a challenge. Ten minutes later, he slid me a plate with waffles shaped like Alabama, a biscuit that whispered “forgive yourself,” and hashbrowns scattered, smothered, and covered in what I can only describe as divine retribution.

Midway through my meal, a fistfight broke out between a guy in pajama pants and a woman holding a baby AND a vape pen. Nobody flinched. The baby won. The waitress handed me a second coffee “on the house” because I “didn’t scream.” Legendary.

Then the power flickered. The jukebox restarted. “Neon Moon” by Brooks & Dunn started playing. The cook lit a cigarette with a blowtorch, nodded at me, and said, “We run on violence and waffles.” I cried.

Before I left, the waitress handed me a to-go cup, a side of bacon I didn’t order, and said, “For the road, handsome.” I told her I’d name my firstborn after her. She said, “Make sure she fights.”

I walked outside and the sun was rising. A raccoon watched me from the dumpster. I felt... seen.

If you’re looking for the safest unhinged decision of your life, go to this Waffle House. Just don’t ask for avocado toast unless you want hands.

Would give 6 stars if they let me...

-1:30 am I woke up and craved Waffle House- I go place my order it’s around 35 dollars don’t get the drink while I wait. 5 ppl working no problem I ask to get my drink. Waited patiently - get my food go home everything’s burnt. I try to convince my husband to eat it but he chipped a tooth and was totally done with it. I’m not one to try to make a fuss but 35 bucks for food Thts burnt AND my husband won’t eat his. I went for a refund with all the food in hand was very polite about it until the lady at the counter gave me an underhanded jab. “This can’t be all the food” - i told her every individual item that was in my bag and told her witch waitress and time the order was placed. She told me tht none of the items were burnt but well done— I work food I know what the food is supposed to look like— but I needed to bring the food back several hours later an talk to a manager on that shift because she couldn’t help me with a refund. I told her I didn’t want the food back she told me she could keep it for the next manager. . 1 I tried to avoid goin back to deal with this BECAUSE I DIDNT WANT TO GET BACK OUT. 2 I got back out and you can’t help me?? Was a waste mf my time 3 you back handedly Called me a liar because I wanted a simple refund because the food was in fact BURNT? I was so polite and tried to be the one tht was calm and understanding - because I do understand that things happen we are human -but the moment you tell me that the food isn’t burnt, call me a liar about all the food being brought back, and waste my time then my attitude changes and reviews are...

Well started off good. Then a table came open only one side of the store open. Limited seating. Right. The lady came to clean it up just wiped the table that wuz it I asked her to wipe the seat out it had drink spilled in it she told us if we didn't want the table Ishe wuz gonna give it to some else ok do that. Another table came open it got cleaned she asked these other people to come on a table wuz open. WE STILL WAITING ON A TABLE. BEEN THERE 45 MINS ALREADY so another table came open. I got up went to it and sat down. She said this table isn't ready yet. I told her I wuz not moving she can clean it while I wuz setting there. .so she did. Then sat 30 mins waiting to order never came over. Then this other lady came over to take our got our drinks took our order brought our food out asked if we needed any thing. Kepted our glasses full the whole time we told her thank you every time now that wuz service we got done we to pay out asked the nice lady if that wuz her table she said no so I asked her where the tip would go she said to me I served you. We tip her 50 .00 for just being a good person and doing her job. That other lady don't need to be waffle house material may in a chicken house picking up eggs or something like that. The cook and food wuz awesome. No one should feel uncomfortable going into a waffle house just to eat folks. Cullman Alabama waffle house 157 hwy exit...