Express Poultry & Fish — Restaurant in Dearborn

🚫 ZERO STARS. This wasn’t a meal—it was a CRIME SCENE.

No. Actually no. Because calling this a “restaurant” is a violation of language. This place should come with a warning sign and trauma counseling. I’m genuinely shocked the health department hasn’t already taped it off like a homicide investigation. I don’t even wanna write this but I HAVE to. The people need to be protected.

I pulled up to Express Poultry & Fish after a long day, hungry as hell, ready to smash some chicken. But nah. What I got instead? A box full of pain. A stomach full of betrayal. A soul full of regret.

Let’s start with the chicken. The so-called “Amish chicken.” That bird did not die with honor. It died twice—once on the farm, and again in that sorry excuse of a deep fryer. It was dry, rubbery, and somehow STILL raw in the middle. I bit into it and literally paused, like “Did I just get punk’d?” I actually opened it up thinking it was undercooked. I’ve seen jerky with more moisture. I had to chew it with water in my mouth like I was taking pills.

The fish? Bro… that fish tasted like it died of natural causes. No seasoning, no crisp, just swampy mush covered in oil that tasted like it came out a 2004 Chevy engine. I took one bite and immediately started googling food poisoning. I’m not playing—I legit felt dizzy 10 minutes later. I thought I needed to go to urgent care.

Wedges? Cold, soggy, straight from the depths of the trash fryer. No salt, no texture, just sadness. You ever bite into a fry and immediately wish you could go back in time and slap yourself? Yeah. That was me.

The biscuit? Bro I tried to break it in half and it literally crumbled like drywall. DRY. No honey, no butter, no taste—just crust and pain. I gave a piece to my cat and she walked away like I insulted her ancestors.

And let’s talk about the service. The guy working looked like he hated his life, hated my order, and hated me. Didn’t say a single word the entire time. I said “thank you” when I got my food and he looked at me like I spoke a foreign language. I should’ve taken the hint and threw the bag away right then and there.

And the worst part? I PAID $28 FOR THIS. Twenty. Eight. American. Dollars. I felt like I got robbed but had to say thank you after. The only thing “express” about this place is how fast my stomach started cramping after. I’m talking full-on diarrhea with attitude. That toilet saw war. My bathroom still hasn’t recovered.

I wouldn’t eat here again if you offered me $100. Matter of fact, if you gave me free food from here for life, I’d block your number. I’d rather eat grass, rocks, or the cardboard box this came in.

This place shouldn’t even be open. It should be turned into a parking lot. Or condemned. Or both.

If you love yourself, your taste buds, your family, your peace—DO. NOT. EAT. HERE.

I’m actually mad I didn’t...

Horrible place, very sketchy practices by the owner.

PRICEY: I called and ordered some sardines, they charge $12.99 per pound which is outrageous but it was close to the shopping area I was visiting so I didn't mind paying the few extra dollars.

BAD MANAGEMENT: I ordered over the phone a day before and was told they close at 7:30 pm on Saturday. I show up at 7:25 pm "construction on the highway to Michigan was very bad causing back ups" they are closed and the guy is getting in his car, I didn't really care I was leaving but the guy seemed nice and said I will open back up for you although you missed the working hours by a lot but I will open back up for you, "I was 5 minutes before closing" but who cares no reason to argue here.

FOUL SMELL: First the place has absence in tidiness, it's not the cleanest. If I visited this place beforehand, I would have never bought anything from here. The place is a clutter filled with inventory and the smell is not the greatest, I got a glimpse from the back room where they prepare their meet products and it looked pretty messy.

POOR ETHICS: The owner is a cheater, I purchased 2 Lbs. of the said sardines when I got home I weighed the fish including the box they came in they were 1 Lbs., when confronted by phone he claimed because of cleaning, i cleaned sardines and minnows before myself, you don't get half of them out when you clean them which only adds insult to the entire process.

SUPER LOW ETHICS: The "sardines" he sold me are not even salt water sardines, they are freshwater emerald shiners.

All the owner had to say, "I'm sorry I believe I made a mistake and I will try to take care of you better next time" or any sort of apology, but instead he decided to be a rude "I don't do anything wrong" denier. Thanks for ripping us off, I will never be back, I will leave bad reviews, very bitter experience for a first...

I’ve been going to this place on and off for the past 10 years. They have good chicken fried and grilled and good fried fish and that’s the reason Why I go. In addition to the many reasons I will state, The main reason I am giving this one star is that during the 10 years not even once I went to this place and came out with everything I ordered they must forget fries or part of the order. There is no customer appreciation, they don’t care for customers in regular times and in busy times it’s a lot worse. There is never thank you or have a good... or any good word. Always feels like they don't need your business and they have a lot of other customers. Last time I went to pick my order (grilled chicken, 6 pieces fried chik tenders and a side fries). My grilled chicken was ready and the guy packed my order without the tenders. Of course they did not put the fries either but another customer had a fries and they forgot to give it to him so they packed it for me. The order was all done and packed but the chicken tenders were not started yet which I had to wait for another 15 minutes. The guy still stupidly explained that tenders takes strictlly 8 minutes and charbroiled chicken takes 30 to 45 mins ! I didn't understand how this explains that part of my order which should take 30 to 45 mins is ready and packed sitting on the steamer to dry out so I eat it while the tenders are still not even in the fryer. Finally the order was packed and after I left I recognized that they forget to pack the condiments and bread that I payed for. Fortunately i was still close and I drove back to get them. To be fair there food is good but they have to work on there system and provide some acceptable...